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how to tell if it is just friends or a second chance?


angel0912

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My ex and I have remained friends since the breakup. We initally still talked all the time (because of our situation NC wasn't an option) and we still see each other every day (just so happens in our graduate program you can't change seats after the first day). However, we NEVER talked about our relationship, aside from a minor discussion about a week and a half after breaking up (this convo. was 2 months ago).

 

Since we broke up I have tried to keep it totally platonic, regardless of the fact that he broke up with me and I have missed him and wanted him back the whole time. However, I now feel like our old relationship is behind us, and we are at a point where something new can start. (and i'm also worried that if he thinks i've moved on, he will too)

 

We have been studying often for upcoming finals, and intended to study more in the near future. He has been very interested in wanting to study and acutally suggested that we study tomorrow.

 

We are at a very good place in terms of friendship, I am finally really comfortable around him. I'm scared to act in anyway suggesting a second chance unless I can tell he is wanting one too. What should I look for to tell if he is interested as opposed to being a flirty friend?

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slubberdegullion

Men appreciate directness. Subtle hints, or even overt ones, usually don't make it. Be direct. Be clear. Be unambiguous.

 

"Look, I know that we're getting along very well now, but I don't want to jepoardize our friendship by going down the road to another romantic relationship. Do you agree?"

 

His answer will obviously determine your response, but regardless of what the answer is, clarity is required and will give you the answer you need.

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After spending some friendly time together, my ex-gf, who initiated the break up, came to me and stated that she was wrong about me, that I was a good man and that she wanted to pursue being more than friends, yet pursue it slowly.

 

We have done that and it is going pretty good. It takes time to work out some of the issues and I'm glad we're talking and working it out. We're finding out that we do indeed get along really well and are willing to give to each other. We are now at a point where we are becoming physically affectionate and the fire is getting hotter. I certainly hope it keeps going. We're finding more ways to be together, spend time together, have fun together and finding activities that offer opportunities to strengthen the relationship, such as being with mutual friends, dates, church and private quality time.

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