confused and hurt

[Bobby Dygytul]

ok, heres what happened. I was dating this girl for about 2 months. Well everything was going really good. Then all of a sudden she started not coming around as much. She usually came home from work and called me or left me an email, but she started not calling or leaving emails as much and not coming around as much.

 

She called me on a Saturday and said she was going to be off for the next 4 days and that she missed me and wanted to see me. Ok, she suggested that we go out Sunday. Well Sunday came around and she wasn't home. I never heared again from her until Monday, she said lets do something tommorrow (Tuesday).

 

I was like ok, then Tuesday came around and i called but again she wasn't home. She never called me back or anything. Wednesday i was online and noticed that she just changed her marital status on her profile saying that she finnally has him after all this time or something like that.

 

Well i called her Wednesday afternoon and she acted like she didn't want to talk to me. I told her that i seen that she changed her profile and she said yeah i was trying to make my ex BF jealous. (by the way, her and her ex bf broke up about 3 weeks before me and her met after dating for 2 years. He cheated on her and she broke up with him.)

 

I wrote her an email just saying "thanks for making a fool out of me!" She wrote back saying "what the f*ck, im not like that. your loss buddy!!" later on i was online and she was also. I asked if she was upset and she said she was very pissed at me. Well i appologized for upsetting her and she said that she has forgiven me and that she understands. then she got offline and didn't even say goodbye.

 

Well that was the last time i heared from her. I called her twice and left a message for her to call me back, but i never heared back from her. I left her an email also and she never responded, even though i know she had been online because she changed her marital status on her email again saying "its only a matter on time"

 

This has really upset me and i don't know what to do. Did i do anything wrong? I just now left her another email asking if we can still be friends. somebody please give me some advise on this. Im really hurt and confused.

 

Bobby

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Did i do anything wrong?"

 

Yes, you continued to call her when she was CLEARLY giving you messages she didn't want anything more to do with you.

 

She stood you up NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. That is a message. The message is: "Get lost, buddy."

 

After that, she told you she changed her profile to make her ex jealous. Now, do you think she would want to make her ex jealous if she didn't still care about him???

 

And you apologized to her...how sick!!! NEVER, EVER apologize to somebody who has been nasty and rude to you. She is the one who should be apologizing but she is NOT sorry. She didn't keep her word to you TWICE, stood you up, and then admitted she was after her ex. How much does it take to get you to understand???

 

Don't ever call or see this girl again unless you love pain. Right now, send her another Email and let her know you withdraw your offer of friendship. Let her know you see no friendship potential with a girl who would jerk you around and lie to you like she has. Tell her not to reply and not to contact you ever again.

 

If you are going to be a wimp aabout this love stuff, you are much better off digging a hole and climbing into it because you will get jerked and trounced until you get the message.

 

Why would you even have to ask about a tramp like this one? She is the pitts. If a lady tells you she wants to get together tomorrow evening...and then she's not home, NOT ONCE BUT TWICE, get the message or she'll think you're really dense. A woman can never have respect for a guy who puts up with her trash like that.

[Bobby Dygytul]

Thanks, your 100% right. I never act like that with other girls, this one just seemed to push all the right buttons. I have written her an email saying exactly what you said to write her and say. I have one last question.

 

Will i go through this with every woman i like or have i just been picking the wrong ones? Im NEVER too nice to them and i try and respect them, it just seems they never have any respect for me and they lie alot. hmmm. im pretty sure im doing nothing wrong. Is there any decent women out there? I guess this one was just using me as a rebound.

YOU ASK: "Did i do anything wrong?"

 

Yes, you continued to call her when she was CLEARLY giving you messages she didn't want anything more to do with you. She stood you up NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. That is a message. The message is: "Get lost, buddy." After that, she told you she changed her profile to make her ex jealous. Now, do you think she would want to make her ex jealous if she didn't still care about him??? And you apologized to her...how sick!!! NEVER, EVER apologize to somebody who has been nasty and rude to you. She is the one who should be apologizing but she is NOT sorry. She didn't keep her word to you TWICE, stood you up, and then admitted she was after her ex. How much does it take to get you to understand??? Don't ever call or see this girl again unless you love pain. Right now, send her another Email and let her know you withdraw your offer of friendship. Let her know you see no friendship potential with a girl who would jerk you around and lie to you like she has. Tell her not to reply and not to contact you ever again. If you are going to be a wimp aabout this love stuff, you are much better off digging a hole and climbing into it because you will get jerked and trounced until you get the message.

 

Why would you even have to ask about a tramp like this one? She is the pitts. If a lady tells you she wants to get together tomorrow evening...and then she's not home, NOT ONCE BUT TWICE, get the message or she'll think you're really dense. A woman can never have respect for a guy who puts up with her trash like that.

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE:

 

1. "Will i go through this with every woman i like or have i just been picking the wrong ones?"

 

You don't ever have to go through anything with anybody unless you choose to. If a woman tells you she wants to get with you tomorrow...and then you call her the next day and she's not home and doesn't return your messages, write her off, forget about her. Plain and simple. That's just plain rude, unless she's gone to the hospital, doctor or a relative has died.

 

2. "Im NEVER too nice to them and i try and respect them, it just seems they never have any respect for me and they lie alot. hmmm. im pretty sure im doing nothing wrong."

 

WRONG!!! It's pretty sickening how you apologized to this girl after it was HER who did you wrong. She crapped all over you and you wrote her Email apologizing to her. Don't ever do that again.

 

No woman will ever have respect for you unless you stand up for yourself. You can be quite nice but, at the same time, not allow yourself to be used or abused.

