Help!!!

[needadecision]

This is a real set of events. We are real people. This is NOT a joke. Each person feels that the other person has acted more disgracefully than the other. We need a "jury" so we can quit arguing about it.

 

Please read the rest of the message, select one of the choices below it, and reply here if possible, or by email to <e-mail address removed>. Give the number of your choice of answer (1,2,3,4, or 5), and any short comments you choose to give, if any.

 

Thanks for your help!

 

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Two people are in a relationship. It is assumed to be monogamous, both physically and romantically.

 

1) Person one placed an ad on a popular matchmaking web site.

 

2) Person two became aware of the ad by accidentally finding a file on the computer while cleaning up junk files caused by a badly written program. Each file had to be checked to see if it was garbage, or was a needed file. The file contained an address for the ad, with a similar name to the one used in a similar ad by person one a long time ago.

 

3) Person two waited a while to see if person one would mention the ad. Person one did not mention the ad, so person two placed a monitor program on the computer that traced the activity of person one on the web. It found no evidence of romantic or sexual activity by person one over a few weeks.

 

4) After a few weeks, person two raised the subject with person one, and the explanation was given that "I was angry, so I placed the ad. It didn't matter anyway, because I got no replies."

 

5) The monitor program was left on the computer for a while longer, rarely remembered, but not removed, until it was discovered by person one, who now is angry that it wasn't immediately removed after the discussion.

 

Your decision choices - please pick ONE:

 

1) Person one screwed up big time.

 

2) Person one screwed up, but person two is no angel.

 

3) Quit squabbling and get back to loving, you are equally screwed up.

 

4) Person two screwed up, but person one is no angel.

 

5) Person two screwed up big time.

 

Reply by email to <e-mail address removed> or here if that's not possible.

[dolphin]

6)Person one screwed up bigtime and person two needs to find a new person that will communicate with you versus put an add in the personals to get even!

This is a real set of events. We are real people. This is NOT a joke. Each person feels that the other person has acted more disgracefully than the other. We need a "jury" so we can quit arguing about it. Please read the rest of the message, select one of the choices below it, and reply here if possible, or by email to <e-mail address removed>. Give the number of your choice of answer (1,2,3,4, or 5), and any short comments you choose to give, if any. Thanks for your help! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Two people are in a relationship. It is assumed to be monogamous, both physically and romantically.

 

1) Person one placed an ad on a popular matchmaking web site. 2) Person two became aware of the ad by accidentally finding a file on the computer while cleaning up junk files caused by a badly written program. Each file had to be checked to see if it was garbage, or was a needed file. The file contained an address for the ad, with a similar name to the one used in a similar ad by person one a long time ago.

 

3) Person two waited a while to see if person one would mention the ad. Person one did not mention the ad, so person two placed a monitor program on the computer that traced the activity of person one on the web. It found no evidence of romantic or sexual activity by person one over a few weeks.

 

4) After a few weeks, person two raised the subject with person one, and the explanation was given that "I was angry, so I placed the ad. It didn't matter anyway, because I got no replies." 5) The monitor program was left on the computer for a while longer, rarely remembered, but not removed, until it was discovered by person one, who now is angry that it wasn't immediately removed after the discussion. Your decision choices - please pick ONE:

 

1) Person one screwed up big time. 2) Person one screwed up, but person two is no angel. 3) Quit squabbling and get back to loving, you are equally screwed up. 4) Person two screwed up, but person one is no angel. 5) Person two screwed up big time. Reply by email to <e-mail address removed> or here if that's not possible.

[sparkle]

All of the above.

 

p.s. (But person two shouldn't have gone so far as the monitor program. That shows a lack of trust. If person two doesn't trust person one and has to use a program to figure it out, then person two shouldn't be with person one in the first place. Relationships without trust fall apart very quickly anyway.)

 

p.s.s. (I wish all posts asking for advice were as simple and clear as this!!!)

[Laurynn]

6) Person ONE is immature and needs to grow up and learn to deal with problems in a relationship "maturely" and "respectfully" rather than getting "angry" and seeking revenge by doing something so stupid as placing a Personals Ad online. What the hell does that prove? What's next....the couple has a fight and person ONE decides to go out and sleep with someone else "cuz they were angry"?

 

I don't blame person TWO at all, for having monitored person ONE's actions. When you find out the person you love/the person you're in a relationship with is surfing the net, placing a Personal Ad, that changes everything, and you have a right to get to the truth......If Person ONE wouldn't have been such a tit, Person TWO wouldn't have had to 'get to the truth.'

 

And so what, that Person TWO didn't uninstall/remove the Monitoring program even "after" the discussion. Big deal. Like I said, they wouldn't have done it to begin with had person ONE NOT placed a personal ad and potentially jeopardized the relationship. Person ONE has balls to say "oh well I didn't get any responses anyway"...SO? What if they had? That might have changed the situation dramatically.

 

Person ONE and TWO need to take a good hard look at their relationship.......trust has been broken, all because of Person ONE. This relationship needs to be re-evaluated, the lines of communication opened, a real heart to heart needs to take place........

 

Laurynn