Is this friendship changing to something more serious?

[OneAmante]

I have this friend that I have been friends with for 3 years now. For about the last 11 months now him and I would get together all the time. We used to work together until about a month ago so our contact for a long time was via work but not limited to that. We spend many hours on the phone and or he would come over to my place & we would eat dinner & then watch TV or something. Our get togethers are at least 3 times a week minimum.

 

Back in Feb. of this year I told him I had feelings for him and wanted to become more than just friends. He was flattered that I liked him that way but he was not comfortable with a work relationship (in many ways I was his boss so I think that was a major issue). Also that he valued our friendship dearly and didn't want to do anything to jepordize that in anyway. Well back in September I put in my resignation at the company we both work at and I have since left that position. Since my departure of the work place him and I still have the same close relationship. Lately I have noticed a change in him. The way he acts around me has been different. First thing is on many occasions he has commented on the fact that if anyone was to see us together, no one could say we were fratinizing anymore since I no longer work there. I used to be the one that called him to chat on most occasions & now he will call me out of the blue. If we go more than a day with out any contact he will call me as he say's to just see what I am up too. When we get together at my place he makes him self at home which is great. My problem is I don't know if I am over anylizing this because I still have great feelings for him or if maybe he really is showing signs he is interested. We have so much in common and we spend a great deal of time together & also when we are not physically present we talk always. I don't know if now that we don't work together if I should re-approach the idea or if I just should leave it. I don't want to do anything that will put our friendship at risk and I feel that if I do this could be a risk. My other thought was to just keep going the way we are and just let things come naturally if they are to come to that point. What do you guys think? Any suggestions?

[yngv]

This may seem quick-to-judge, but... are you sure he's not gay? Sounds like you two have great chemistry, lots in common -- seems to me the average guy would have made a move by now.

[OneAmante]

yngv;

In responce to your comment of maybe he is gay (not that you can tell) I don't believe that is the case. There are some issues I think maybe holding him back.

 

1. I am a single parent (divorced 7 yrs) of 3 children Ages 16,15 & almost 12.

So, due to the children we are never alone.

 

2. He himself had a son who passed away(5 years ago). So, I also feel that due to the death of his son he is hesitant to get involved again. The mother of his son really hurt him after their son passed. Her way of dealing with the death was to go to a party one night with him. And while he stepped out to get something from the store proceed to pull a train with 15 different guys & him walk in on it.

 

I think most of our problem is timing and on both ends hesitant to take the chance of getting hurt when letting someone in. So I am not quite sure, other than I can say I have never trusted anyone like I trust him, nor have I ever let anyone as close to me as I have let him get. My feelings for him are feelings I have never felt for anyone.