I called 411 to get his #

[Scotch]

I work with a guy that I am interested in. There was something there. We have gone to lunch a few times. We have talked about going out after work. He has my number and has called but did not leave message (cell phone). He asked me what I was doing on the fourth of July. We were both undecided. He said he would call me. That was the night before the fourth. I went home and had a couple of drinks and thought that it would be nice to know if we were doing something before the fourth. I called 411 got his number called him and it was a disaster. I think he hates me but I am kind of pissed to because I talk to him via email all day most of the times and it is not like he doesnt know me or I was rude but he was rude. He asked me if I was drunk and I wasnt drunk but I was buzzed. Anywyas, i know that I will just leave him alone and avoid like the plague but do not understand why he would be so rude if he said he wanted to do something, he has asked me out to lunch, he is the one who said we should do something else...anways, any info appreciated!!

[Owl]

Based on what you've written, his behaviour was totally unreasonable. No one responds to a simple phone call from someone they know well by blowing up like that. Either a) he's totally insane, or b) there are factors involved you're not aware of. I'll put my money on (b), because if he was just plain nutty you would probably have noticed some time ago.

 

You mentioned you know him from work, but how well do you know him? Are you sure he's not married or involved in a live-in relationship? That would handily explain his reluctance to give you his number, as well as his extreme reaction to your unexpected phone call. He could have reacted angrily out of fear of discovery, or he could have assumed incorrectly that you KNEW he was already involved, and was pissed that you were pursuing him anyway, however innocently (sometimes people just assume these sorts of things are common knowledge). That might be why he asked if you were drunk.

 

I'm not guaranteeing that's what's happening, of course -- what I've written is a worst-case scenario. Still, you asked for ideas and those are the only two that jump out at me. Like I said, his behaviour doesn't make sense, so assuming you've told everything in your post there must be more you don't know.

[Tony T]

Well, I'll put it to you very straightforward: If he was really fond of you, he would have been excited about your call.

 

With that out of the way, you just never know. He could be married, he could be living with a girlfriend, or he could have been upset that you called without him giving you his number. You may have pushed one of his buttons. You may have interupted one of his favorite TV shows. He may just be a very moody sort of person and you didn't know it. Sometimes people are different at home than they are at work. Who knows and who cares. He was rude and that's simply not acceptable.

 

No matter what, it really doesn't sound like this is a guy you want to have much to do with. A man who gets pissed because a lady has called him, even if she is a little tipsy, has got problems. If it takes such a little thing as that to set him off...you really want to stay far away from him.

 

You were very wrong to call him and put him on the spot as you did. He was very wrong and lacked tact in being rude to you. He could have said he was busy and that he would get back with you.

 

So you were both wrong...but he was MORE wrong. He was wrong and rude.

 

You can call me anytime you like.

[sparkle]

I have no clue what happened here. You said,

 

"I called 411 got his number called him and it was a disaster. I think he hates me"

 

I think you left out some major details in between. Like what happened AFTER you got his number and called him and BEFORE he started hating you?

 

I'm still trying to figure out what was said.