Promise Ring...??

[QueenieJD]

Hi there everyone. Here is the problem… My boyfriend of a year and a half has mentioned to me previously for the last few months that he would like to give me promise ring. This thought thrills me to death and we have talked a little bit about our future, but till both of us are done school that is as far is it would go. A few weekends ago he said to me that when I go out without him different places and whatever that he would like me to put a ring from my mom on my ring finger, as a promise ring. However, I don't feel right doing this because it's not for him... He keeps asking me what I want for Christmas and I would love nothing better than that, I'm worried though that I gave him the wrong impression though with never wearing my mom's ring. We are very much in love with each other...But I dont know how to hint that a promise ring is what a want for Christmas or to at least make sure he still knows I would love to have nothing better to show everyone our love.

 

If anyone has any comments or suggestions they would be greatly appreciated...Anything at all… Thanks...JD.

[slubberdegullion]

What's this desire for a promise ring all about? I mean, sure, it would probably be a nice little glitter to show off, but if he's commited to you then why do you need a ring?

 

How about a nice pair of socks?

[Walk]

I can understand where she's coming from.. She wants something that is from him specifically. Not some item that was her mom's. (if I read that right.) Something that would signify their love, and his desire to be with her.

 

However, if that's the case then you wouldn't care if he bought you a $10 ring from the pawn shop, right? Or found something he likes but you think is atrocious, you'd wear it and be proud anyway, right?

 

The promise ring is programmed into women to want... but if you think about it logically, it really doesn't mean anything. Any guy can buy a ring. It's all the other stuff he does specifically for you, that makes him special to you. Those are the things that you need to see and appreciate. Not a ring. The way he looks at you, or holds you, or the things he say's.

 

And what kind of position does that put your bf in. Is he wealthy? If he buys you a cheaper ring, maybe one he can afford, then is he saying he only loves you so much? What if he buys you an expensive ring, but has to go without the things he wants or needs for the next 6 months while he's paying it off? Is it that important to you? How much should he spend on that ring? How badly do you want it? And why? What does it really prove? Will having that ring mean he'll love you forever? Or will his actions and words say that?

 

I'm not saying you're bad for wanting one. Its just that sometimes us girls need to look at the rational behind why we want something.

[QueenieJD]

Thanks for your opinions. "Walk" I understand what your saying, completely and its a very valid point!! However, I guess the fact for me is that its something from him and a symbol of how he feels...We're both university students and when we cant see each other for a few weeks sometimes, it'd just be a visual promise! I don't care if its a ring from the dollar store....I dont really understand either, its just something thats important to me and I thought it was to him too since hes the one who mentioned it to begin with!....I dunno. JD.