933KJL Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I want opinions on if I am way out of line. No emotion in this post--as Sgt. Joe Friday used to say--just the facts ma'am..just the facts: My ex has not spoken to her mother and sister (her only family) for nearly 6 years. They had a couple of letters back and forth and the polite Christmas cards, but that is it. We are divorced now 5 years and have three great kids. Because of her rift, she will not let the kids talk to their cousins, their aunt or uncle (also their godparents), or their grandmother. Grandmom and Aunt and Uncle call the kids when they are at my house. We have gone up to visit several times and I have tried to keep the kids in touch as best we can--not a lot, but it is enough so that they know each other. Every holiday period we have the same fight (my ex and me) about MY involvement with HER family. Well I would like nothing more than to NOT be involved but I refuse because I think it is unfair to the kids. They are my ex-in-laws but aren't they also friends? I certainly cannot tell my ex wife to not expose my kids to her friends. I know it is not exactly the same but, it seems every holiday season we have the same freaking argument. This one began when my son needed to interview someone for a class project that was alive in the 40s. He called me and said he didnot know anyone and I suggested his grammy. I told my ex that I suggested it and she said it would be a problem if she was not home and had to call back long distance and they were not in.....I guess justifying why NOT to call her. But she did not say no. I was talking to grammy and told her she might get a cll and what it was about and apparently she called my sons cell and left a messgae as to when she would be around to talk. Well, that triggered the whole "stop meddling in my family" fight again. So, am I out of line here or not? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 You are not out of line at all, infact I think it shows how much you put the kids first. They should have every right to see their cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents - Whether or not your ex-wife has a relationship with these people or not, family is very important. Someday your ex will figure that out. I hope sooner rather than later. I'm stumped here, I really think the ex needs to have her eyes open and see that there isn't anything sneaky or malcious going on, it's about her son's project and you helped by giving a suggestion! You need to talk to her as uncomfortable as that conversation will be, it has to happen. Giving it some more thought and I'll post some more soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I'm with WWIU on this one.. You are not out of line.. What do the kids want ? They want to see their other family ? Then you are just being a good parent and as long as there is no tension between you and her side of the family then continue.. just have the same argument each year. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I think your ex has a right to nag as it's HER family, but that's about all the right she has. Otherwise you're doing a great thing for not depriving your kids from their family (it's THEIR family too!!!). You can contact anyone you want as long as they are doing no harm to your children. In this case the contact is doing good to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 933KJL Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 They are all for keeping in touch they have a great time when they see them and enjoy the calls Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 They are all for keeping in touch they have a great time when they see them and enjoy the calls There is your anwser... Nothing wrong with doing something because it is the right thing to do and the healthy thing for the kids Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 You know this shows alot of maturity on your part and none on hers. You are not out of line! Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I have to agree. (See, Art...I don't ALWAYS "fight.") I have periods where I don't speak to my mother. She's very hard to get along with sometimes. But I would NEVER deprive my son (her only grandchild) from being with her. There have been times where it crossed my mind...I won't lie. I wanted to punish her. But I immediately dismissed all thoughts of that since it would be punishing my child as well. She's being immature and selfish. She can nag and fight with you all she wants but you are right and she is wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
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