 

3. "Is there any decent women out there?"

 

Absolutely, a lot of them. But you may not have yet matured to the point of being attracted to the ones who are nice. Like I did myself, you may be going through a phase of liking those who are hard or impossible to get...those who treat you nastily. Try to get over that. Get help if you have to.

 

4. "I guess this one was just using me as a rebound."

 

No, YOU were allowing yourself to be used as a rebound. If someone does not treat you with respect and kindness, write them off as quickly as you can. That's important. If you don't love and respect yourself, how do you think anybody else is going to be able to do that?

 

Now once this lady gets your Email telling her your not interested in a friendship and to get lost, she will be all over you. That's the nature of the beast. Don't give into her. Tell her not to waste your time and that you simply don't get involved with rude people like her. Stay away from her at all costs.

[Bobby Dygytul]

OK thanks Tony, i believe i understand. Just to let you know she already responded. I think this girl is discrace to the female species!! Don't you agree? LOL Did she just call herself a moron? This is her exact response:

 

Ok, try to be a little MORE immature, I don't want to

 

have anything to do with you, I don't need someone who

 

can't understand anything about me. You're the one who

 

keeps f*cking E-mailing me. So go away and bug some

 

other moron...ok?

 

YOU WRITE: 1. "Will i go through this with every woman i like or have i just been picking the wrong ones?" You don't ever have to go through anything with anybody unless you choose to. If a woman tells you she wants to get with you tomorrow...and then you call her the next day and she's not home and doesn't return your messages, write her off, forget about her. Plain and simple. That's just plain rude, unless she's gone to the hospital, doctor or a relative has died. 2. "Im NEVER too nice to them and i try and respect them, it just seems they never have any respect for me and they lie alot. hmmm. im pretty sure im doing nothing wrong." WRONG!!! It's pretty sickening how you apologized to this girl after it was HER who did you wrong. She crapped all over you and you wrote her Email apologizing to her. Don't ever do that again.

 

No woman will ever have respect for you unless you stand up for yourself. You can be quite nice but, at the same time, not allow yourself to be used or abused. 3. "Is there any decent women out there?"

 

Absolutely, a lot of them. But you may not have yet matured to the point of being attracted to the ones who are nice. Like I did myself, you may be going through a phase of liking those who are hard or impossible to get...those who treat you nastily. Try to get over that. Get help if you have to. 4. "I guess this one was just using me as a rebound." No, YOU were allowing yourself to be used as a rebound. If someone does not treat you with respect and kindness, write them off as quickly as you can. That's important. If you don't love and respect yourself, how do you think anybody else is going to be able to do that? Now once this lady gets your Email telling her your not interested in a friendship and to get lost, she will be all over you. That's the nature of the beast. Don't give into her. Tell her not to waste your time and that you simply don't get involved with rude people like her. Stay away from her at all costs.

[Tony T]

1. "I think this girl is discrace to the female species!! Don't you agree?"

 

Well, she's not the only one. You have to take some of the blame for her attitude. She tried awfully hard to give you the message to bug off. Now, she has told you flat out.

 

I'm sorry you sent her the first email about wanting to be her friend. It would have been far more effective to have just sent the second.

 

2. "LOL Did she just call herself a moron?"

 

It seems she did. Maybe she just couldn't spell bxtch...well, looks like I can't either.

 

Now don't do this kind of stuff again. Be nice to people but don't take crap off of them. Treat others kindly and INSIST on being treated the same way. Don't let chicks jack you around. TODAY, YOU ARE A MAN!!!

 

This is not the last you will hear from her. But never, under any circumstances, respond to her email again or answer her calls. Pretend she doesn't exist. She is a loser...and, even worse, a moron loser.

[Miss Mojo]

hey bobby,

 

sorry to hear that things didn't work out the way you would have liked them to. but judging from what you have written about this girl, it is a blessing in disguise that things didn't work out with this particular chick. she has a screw loose and then some. for starters, SHE should have been the first to apologise....she jerked YOU around and had the hide to act as though she didn't do anything wrong, and that it's *YOUR* loss!!???? my god, if this girl had a clue, she'd realise the only one to have lost out here is her! but then again, i don't even think a clue would be enough to help this chick.

 

the way she has acted towards you has been nothing short of inconsiderate and rude. if she didn't feel that she wanted to continue the relationship with you, she should have had the guts to come out and tell you, instead of stringing you along and playing head games. thankfully, there are many, many girls who would never treat a guy like this. she really is a b*tch, and it's just so unfortunate that a really nice guy, like yourself, ended up being treated like this.

 

of course, you weren't to see this behaviour coming, but if you want a little bit of advice from someone who has *stupidly and knowingly* put herself in a situation where she has let a guy jerk her around left, right and centre - DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER. she is hardly deserving of your attention and affection. the simple fact is, you did absolutely nothing to her to warrant her crappy behaviour towards you. if she tries to contact you again, tell her to stick it where the sun don't shine. she is your average, garden-variety, selfish game player. she makes me cringe.

 

...and whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances contact her. she's made it clear she doesn't want to hear from you, and she probably doesn't want to hear from you because she knows everything you say to her is the truth. she simply doesn't want to hear it because she is a b*tch and she knows you are right.

 

...and please, don't feel that all girls are like this because i can tell you, without any hesitation whatsoever, they are not. most of us are just unfortunate at one time or another in our lives to have an experience with the not-so-nice-ones. but hopefully, you will now be better equipped to walk away when someone hasn't treated you as you deserved - if it happens again (it may not).

 

good luck in the future bobby!!