Asking out, still taken

[CShireman81]

I'm going to lunch or dinner with a girl that I'm friends with but attracted to tomorrow. I really like her and I'm sure she likes me too. We're both taken but I want to know, if we start to get close, how far is too far?

[Oh really, now...]

This will seem like the obvious answer, but it depends on what both of your SOs feel on the matter of you having amorous relations with others. I have been with people who didn't mind it at all, and it was fine; I would never, however, endorse or engage in cheating. Also, make *extra* sure you know the truth of the matter. That means hearing it straight from her SO's mouth, if possible.

[AlmostMarried77]

IMHO Given your feelings for her I would say that actually going for the lunch (or dinner) is too far

[glittergurl]

IMHO Given your feelings for her I would say that actually going for the lunch (or dinner) is too far

 

Exactly. I feel sorry for your girlfriend.

[slubberdegullion]

donning flame-proof briefs

 

I don't necessarily see anything wrong with it, with two caveats:

1. When you say you're "attached," does that mean you're already involved in an exclusive relationship that you'd like to keep?;
   
2. Same with her. How is she attached?

If you're both involved in exclusive relationships, then it's still OK, IMHO, to enjoy a lunch or dinner together provided that both you and she are on the same "I'm attached and cannot pursue a relationship with you" page.

 

If, however, you're still exclusive but are looking for a little extracurricular activity, well, then you're both setting yourselves up for trouble.

[d'Arthez]

Given your other thread, it is not hard to imagine why your girlfriend has a lot of issues with you talking to people of the opposite sex. Behaviors like this, even if no wrong is intended, do not contribute to erase the insecurity your gf has about the matter.

 

Cause and effect are hard to disentangle, I admit to that. But I would not exclude the possibility that your gf is reacting to the way you are approaching the relationship you have with her.

 

How far is too far? This is too far. As it clearly does have a negative impact on your relationship with your girlfriend. Unfair? Perhaps. If you are unwilling / unable to address the issues in your relationship first, I do not see the point why you are in that relationship.

And if you are willing and able to address the issues in your relationship, you would do that, and not wonder about questions like this.

[glittergurl]

Given your other thread' date=' it is not hard to imagine why your girlfriend has a lot of issues with you talking to people of the opposite sex. Behaviors like this, even if no wrong is intended, do not contribute to erase the insecurity your gf has about the matter.[/quote']

 

OMG, you're right! I didn't realize it's the same guy who complains about his girlfriend being jealouse and insecure. Figures

[noclobber]

I'm going to lunch or dinner with a girl that I'm friends with but attracted to tomorrow. I really like her and I'm sure she likes me too. We're both taken but I want to know, if we start to get close, how far is too far?

 

u say that u r friends with this girl. r u sure that she likes u "that" way? women usually don't date their friends... if u r a friend, u remain as friends! atleast according to me.

[nicki]

Okay now. Be honest. What are your intentions with this "friend?"

 

Would you invite your girlfriend to go along? If not, then I don't think you should go. You might have an ulterior motive.

 

If you do choose to go meet your "friend," how about asking your girlfriend if she wants to join you? Then your girlfriend would feel like she has some control.

 

If she says no and you go, then fill her in later on the details of your lunch. What you ate, talked about, etc....got nothing to hide, right? Show her and maybe she will trust you more...personally, I'd be pissed off at you for even considering it.

 

I think you are playing with fire and setting yourself up for some cheating if you spend time with someone you yourself admit you are "attracted to." Maybe this is a "friend" you just haven't f***ed yet?

 

How you would feel if your girlfriend had lunch with some hot guy that she thinks is attractive?

[Worried7]

Don't even think about it, unless she's okay with it. Don't put her through hell, like my boyfriend is to me right now. Don't be unfaithful. It's NOT the right way to go. If you're going to date someone else, and she isn't okay with that, please take the step of breaking up with her first, or you're going to crush her to pieces by cheating more than you ever could by breaking it off first.

Just a girls view,

Hope I helped

Love,

Worried7

[SueBee3490]

Don't even think about it, unless she's okay with it. Don't put her through hell, like my boyfriend is to me right now. Don't be unfaithful. It's NOT the right way to go. If you're going to date someone else, and she isn't okay with that, please take the step of breaking up with her first, or you're going to crush her to pieces by cheating more than you ever could by breaking it off first.

Just a girls view,

Hope I helped

Love,

Worried7

 

ditto what Worried said. Don't even go there - you are asking for trouble

[mutton]

why are you still even with your girlfriend? If you're already seeing greener pastures, it just shows to me that you're unhappy with your current relationship. It also shows to me that your girlfriend indeed has a reason to be insecure. You need to make a decision. If you're current gf is not enough to make you happy and keep you morally cemented in your relationship, you need to get out before you hurt her feelings. If you want to stay with her, I suggest that you stop seeking a solution for your unhappy relationship with another girl whose relationship is probably just as messed up as yours.

 

Also, it looks to me, judging from your past posts, that your gf will definitely NOT be okay with it.