gordon_gc Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Hi, Ok, my 13 months gf broke up with me about 2 weeks now. She was lost, didnt not have the same feeling for me and didnt know what she wanted (pretty usual things to here). Anyway, during that whole time, I tried to stick to NC but she kept contacting me to a point where I actually thought she regreted the whole things (she told me she was sad, empty, a body without a soul without me around and that she missed talking and listening to me). Anyway, wrong alert, she was feeling like ***t but still, was still lost. She told me "let's keep in touch, etc..." and I told her I was not ready for that as it was hard for me to do so, but most importantly because she had to go throught her thinking process. She understood my argument, accepted it. Since then, I have a morale support with my brother visiting me. He has a reputation of being a player, party boy. She knows that reputation and knows about the fact that he'll be around. I know that she will contact me to check on the situation since she already did so when she heard I was going on a break. What I want to know is... ...I obviously realise that NC is the only way to get her back and nothing I can do or say will change the situation but what to do if she is contacting me. I don't want her to think I don't care about her anymore and she would probably be thinking so if she had no news from me with all the exitement coming around for me. How should I apply NC if she contacts me ???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author gordon_gc Posted November 18, 2005 Author Share Posted November 18, 2005 Just a quick update to try to express what I am actually feeling right now and maybe help anyone. I already wrote in this thread that I told my girlfriend knew about my life and was actually expecting a contact from her that is actually not coming. At thispoint in time, I actually regret playing that silly game of making her jealous. Why ? because, it turned bac on me and I am now the one actually suffering even more. I dont know what is happening in her head at this point in time and I feel really hurt. I know I shouldnt be worrying and focus on having fun in my life but I just have so much trouble trying to accept my life without her !!! Can I get some advices on how to handle the situation ? I feel really confused on what to do as some told me to send flowers, other to stick to NC, others to be friend... Link to post Share on other sites
symbol Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Hi gordon, From what I have read in LS, I understand that NC is for you to heal, to feel better about yourself and get over the relationship. You might still want that your ex comes back to you (I know I still want that after 20 days of break up and 12 days of NC). However, neither NC nor any games will bring her back. She will come back only if she wants to. You have no control over that. I think, you should give up with jealousy games and all other games, stick to NC - not because it is yet another game that would bring her back, but it is crucial for you to realize that you can live without her. Try not to think about her or the relationship (I know it is very hard, I am in the same situation) and focus on other things in your life. You will feel much better. I know I am feeling much better since I decided to move on no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
symbol Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Oh, and by the way, I also was expecting that my ex would contact me. But nope! After 7 1/2 years, it seems that he doesn't care about me at all. No emails, no phone calls, nothing in the last 13 days, and he has no way of knowing how I am doing. At first this hurt like hell, now I don't care all that much. And I feel a whole lot better. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gordon_gc Posted November 18, 2005 Author Share Posted November 18, 2005 Oh, and by the way, I also was expecting that my ex would contact me. But nope! After 7 1/2 years, it seems that he doesn't care about me at all. No emails, no phone calls, nothing in the last 13 days, and he has no way of knowing how I am doing. At first this hurt like hell, now I don't care all that much. And I feel a whole lot better. Cheers. I am just so lost, so mad that she doesnt want my love, my respect, everything I have to give. I still think she deserves all those from me and more and I just cant get over it !!! Nothing can help, no one around me can really helps except to keep me away from contacting her. There is not one minute, one place, one behaviour that doesnt make me think of her...I love everything she is, good and bad... So down...I hate it Link to post Share on other sites
jacked17 Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Hey Gordon I'm going through the exact same thing as you. No matter what anyone says or does you still love her with all of your heart. I'm the same way. All of my friends are just like get over her, get over her. If it only were that easy. It's so bad especially in my case when she started dating another guy. Its just like throwing salt in the wound. Link to post Share on other sites
dprelz Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 she misses you just as much as you miss her, doesnt matter how hard she is trying to hide it if she loves you, she will come back and you will make the decision at that point if she doesn't then you will go on and find someone who deserves all the energy and time you put into a relationship its actually a good thing she is dating now because she will know pretty soon if she misses you because of the situation (so she isnt lonely) or she misses you because of you (since her new bf sucks compared to you) keep strong, she has not forgotten you, trust me whatever you do do not contact her at all. give her time and space, this allows her to miss you. In the meantime start talking to as many girls as you can:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
dprelz Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 btw gordon, her contacting you in some ways is a test to see if you can truly stand up to her and demand the respect you deserve. If you can stand up for what you believe in against her, you are more likely to stand up FOR HER in the event you guys are together. Show her your strength, NOT WEAKNESS by ignoring her every contact except "i made a mistake, I want you back" - be strong, show her you are a man and she will think twice about you Link to post Share on other sites
grace2005 Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 Hey Gordon I'm going through the exact same thing as you. No matter what anyone says or does you still love her with all of your heart. I'm the same way. All of my friends are just like get over her, get over her. If it only were that easy. It's so bad especially in my case when she started dating another guy. Its just like throwing salt in the wound. I agree. No matter what other people tell you to do, it does not change the fact that your heart is still attached to your ex. Only time will do the work in changing that. Other people can give you their opinion to move on but most importantly listen to your heart. You'll move on when you are ready to. I tend to go against the mainstream posts that say "forget her, move on and find someone else" but you can't help it that your heart says "it's not time to move on yet". "she misses you just as much as you miss her, doesnt matter how hard she is trying to hide it" Yeah dprelz I believe some dumpers do actually miss their dumpees even if they don't show it. They do such a good job of faking it that you wind up believeing it. I agree apply NC until she initiates contact with you. Let her initiate all the calls. Continuing to give her space would be best. It gives her a chance to see what she's really missing Link to post Share on other sites
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