bluebubbles Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 I have been with my boyfriend for two years and I have always been faithful and he has to. But I was wondering, I ran into my ex boyfriend a week ago and I haven’t seen him in 4 years. Well, after I ran into him, I agreed to meet him later. I called him later on that night and went to his house. All we did was talk but I never told my boyfriend I went because I didn’t want him to get upset over nothing. I might see my ex again later, I don’t know. Is keeping the fact that I went to my ex’s house a secret, bad or wrong if nothing happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 It isn't wrong that you kept it a secret.. It is wrong that you went to your ex's house.. period.. How would you feel if your BF of 2 YEARS did the same to you ?? You wouldn't feel too good huh ?? You need to tell him about it.. you can leave out the details .. But if he finds out later it will break the two of you up.. At least telling him about it now you guys won't break up.. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 If you keep seeing him in secret, you will eventually do something. Even if it's not a secret, you will eventually do something. It has something to do with being alone, just you and him. Link to post Share on other sites
mini696 Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Thats just simply wrong... Not only did you not tell your BF, but you went to your ex's house... Wrong, wrong, wrong. Your a bad person. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 yeah I think if a relationship harbours any secrets it is a bad sign just in September i was sitting in my house with my now ex and my ex from 6 years ago called me... i spoke to her and my ex left the room, i was just civil, never asked for a number etc. my ex wasn't the jealous type but i had a lot of explaining to do, she kept asking weeks after did she ever call again i was totally honest with her and held no secrets... i feel it has to be like this or else the relationship is doomed... saying that mines is doomed anyhow despite all my honesty although my recent ex was trickling out little secrets about her i thought she should have told me before, not 4 months later, i sometimes wonder what else she didn't tell me Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 everything after "I ran into..." was incorrect and improper. If you want to do this stuff, just give your b/f a heads up and see what he says. No offense, but if you were my g/f, you'd be dumped, no drama, no pain, no emotion, immediately. Of course, I'd do that if my g/f DID tell me what she was up to simply because there is no sense in my g/f hanging out with an ex. If she wants to be with him, more power to her -- more free time for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluebubbles Posted November 18, 2005 Author Share Posted November 18, 2005 The question that I keep asking myself is "why is it not okay for me to go to some ones house, who I use to date, and only talk to him and nothing else happened. But it is ok for my boyfriend to go to bachelor parties and strip clubs to be with naked women." Why is it wrong what I did? If it is wrong that I keep a secret from him, well, I am sure he didn’t tell me everything that goes on at the bachelor parties, so he has got a secret. People keep secrets from each other all the time. It happens in almost every relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 People keep secrets from each other all the time. It happens in almost every relationship. not the kind you just created.. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 The question that I keep asking myself is "why is it not okay for me to go to some ones house, who I use to date, and only talk to him and nothing else happened. But it is ok for my boyfriend to go to bachelor parties and strip clubs to be with naked women." If you have a problem with it, you shouldn't date him. Using this as an excuse to do something behind his back isn't healthy, unless he's going to these parties behind your back as well. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Tit for tat is not good. If he is doing something that upsets you tell him. Don't create a "if he does this I am going to do that" situation. That will quickly spiral into disaster. You should have told him what was going on, and let him decide for himself. If he finds out later from someone else he will probably be mightily annoyed, and I wouldn't blame him. Basically if you don't give a monkey's fart for him don't tell him anything. But if you do care about him tell him now. You are NOT a bad person. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 The question that I keep asking myself is "why is it not okay for me to go to some ones house, who I use to date, and only talk to him and nothing else happened. But it is ok for my boyfriend to go to bachelor parties and strip clubs to be with naked women." Why is it wrong what I did? If it is wrong that I keep a secret from him, well, I am sure he didn’t tell me everything that goes on at the bachelor parties, so he has got a secret. People keep secrets from each other all the time. It happens in almost every relationship. Heres a question: have you always been secretly in love with this ex? or did you realize he was your soulmate when you saw him? if not, there isnt one damn reason in the world to spend time with him, quit being selfish, you dont like it if your bf goes to strip clubs? fine, Im gonna suggest a primitive resolution: Talk to him about it? instead of running around behind his back with your ex? that makes you look like a..well..you probably know right, since you need to keep it secret Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Strip clubs are commercial establishments and the strippers are not trying to get men to cheat -- they are trying to get cash; there is some rational reason on the planet for a dude to go to one as part of bachellor party nonsense (if you have a problem with it, then tell him). There is no posibility that your ex has your b/f's interests, or your honor, in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
suzy Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 I think you know the answer to whether your actions were "bad" or "wrong", why would you be stressing if you thought you behaved morally o.k.? Why would you keep this a secret from your b/f if you thought you behaved just fine? Be honest with yourself, you know you over-stepped your own moral boundaries when you went to your ex's for the evening. Try to do what is right now. Treat your b/f as you would wish to be treated by him, which reminds me, TELL HIM if you object to him seeing strippers, its a reasonable point of view, and many women would not be happy with this, but DONT PLAY GAMES WITH HIM, two wrongs dont make a right Link to post Share on other sites
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