Two's company

[weescotlassie]

Hi,

 

I stubled across this web site whilst looking for some advice. Here is my story, hope there is someone out there who can help. Thank you in advance if you do...

 

I met my bf about 5 years ago. He is great, kind, loving, supportive, funny, just about everything you could wish for. His family have treated me like their own. We bought a house together about 3 years ago, and that's just about when our problems began. Our love-life wasn't great, although he was very caring, there was something lacking. He was fulfilled, but I was left wanting more. I always had a high sex drive, and he could not keep up. He was also quite pruddish and straight laced when it came to matters of the bedroom, where I was more adventureous and free spirited.

 

I started to resent his lack of enthusiasm to try and spice things up, he just didn't want to know. I gave up trying, and that's when our love-life became non-existent. Whenever he did try getting close and intimate, I pushed him away. I now have no feelings for him in that way, it sounds harsh, but I'm repulsed at the thought of having any sexual contact with him.

 

Anyway, I started a new job, and I clicked with a particular member of staff. We bacame friends and we shared our problems, thoughts etc with each other. He was married and I didn't see him as anything more than just friends. He was having marriage problems, and had been for over 10 years. The one day, he took things further. I responded and we started having an affair. For me, it was just for the sex.

 

His wife left him after a while(not because of me) and we continued seeing each other. Soon enough, we fell in love. He was offered a job 300 miles away and he considered turning it down. It was a great oppertunity, and I encouraged him to take it.

 

Anyway, I left my bf to start a new life with my lover. Things were difficult and our relationship was tested. We were living in cramped conditions with little heating. I found it too hard. I was homesick and I regretted the way in which I ended things with my bf. I returned home for what was meant to be a few days of thinking. The few days have now turned into 2 months and I don't know what to do. Should I stay with my bf or go back to my lover? I love them both, even though they are so different. They both want me to be happy, and they are both offering commitment and the chance of a future together.

 

Apart from the great sex, my lover makes me laugh, is kind, romantic, dependable and supportive. However, he is also a bit of a worrier and tends to over analyse things which can be annoying at times. He is enthusiastic for life, which is similar to me and we both love to do silly, fun things.

 

My bf is not very enthusiastic and I find it hard to come up with ideas and activities we can do together(never a problem with my lover) and he is quite clingy(which is understandable) which can sometimes suffocate me.

 

Please help me!!!!