Matt_johnson Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 hey im a jealous boyfriend, i just cant help it, i love my girlfriend to bits but even if she speaks to her friends i get jealous, its not that i dont trust her her or anythin, well i hope, but i just cant understand what it is? like i said i love her and she says she loves me but most of her friends are guys and shes quite open to them about things in our relationships and i dunno how or what to thing about this i just think that me getting jealous is tearing me apart and i wish i could stop it. she tells me theres nothing to worry about and that she would never cheat on me but i just cant help thinking that people have said all these things before and and it happens alot. ok i admit i have been cheated on in the past and i would of thought this is plays a part in how im feeling but i think its more than that. i have been with her for nearyl a year now and i love her that much i want to spend the rest of my life with her, but some how i need to get over all th different forms of jealousy i have. i dont want to loose her because of how it gets me down. i love her. Link to post Share on other sites
Tristram Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Is she completly open with you? By telling you where she is or has been, where she is going, and who all was around? Does she tell you everything that was said or done? If no to any of the above then I would be worried. Other wise just try not to think about it and upset yourself. Try and talk to her sometime and see how she feels about it and how she would feel if you were doing the same things she was. Keep in mind a relationship is like a door that swings both ways. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Read this ongoing thread, maybe it will help you... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t75024/ I suggest you learn how to control the jealously by getting some help from a therapist. You have some issues that need to be worked through and dealt with. Maybe it's from past relationships, maybe something from your childhood, but it is dangerous...Jealously at time is normal - But raving jealously that consumes you isn't a good thing. It will ruin the relationship if you don't do something to fix it. Link to post Share on other sites
ZGT1503 Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Hey there, I can't offer any advice on how to stop feeling like that I'm afraid, as I have exactly the same problem and I've been trying to control it for years! Just thought you should know you're not the only one out there that feels like that, even though it's not the best or most healthy way to be in a relationship. Jealousy is a very destructive emotion but it's also one that is very hard to get rid of. I think if you've been cheated on in the past that has something to do with it. Me too... but I was always like that before as well so I don't know where it comes from! All I do to deal with this is try to keep it under control in front of my boyfriend. He knows I can be jealous but he doesn't know the extent of it - for example, he has a lot of female friends as well, and I'm always jealous when he mentions/sees them, but I realise when I tell him this that it sounds ridiculous, as he has never done anything to make me not trust him with them. By the way, what Tristram says is true, that she should be honest and open with everything she's doing and where she's going, but also don't forget this: if she knows you can be jealous, she may sometimes hide things because she doesn't want you to overreact when she knows there's no reason to be jealous. This was always a big problem for me, that my exes didn't tell me when they were meeting female friends for example, because even though it's innocent, I would always overreact and be jealous... So, good luck with it all, and if you find anything that works... let me know! Link to post Share on other sites
suzy Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 Hi , just to let you know I trully do sympathise with the way you feel because I KNOW THAT FEELING OF JEALOUSY WELL! However, I dont agree with Tristram's point of view (Sorry Tristram!), because it is not for your girlfriend to comply with your demands for info on where she has been, who she was with etc, (unless she is displaying some very shady behaviour), it is really your job to get your head straight and stop harassing her! Though I may not sound sympathetic right now, believe me I am. I am telling you completely for your own good though, that you need to own this problem and take control of it, by seeing a therapist and doing a lot of work on yourself. With that determination, you can and will get over this. You sound young, dont let this type of behavior become the norm for you, take action now! The best of luck! Take care x x Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts