justin_83 Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Hi guys i'm new in here but i have a huge problem that i can't get it fixed by myself so please help me. I've dated my girlfriend for allmost 3 years, we have a long distance relationship and she goes to collage about 3 hours away from me.Everything was fine we loved eachother we were making weding plans and than Sudenly 2 months ago she started backing up on me. She started telling me that she is not good of a girlfriend for me and that she is tired of my jealousy. Now when i feel that she wants to break up with me and that i was stupid till now, All i want IS to get her love back, to get HER BACK and the wholle relationship just the way it was, but she won't really let me do that. She keeps telling me that she allready made up her mind and there is nothing we can do about it. Couple of days ago i asked her to give "US" another chance on wich she agreed but tell you the truth i don't see no changes at all and she keep telling me that is a waste of time. Please help. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 There's nothing you can do, Justin. Not based on anything you said. Once a woman gets to that point, you just have to back off and let it go. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author justin_83 Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 I know that deep inside she still loves me, she even told me that it herts her a lot and that she is doing it for us. And why would she give me hope, for example in January is her b-day so 3 months ago i made reservations in the mountains to spend some time toghether and celebrate her b-day, and now after all she is still telling me that we are going. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I know that deep inside she still loves me, she even told me that it herts her a lot and that she is doing it for us. And why would she give me hope, for example in January is her b-day so 3 months ago i made reservations in the mountains to spend some time toghether and celebrate her b-day, and now after all she is still telling me that we are going. She may still feel love you, it's not like she can just shut off all feelings for you. But that doesn't change anything. And I don't know why she said she'd still go with you. This is typical early-20s girl behavior. You can always squeeze a last few "I love yous", dates, kisses, trips, orgasms out of them during the breakup. She'll say and do things to give you hope, only to immediately turn around and destroy it. There is no explanation for it, except that some women are weak and can't figure out what the hell to do. If you let her, she'll give you the most painful roller-coaster ride you can imagine. The best thing you can do is put all your feelings for her in a box and bury it. Here are the things I can tell you for sure: 1) If she really wanted to be with you (with no confusion) then you'd have no doubt about it. 2) Any level of confusion on her part should be enough for you to back off completely. Protect yourself, because you're the only one of the two of you that you can really count on. 3) If you beat yourself up for the breakup at all, it will be that much harder on you. She might say or do things to hurt you, but don't help her by hurting yourself. You did your best, you shouldn't have to be perfect to be loved, you know there are things you can do better, you'll learn and do better. Trust yourself. 4) If you let her put you on the roller-coaster, she'll lose respect for you. 5) In order to stay off the roller-coaster, you need to end the relationship once and for all yourself. The sooner the better. You may never hear from her or see her again, but she'll respect you for respecting yourself. That is priority 1 from now on. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author justin_83 Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 OK i can see why she's mad and madeup her mind... i can see all that.. But don't you think guys there is something that i can do to get her back..There must be something.. and i'm sure if i can find "that" i'll get her back..the way i see it i didn't loose her completely.. i still can get her back.. any ideas or sugestions? Anything will be apreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 My suggestion is to listen to Johan who has made the effort to give you some advice. Dont let this information fall on deaf ears, cause it seems to me your gonna ignore anyone that tells you to move on. Nothing you can say or do will bring her back, thats up to her. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 OK i can see why she's mad and madeup her mind... i can see all that.. But don't you think guys there is something that i can do to get her back..There must be something.. and i'm sure if i can find "that" i'll get her back..the way i see it i didn't loose her completely.. i still can get her back.. any ideas or sugestions? Anything will be apreciated. Be honest with her about your feelings. One time. Say it all. Say it briefly. Limit it to 1/2 page if you write it, or 10 minutes if you say it. Then just go live your life. Don't think about the things you could do. If she isn't trying to find things SHE can do as well, then that's it for you. You're volunteering to have a one-sided relationship. Again, that's how you lose her respect. You know you need to be with a girl in love. You know what a girl in love acts like. She isn't acting like a girl in love. So you don't need her. You need someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts