Cheated, Lied and Played two fields - months later, still not come clean!

[SMHappyface]

Wow, a lot can happen in a few weeks. For all of you that have read my previous posts of working through feeling responsible for my fiance leaving and stuff, I finally found the answers this weekend. After weeks of trying to get in touch with my ex fiance's best friend's wife (who we are friends, but I don't have her phone # and it's unlisted) I finally got her e-mail and contacted her. She called immediately and my ex's best friend got on the line and wanted to talk to me "What is your side of the story?" he said "I've only heard C's side and things don't add up!" I told him and through the course of the conversation, found out that C (my ex fiance) had been sleeping with the girl whose my jealousy towards had made him dump me. Not only sleeping with her afterwards, but well before. The sick part is that he still fooled around with me off and on for the past week, and has been telling me that he just needs space, but it's not totally off, and telling her it's totally over. Basically playing both sides. She's so very ugly, but she has a huge divorce settlement which she lavishes on C and of course all the "bad" sex. C still hasn't become clean about this and called his best friend and accused him of not being loyal to him because he didn't agree with him. The phone call ended with C saying F*** U to M (the best friend) and hanging up.

 

For those who would like to know a bit of background for this greek tragedy, There is C's dad who is dating N - she's still married to Y who lives in the same house whose sleeping with C. Basically dad and son are f***ing mother and daughter and mother is still married to daughter's dad. EEEWww!! (Great line for a Jerry Springer show, eh?) I got really jealous over it because my gut told me something was wrong. I refused to believe it, but it was true. I guess thats to say ALWAYS trust your gut - it's right 99% of the time.

 

Not much more to say but that my ex is spreading rumors about me to prove he had good reason to do what he's doing. Still he hasn't broken up with me, but I'm sure he realizes I'm catching on - even if it's weeks too late. I'm scared him fooling around with her made me get something.

 

Not asking for advice, just prayers - It hurts so bad.

[Sloppy]

OMG!

I hope you stay out of that from now on.

I can't offer a prayer, but I will keep you in my thoughts.

[mini696]

What an a**h***... Sorry no advice, I hope you find someone worthy of your love soon.

[SMHappyface]

I am in a very dark place - I can't stand to be alone otherwise my mind tortures me, I can't stand to sleep, otherwise my dreams haunt me. Every waking hour things remind me of him. Other than the awful betrayal and deception, our relationship was very much like a fairy-tale. I miss that guy - It's almost like he died and his evil twin took his spot. I don't even know this new guy, but my heart aches. My mind flashes in vivid detail them having sex and him spilling ALL our secrets to that cunt. The only solace I can find is that he usta have something to brag about - telling his buddies he was dating a blonde with a 26 inch waist and bla bla bla and now he's left with an ugly girl who really resembles Rosy O'Donell, (sick joke I know) and is larger than him (he weighs 240 lbs). Everybody is telling me I can do better, but it doesn't make the pain go away. Any ideas on how to cope?

[Mz. Pixie]

Being happy is the best revenge.......

 

It doesn't really matter what she looks like- I mean yeah, it's funny as hell and can give you a boost but this is really about him, something that is screwed up in him that she meets. For instance, you mentioned BAD sex?? What if he's actually into like S&M and she does that for him??

 

Let her have him. You can obviously do better sweetie!

[Tristram]

Everybody is telling me I can do better, but it doesn't make the pain go away. Any ideas on how to cope?

 

I can tell you that you should not dwell on it. I know it is hard not to, but you have to try. And seeing as the way he presented himself to you was a lie. You should have no further contact with him, why let him hurt you any more then he already has. Basically the guy you fell for isnt him. Forget about all of it and stop causing yourself more grief over it. Start doing things you like and enjoy your life. Eventually someone worthy will come along, dont worry about it.

[SMHappyface]

Thanks for all your advice guys - he called last night and yelled at me, somehow after that, I had peace. I slept great last night (thanks to Tylenol PM) and haven't cried much today. I have even wanted to eat! This relationship is showing up so many holes, and it definately wasn't meant to be. I don't intend to call or contact him in any way, and plan to move out of the area ASAP and start a new life somewhere (something I could not do with him). He said he wants to stay friends, but I told him that I'm only friends with honest people. I hope he's happy with his new girlfriend and I will work on finding myself and creating the life I WANTED for myself.

[SMHappyface]

Oh yeah, she wasn't the first - this has been going on for almost a year with ex's, random girls, and probably even those down where he works. I don't know everything, but I'm sure if it was at least two there was more. Dang, I am so glad I'm out - talk about the feeling of being saved from something dissaterous!

[Tristram]

That is good, keep . All the best to you, and dont let the bastard wear you down.

[SMHappyface]

My mom is a "student" at the Karate class my ex-fiance's dad and him teach. She told me there is no reason for her NOT to continue going. Anyways, last night was the first time she had seen him since him calling me Sunday. She said he was using a lot more vulgar language, but didn't talk to her or attempt to in any way. Seems like he's gone 100% cold over the whole situation. So hard to see when just over a month ago, he was like a great big teddy bear and so very affectionate!

[Mz. Pixie]

Have you been tested for std's??

[SMHappyface]

Nope, I'm going with a gf soon, I sure hope I'm ok.

[suzy]

I hope your ok 2 babe,

God, you really are best out of this one! he sounds like a complete a..hole. As you say that is totally the stuff of greak tragedies, I cant even get my head around all that stuff going on! If you want to get over him fast, dont allow yourself to romantisise about the good times, in any case the good times were with your edited version of who he was, not with the actual s.o.b. that he appears to be. You sound like a lovely person who is far more emotionaly intelligent than he is. He will kick himself for this one day in the not too distant future and I hope that you -on the other hand-will be glad he is out of your life and hooked up with a guy who actually deserves you.

You are in my prayers x