How do I know my therapist is right for me?

[kpa]

So after feeling depressed for quite a while I decided I needed some help.

 

I went through a service my employer offered [confidential] that allowed me a few free sessions with a therapist. One was quite arbitrarily assigned based on where I lived.

 

My initial session was pretty much him confirming what I already knew – I needed some medication first. He sent me to a psychiatrist who prescribed me some anti-depressants.

 

I then had another session with him but we both decided there really wasn’t much to talk about at that point, I more needed to let the medicine start working first.

 

It did help, it allowed me to get back on my feet. I was able to start working out again. I lost the weight I had gained. Restored some of my self-confidence.

 

All was going well, well enough that I had the courage to do something I’ve not done in a long while – I met a girl I like and I asked her out.

 

Things went REALLY well at first, then they ended not so good:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t74059/

 

It was short but intense, I feel that I pretty much sabotaged this relationship with my insecure behavior.

 

Anyways, I went back to my therapist due to this episode. I now feel that I want to do some therapy long term and actually work on some of my issues. I wasn’t ready before, I think I am now.

 

My question is – how do I know my therapist is the best choice for me? I’ve no way of knowing. I can’t say that I’m very comfortable with him yet – although that would probably be the same with anyone.

 

I think due to some of the things I want to talk about I might be more comfortable with a female therapist. Do you think the gender of the therapist is important?

 

Should I bring this up? Should I give it a chance until I have reason to believe otherwise?

 

I think initially we are going to focus on some repeating patterns in my relationship attempts. But I want to get into some deeper stuff as well.

 

My “free” sessions are over, so now I’m switching to my regular insurance.

 

Any thoughts?

 

Thanks for listening.

[Outcast]

I don't think a female therapist would be better or worse than a male one. If you like this person, the treatment you've gotten so far, and the treatment plan that's been set out for you, then it sounds like you have already found a good therapist. By all means discuss with him your thoughts about a female therapist; he may put you at ease about discussing whatever it is you wish to discuss.

[kpa]

I don't necessarily think a female therapist would be better than a male one -- more that it would be easier for me to open up to a female one.

 

Maybe I'll be able to open up to my current one with a little time.

 

It's just the thought of opening up so much to anyone is difficult. I guess this is normal?

[Outcast]

Yep. That's one reason a lot of people avoid getting therapy. However you'll get used to it and find it a relief after a while.