confused _one Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 If a mother hits her kid is it abuse, across the face Im 17 and my mom just hit me and I dont know what to think other than have been crying my eyes out. And my dad doesnt even care about me:'( Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 Abuse is usually a cycle of violence. While I'm certainly not defending what your mum just did, it's hard to make a case for abuse without a history. It also may somewhat depend what was done to deserve the smack. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 It also may somewhat depend what was done to deserve the smack. Nobody 'deserves' to be hit, especially across the face. Is this the first time she's hit you? Did she punch you or slap you? Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Self defence? Threat of violence or intimidation? We don't know all the details. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused _one Posted November 15, 2005 Author Share Posted November 15, 2005 hard slap across the face, she just got angry because my bf doesnt like her becayse she doesnt stop the guyz that try to come into my bedroom, and pick my lock when im sleeping, Hes sick of it. and doesnt like her for not stopping the drunk guyz that come over Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused _one Posted November 15, 2005 Author Share Posted November 15, 2005 Its sexual assalt ive been dealing with at my house and my bf hates it because my 19 year old sister and mom go out to the bar and end up at our house with them, and yeah.. Thats why he hates her for not stoping them. Last time the cops showed up Link to post Share on other sites
bunnzy Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 First off its 'guys' not 'guyz' Across the face is especially bad though. We need more details confused. Is there a bruise? What was said? Who is it that is picking your lock, and what did your boyfriend say to your mum? Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 I don't really understand this post but you're a minor and if you're misbehaving and disrespectful then your mother has every right to slap you across the face. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Nobody should be hit above the neck, period. In fact if people are abusing this person and she 'talks back' I think just maybe she has a right to talk back, don't you? How's about waiting for the rest of the story before judging? Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Sigh....Not judging. Just answering the question. No, it's not abuse. Above the neck, below the neck...not abuse. And yes, that's MY opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
fudgit Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 The location of the hit is irrelevent. Some will say parents do or don't have the right. I told my mom to go to hell once when I was 16. She pushed me into the bathtub and ripped the towel rack off the wall so that she had something to hit me with. It's the only time she hit me and she hit me hard but looking back, I deserved it! I'm glad she stood up to me and didn't let me push her around. I don't think what my mother did was "abuse". She'd just had enough of my teen bs and let me know it the only way she could because I was too self important to listen when she tried to work things out with me. It sounds to me like your mom slapped your face for a reason. And the fact that you're shocked and asking about it tells me that it doesn't happen all the time. So, WHAT DID YOU DO TO DESERVE IT? I wonder if maybe you're not focusing on the real issue. And I wonder if this post is just you feeling sorry for yourself because you didn't get your way. It's easier to get attention from people in a forum than to suck it up and fix your life. No offense. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 NOBODY 'deserves' to be hit with a towel bar. That's so screwed up, it's hardly imaginable. Your mother could have chosen any number of ways to discipline you that didn't involve losing it that way. All you did was tell her to go to hell, for heaven's sakes! I feel very very sorry for people who think that a minor infraction like that 'earns' violent reaction. THAT IMHO is the reason society is screwed up - that people think violence is a perfectly acceptable response to issues. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 My mother hit my sister across the face ONCE in her entire life. My sister, who was supposed to be watching my then-toddler-aged brother, allowed him to wander off and fall into a swimming pool. The only reason he is alive today is because a neighbor saw it happen and saved him. When my mother found out, she screamed at my sister. My sister screamed back defensively and told me mother to stop 'bitching' at her. My mother kerwalloped her across the face. Was it the proper mode of discipline? No. Was it justifiable? Yes. Think of your baby son almost drowning because your sullen, teen daughter decides to neglect him. What disturbs me is that kids can now call CPS and say their parents hit them and get removed from the house immediately. While I DON'T CONDONE ABUSE......I do think the system is also being abused. To the OP: I don't know why your mom hit you. I don't know the circumstances. Certainly, it is wrong to hit other people. And if it continues to happen, then maybe you have an abuse case on your hands. If this is an isolated incident, I'd try to talk to your mom when she's calm and see if you can work things out rationally. You are almost an adult, not a child. Try to think things through logically and see if you can find out what drove her to this behavior. If you really truly in your heart of hearts believe you are being abused, talk to guidance counselor at school about it. Just posting here is not going to give you all the answers Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 NOBODY 'deserves' to be hit with a towel bar. That's so screwed up, it's hardly imaginable. Your mother could have chosen any number of ways to discipline you that didn't involve losing it that way. All you did was tell her to go to hell, for heaven's sakes! I feel very very sorry for people who think that a minor infraction like that 'earns' violent reaction. THAT IMHO is the reason society is screwed up - that people think violence is a perfectly acceptable response to issues. No can't blame the parents for trying to disciplining the child she said she deserved it and she knows she shouldn't have said what she did !! That is disrespect to her mother and she needed a wake up call don't agree with her beating her with the towel rack she could have went a different route but maybe she had had it !! Don't know till you are in this situation!!My mom smacked me in the mouth one time because i was back talking i never did it again !! She didn't smack hard it was more like a pop enough to know i better not do that again.. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Its sexual assalt ive been dealing with at my house and my bf hates it because my 19 year old sister and mom go out to the bar and end up at our house with them, and yeah.. Thats why he hates her for not stoping them. Last time the cops showed up i do not agree how she is acting not setting a example for you or your sister!! As for the men coming in your room your mother shouldn't be letting that happen for that matter bringing strange men home she barely even knows !! Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 I don't really understand this post but you're a minor and if you're misbehaving and disrespectful then your mother has every right to slap you across the face. That's bulls***. So... what if my MOTHER is misbehaving? Does that mean I have the *right* to smack her across the face as well? Is it *okay* for my Dad to hit my mother when he is pissed off at her - or vice versa? See where I'm going with this? Hitting is WRONG. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 No can't blame the parents for trying to disciplining the child she said she deserved it and she knows she shouldn't have said what she did !! That is disrespect to her mother and she needed a wake up call don't agree with her beating her with the towel rack she could have went a different route but maybe she had had it !! Don't know till you are in this situation!!My mom smacked me in the mouth one time because i was back talking i never did it again !! She didn't smack hard it was more like a pop enough to know i better not do that again.. I agree with Outcast taht nobody deserves to be hit with a towel bar.. I remember when I was 17 I had a show motorcycle in the world of wheels in Atlanta and he let me borrow his car to go set up the display and I had his car 3 hours too long.. Well when i walked in the door my dad screamed and yelled at me then punched me square in the face.. I hit the floor.. Did I deserve it .. NO !! Should he have used a different disipline ? YES. Was it abusive ?? YES Here I am 25 years later still talking about it.. This was the only time my dad acted in a physically abusing way toward me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 NOBODY 'deserves' to be hit with a towel bar. That's so screwed up, it's hardly imaginable. Your mother could have chosen any number of ways to discipline you that didn't involve losing it that way. All you did was tell her to go to hell, for heaven's sakes! I feel very very sorry for people who think that a minor infraction like that 'earns' violent reaction. THAT IMHO is the reason society is screwed up - that people think violence is a perfectly acceptable response to issues. "ALL" she did was tell her mother to go to hell? A minor infraction? Jeezzzz! Yeah, society IS screwed with THAT kind of thinking. No wonder the kids in France are going nuts and rioting and burning buildings! Apparently corporal punishment for kids is against the law over there! NO respect for authority. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 That's bulls***. So... what if my MOTHER is misbehaving? Does that mean I have the *right* to smack her across the face as well? Is it *okay* for my Dad to hit my mother when he is pissed off at her - or vice versa? See where I'm going with this? Hitting is WRONG. Period. NO, of course I don't see where you're going with your flawed thinking. You're equating those other relationships as being the same as a parent/child relationship and they're NOT. Mom and Dad are EQUALS! Parent and child are NOT! Man, I don't believe this! Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 No wonder the kids in France are going nuts and rioting and burning buildings! Apparently corporal punishment for kids is against the law over there! NO respect for authority. Now that's about the most narrow-minded and ignorant explanation for the riots in France... better dig deeper than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Uh...HELLO? The PARENT'S of some of the riotors themselves are the ones who offered that up as an explanation for this out of control behaviour. They said since they're not allowed to use corporal punishment when boundaries are crossed, the children have no respect for authority. And they're not surprised that this is taking place. Link to post Share on other sites
fudgit Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 I'm not saying that anyone DESERVES to be hit. I'm saying that the reason people act out violently is because they aren't using communication skills effectively. No, this girl doesn't deserve to be hit but she might want to recognize the reason that it happened and work on that issue instead of fixating on wether or not this is labelled abuse. In my case, I was a cocky teen and I pushed my mom too far when she was trying to communicate with me. She lost it. We are human and sometimes we don't do the right thing. Move past that and figure out a way to ensure that it doesn't happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 NO, of course I don't see where you're going with your flawed thinking. You're equating those other relationships as being the same as a parent/child relationship and they're NOT. Mom and Dad are EQUALS! Parent and child are NOT! Man, I don't believe this! Flawed thinking... hmmm... Little Billy sees Daddy hitting Mommy because he didn't like the fact that Mommy decided everyone would have TV dinners and he thinks "hmmm... guess it's okay to do that." Little Billy gets hit by his Mommy over failing a maths quiz and he thinks "hmmm... guess it's okay to do that to my kids when they fail at something." Little Billy sees his Daddy get hit by his Mommy because Daddy came home late from work and forced poor Mommy to eat alone and he thinks "hmmm... guess I better expect an occasional smack or two from my wife if I dare not be perfect." Gee, Little Billy thought, I was always told never to hit because hitting isn't nice. I guess all those people are wrong about that... Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Uh...HELLO? The PARENT'S of some of the riotors themselves are the ones who offered that up as an explanation for this out of control behaviour. They said since they're not allowed to use corporal punishment when boundaries are crossed, the children have no respect for authority. And they're not surprised that this is taking place. Where did you dig that tidbit up from... Fux (whoops, Fox!) news? It wouldn't surprise me if some jackass from there came up with that garbage... right-wing p****s. So I suppose we should expect rioting and civil disorder within the US states that have outlawed corporal punishment, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Flawed thinking... hmmm... Little Billy sees Daddy hitting Mommy because he didn't like the fact that Mommy decided everyone would have TV dinners and he thinks "hmmm... guess it's okay to do that." Little Billy gets hit by his Mommy over failing a maths quiz and he thinks "hmmm... guess it's okay to do that to my kids when they fail at something." Little Billy sees his Daddy get hit by his Mommy because Daddy came home late from work and forced poor Mommy to eat alone and he thinks "hmmm... guess I better expect an occasional smack or two from my wife if I dare not be perfect." Gee, Little Billy thought, I was always told never to hit because hitting isn't nice. I guess all those people are wrong about that... Use your head. I will say it again. It isn't right for 2 adults...ADULTS who are EQUALS to hit each other. But it IS alright to discipline your child. I'm sorry but you don't make sense with this argument. It's NOT the same thing? How can you NOT see that? My child knows NOT to hit people. My husband and I don't hit each other. I'm sorry you don't see the difference. I really am but there IS a difference. Link to post Share on other sites
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