Have you been strung along?

[Painwraith]

How many of you have been strung along by your ex and how did you deal with it?

 

It would seem many of us have had this experience, I myself was strung along until my ex found someone new, then dropped me like a sack of spuds, it was awful and a week later today I am still coming to terms with it.

 

For me the awful thing was I let myself do it. I feel like an idiot and cannot see why the hell I was stupid enough to put myself through that.

 

What are your thoughts?

[omegaRED]

Yes, i`ve been strung along by my ex too.

 

There were warning signs, but everytime i noticed something was wrong, and that she should simply tell me if she no longer wants to be with me, she lied. She was a very good actress and a liar. I don`t really blame myself. Sure, some people told me she`s probably cheating on me, but i did not believe she would not tell me before, nor was any way i could confirm it.

 

Chapter closed.

[lindya]

I suppose I have - but I don't think it was a conscious, mean-minded decision on his part to "string me along". More just a combination of confusion about what he wanted (and who he wanted to be), and a higher than average degree of self-centredness and narcissism.

 

Accepting and moving on from the experience of being strung along by someone who's a bit of a twat is a useful life experience. In fact, I wouldn't turn the clock back and stop it happening...because I prefer myself the way I am now to the way I was before I met him. Provided the "strung-along" determines to get some genuine wisdom (as opposed to pure cynicism) from the experience, they'll emerge with a lot more emotional strength than the stringer-along will. Even if it doesn't seem so at the time.

 

I wouldn't contemplate getting back with my ex now. I always had a gut feeling that he was quite a weak person, and I constantly pushed it out of my mind. Now I know I could never really be happy with a guy whose character I didn't truly respect.

 

If this person has strung you along, then that would suggest that he/she is a somewhat weak and vain-minded character. Perhaps not really someone you would want as a life partner. Once you've got through this and feel more positive again, it really won't matter whether or not you got "strung along"...it'll just be another learning experience that has left you better equipped to handle anything else life cares to throw at you.

[ReluctantRomeo]

I suppose I have - but I don't think it was a conscious, mean-minded decision on his part to "string me along". More just a combination of confusion about what he wanted (and who he wanted to be), and a higher than average degree of self-centredness and narcissism.

 

Same with Juliet.

 

I rapidly tired of being strung along. After 15 days of "yes"s, "no"s and "maybe"s, I lost my patience and my temper with her. If I had this again, I would be calmer and more assertive earlier, making her choose all or nothing from the outset and enforcing this with no contact where necessary.

 

I agree with Lindya that someone who strings you along is weak and selfish and therefore a bad choice for life partner. And the experience has been worth it in terms of the experience and wisdom gained. You may not see this now, just after a week, but you will probably feel this way eventually.

[In Sync]

Accepting and moving on from the experience of being strung along by someone who's a bit of a twat is a useful life experience. In fact, I wouldn't turn the clock back and stop it happening...because I prefer myself the way I am now to the way I was before I met him. Provided the "strung-along" determines to get some genuine wisdom (as opposed to pure cynicism) from the experience, they'll emerge with a lot more emotional strength than the stringer-along will. Even if it doesn't seem so at the time.

 

I wouldn't contemplate getting back with my ex now. I always had a gut feeling that he was quite a weak person, and I constantly pushed it out of my mind. Now I know I could never really be happy with a guy whose character I didn't truly respect.

 

If this person has strung you along, then that would suggest that he/she is a somewhat weak and vain-minded character. Perhaps not really someone you would want as a life partner. Once you've got through this and feel more positive again, it really won't matter whether or not you got "strung along"...it'll just be another learning experience that has left you better equipped to handle anything else life cares to throw at you.

 

This is... has been my situation. He was a pure narcissist and re covery fro this has been a learning experience. I've had a hell of a time trying to accept it all. AND it's true when you speak about the character aspect..I too have always thought his character was weak, though he portrayed himself as all-knowing, even calling himself a person of superior intellect . Really! My desperate state of mind kept me at wanting to stay with him ignored the weak character he displayed. From this experience, I have sworn to myself, absolutely no more weak narcissistic behavior in any form be it lover or friends..these are not people I need to surround my precious life with. They bring you down.

The hard truth is I allowed myself to be strung along by his facade of fake-ism: charm, sex, and overpumped bravado. When often he would reveal his pettyness lack of empathy, constantly comparison of people, him being above everyone. It was always there his lack of character but I blindly chose to ignore it.

[lindya]

The hard truth is I allowed myself to be strung along by his facade of fake-ism: charm, sex, and overpumped bravado. When often he would reveal his pettyness lack of empathy, constantly comparison of people, him being above everyone. It was always there his lack of character but I blindly chose to ignore it.

 

I can't tell you not to be hard on yourself about this, because that's just part of working it out of your system. I would say, though, that people of narcissistic inclinations have a lot of superficially charming qualities. The pull with mine was that I was convinced that he brought "magic" into my life - and there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a bit of that. Once it was all over, however, the magic looked a bit more like cheap old Xmas tree tinsel. There were some things I learned from him about not taking life too seriously though..and we had some pretty good times.

 

I know it's hard going, but there will come a point when you realise that your relationship with this guy wasn't a complete waste of time. It was just time limited, and didn't have to potential to be the special thing you hoped for...and neither did he.