Winger Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Hey LS, My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me at the end of August because we were on different paths, which was in turn causing friction. I was torn apart at first because we were very much in love and very close - so I spent the first month trying to win her back and not let go. All of my efforts were to no avail. Finally, I "accepted" the breakup, stopped contacting her COMPLETELY and began to date other girls. A few weeks ago I got a call from her and she explained that she made a mistake, missed me and wanted to reconcile. Before jumping into it, we talked about all of the differences we had in the past and whether or not the relationship is in our best interests. We've decided that there aren't any differences that are big enough to get between us - career, religion etc. So, we've been going strong for the past month and things are much better. A lot of the senseless arguing is gone because we've both agreed that our differences are not as significant as our similarities. I feel like we've endured a lot as a couple and, having withstood a serious breakup, we can probably get through a lot more. I don't know what will happen...but I'm willing to take that chance. It's hard not to resent her for hurting me so badly, but I'm willing to see the breakup as a necessary step in order to get back on track. So my advice is this...your ex may or may not come back. BUT...the best thing you can do in the meantime is take it day by day and be proud of the small accomplishments you make at the beginning of a breakup. It takes a lot of will power not to call - so when you get through that first day...be proud and let it strengthen you for the next day. Before you know it, you'll have banked a couple of weeks and feel much better. Think of it like saving money...the more days of NC under your belt, the better you'll feel. And, if they do come back...treat it as something special and new. Don't let old habits creep back in and remember to not take that person for granted. Try not to resent him/her (as hard as it is - believe me, I've accidentally thrown in a few jabs). Above all though, always remember that there are plenty of people and a wide world of opportunity...so if he/she doesn't come back, it's because someone better suited for you is waiting 'round the bend. Good luck to you all and thanks for helping me when I was at my lowest. Link to post Share on other sites
downcydeguy Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 So you dated during the "break"? Did you tell her about that? Did she date also? It's great to hear that you've reconciled, so congratulations on that. I was just curious as to whether or not there were any details left out when you had your talk. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Winger Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 Yeah I told her about the dating. Not because I owed her anything, but I'm just honest. In my opinion, she broke up with me and made it seem like it was "final"...SO I treated it as though it were final. Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 The band Winger is amazing ,is that why you picked your handle? Go Kip Link to post Share on other sites
Author Winger Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 Definitely...hahaha. I'm waiting for a Winger Reunion Tour Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I was just listening to "Time to surrender" and "Madelaine".I am waiting for thr reunion too:D .Reb Beach is playing with Whitesnake now I think or Alice Cooper.Good ol Kip is doing the solo thing.Awesome musicians in that band they always got a bad rap. Kip needed to chill out on the dance moves in the "Seventeen" video or they would have been a lot bigger than they got.I saw them live every time they came to Toronto they killed everytime blew away the headliners,especially Kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
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