It's messed up - but can I start again?

[Peachie]

Wow - well I don't really know how to start this post - infact I wasn't even sure of where to put it on the Forum...! but I'll try and get down to brass tacks ASAP.

 

Basically - I am a 19 y.o girl in my first year at University - I have been here for about 9 weeks now. I have never had a boyfriend/relationship/done anything much with a guy apart from hug etc - anything like that in my entire life. On the very first night at uni, I met this guy in the bar of my Hall of Residence. He seemed so perfect! And it also was like we were getting on pretty well. We chatted for quite a while and eventually I invited him up to my room just so we could get away from the noise etc (I did NOT mean this in a sexual way, and I'm pretty sure he understood this as well). Basically we just cuddled on the bed (not even kissed!) for a while and then he said he had to go. He asked me for my email address and said that he would email me as soon as I had Internet in my room.

 

Well, it just went downhill from there. I saw him the day after that at the Sports sign-up and he seemed really embarrassed. Finally he did email me (6 days later!) really just blowing me off, telling me that he was really busy this term etc etc Oh btw - at this time I thought he was a 21 y.o 2nd year. Anyway, after I received that email I was totally confused as to why he had changed so much from the first night (and because I really liked him, and he was like the first guy to ever like me back!) I emailed him about 5-7 days later just asking if we could meet up to talk. He never replied, and when I saw him out one night he was really evasive. I tried emailing him again about a week after the first email but again he never got back to me. Eventually I just got so het up about the whole thing that one night I went down to the Student Union (where I knew he would be) and just went and found him to ask him directly.

 

He gave me the same guff that he had in the email, and told me that he had made a "big mistake" on the first night by coming up to my room, and that he "didn't want to sleep around"! I was pretty shocked by this, as neither of us were drunk (he doesn't drink, like me - which at uni is another reason why I was so amazed to meet him!) and I just couldn't comprehend why he would feel he made a "mistake" or that I was some kind of sexual thing (he didn't even try anything on! Not even a kiss!). OK - so that was about 5-6 weeks ago now and I still can't get over him. Get this though, since then I found out that he couldn't possibly be a 2nd year or 21 (due to some info I got from his sports team website) or indeed do the course he said he was studying if that was true. So now I am so confused.

 

I haven't seen him properly for about a month now, but this morning he just happened to be walking down the road as I was going to campus! I was too shell-shocked to do anything but stare at him (I mean, what could I have done?) but he looked at me and then looked at the ground as if he was embarrassed. Anyway - the crux of my post is this - it's seriously messed up, but I can't let him go! We have a Christmas Ball soon and my flatmates had the idea of us all inviting someone. I know it sounds absolutely crazy, but I was thinking of emailing him and just seeing what he thought. I just want to start over with him so badly, I know the whole "can we be friends" thing is complete guff, but at the minute I would consider anything!

 

What should I do? Can I start over - or is the whole thing too messed up? What does it mean when a guy says he "made a mistake"?! Do you think he backed out because he lied to me initially and then didn't want the hassle of having to admit? Please help me, my flatmates keep telling me I should "get over him" but I'm the type of girl who just gets hooked on one guy. There is soooooooooo much more detail I could add to this, but then I know people won't be able to read it and understand it very well.

 

Please please please help me! I feel like I can't talk to anyone else about it as they are so bored of me having this as the single topic of my life at the minute.