Help!

[Mare]

Ok, so here is the thing, I dated a guy for like a couple of weeks 1 1/2 years ago, we were not serious, I was 14, (he was my first BF) he was 16. Well he cheated on me and I dumped him. It just killed me. He tried to get meback for like a long time, finally he moved on and so did I. Well this past summer we started talking again, hanging out etc. BUT he now has a girlfriend. I met her once. She grabbed onto his arm and clung like velcro! She does not like me to much. Well, we talk alot, almost everynite. We tex back and forth and flirt etc. We hang occassionally. When we are alone, I can feel the attraction, but because of her, I won't do anything. I won't be that girl. He has my name in his cell phone under a different name so she won't know its my number.

 

He asks me all the time where I go, who I am with, etc. He is so fun to talk with. We have a blast. I still really like him, and don't know what to do. I thought we could just be friends, but I don't know if I can do this anymore. He just is perfect. But she is still around.

 

what is he doing? why does he call me all the time? He told me once he stillhas strong feelings for me and that we shouldnt talk so much, I said fine, ok, it hurt but what could I do? then he kept on calling and texing me.

 

Now when we talk, we never even mention her. What is going on? I don't understand.

 

Oh, I don't sit around and wait for him either, I go out with my friends and do my thing all the time. So ya, what is he doing? Why is he acting jelous if I talk to other guys? even his brother! What is happening here?

[glittergurl]

Well, you should tell him that if he wants to keep calling you like he does, he's gonna have to do something about that girlfriend (and I mean, dump her), because it's not fair to both you and her. He's being pretty selfish by trying to have both, and this can't go on forever.

 

If he doesn't want to be with her, then this needs to be straightened.

 

If he does want to stay with her, then he has no right to call you like he does and tell you he still has feelings.

 

Tell your dude he needs to make a choice; and yes, that's an ultimatum.

[Mare]

I get what you are saying. But why is he doing this? I dont get guys at all.

[slubberdegullion]

He's not married engaged or anything. He's a free man, taking advantage of his freedom. He'd like to date you both. GG says that the fellow needs to make a choice between you and her; from a female viewpoint, that's a perfectly rational thing to do. But he just doesn't seem to be interested in monogamy (or monotony).

 

So, if you're interested, it looks like you'll have to share. And so will she.

[Mare]

ok, I see that. I guess. But why did he ask my friend if I was still a virgin? (she saw him one night at a party and they talked about me for a while, I was on a date) For some reason, that really matters to him. ( I still am, I'm 16). It drives him nuts if I am hanging with other guys, but I KNOW he is having sex with his girlfriend, and he was not her first, so why does it matter to him that I am still one? I mean if he wants or needs to date around, why does it bug him if I am just HANGING with other guys, I am not messing around with them, we just hang out. It seems as soon as he hears someone else is interested in me, BAM, he is on the phone. I am not dating him at all, we just talk on the phone and tex alot. We see each other very little. We go to different schools (she goes to his school) and we both have jobs, and I am not going to sit around and wait for him. If he calls and I am home fine, if not oh well.

 

So what the heck.

[glittergurl]

ok, I see that. I guess. But why did he ask my friend if I was still a virgin? (she saw him one night at a party and they talked about me for a while, I was on a date) For some reason, that really matters to him. ( I still am, I'm 16). It drives him nuts if I am hanging with other guys, but I KNOW he is having sex with his girlfriend, and he was not her first, so why does it matter to him that I am still one?

 

I think you know the answer to that already.

[downcydeguy]

Any older guy will tell you exactly the same thing that I'm gonna tell you. (I'm 27) When I was 16, all I could think of was sex. And when you get the opportunity to sleep with a virgin, it's like you just won the biggest prize a guy could get. Your "friend" is acting like every other teen male out there. The "little guy" is doing all the thinking. I think you should have sex when YOU are completely in love with somebody - when YOU are ready. This guy will have sex with a wet sock right now if he has to!

[Mare]

Ok, so here is where I am at. I get that he is not ready to have a relationship-relaitionship, I feel deep down, we will be together someday, but right now I am not ready for the sex thing at all. I really like him ALOT, he is always there when I need him, BUT I did alot of thinking, there are always girls after him, there always has been and I know that. But I always said no to the sex stuff. He never pushed me at all, he has always been ok with it when I said no. We have snuggled and watched movies, made out, but that is it.

 

 

Last week when the 'check oil' light came on in my car, I couldnt get ahold of my dad and I called him, he was right there in like 20 minutes. Another time, I was out with some friends and they met up with these guys and went to a party with them, I would have been seriously grounded had I gone to that end of town, with guys we just met, so I called him and he came and got me and brought me home, when my horse was hurt last summer, I was so sad, he was there everynite with me, just sitting in the barn with me while I sat there. He helped me take care of her. He is always protective of me. I kind of like that. He always, always treats me nice, most guys try to get up your shirt or what ever, then when you say no, they act different. But he never gets wierd about that at all. He tried a few times, but now he doesnt, he teases me about it sometimes. But with him, I feel safe. When I am with him I can not only be totally myself, but I know I can trust him. We have fun. We laugh and talk and just have fun. I love how I feel when we are together, BUT I won't mess with him as long as there is another girl.

 

If he likes me sooo much like he says, why is she still around? I think it is because he is getting sex. BUT, he could like her too and I could be the idiot.

 

Do you think he really likes me?