[Need Advice] Need to be liked?

[capitalone]

Hi, this is my first post. I wouldn't normally do this, but I'm confused.

 

I've been dating this girl for about 2-21/2 years. We've been through lots together and had lots of fun in the past too. Recently though, I've noticed her intrest in another guy. This isn't the first apperance of this fellow but it all seemed insignificant before. Also, she has cheated on another guy before if i have met her. I really wouldn't imange that should would ever do that to me, she tells me she loves me everyday.

It's just that she said the other day that "she likes it when she knows other guys like here." I thought about it and came to the conclusion that it was sort of immature. I didn't tell her this but just the next day she asked her friends if they like it when they know that another guy likes them and tells me they all said yes.

 

So anyway, she invites one of her girlfriends and "that guy" over to her house on saturday. She invited me aswell. I don't know wheather i should go or not though? She also justified this by say that shes always at her friends house and shes been to "that guy's" house serval times aswell.

I have problem with her having guy friends whatsoever but I feel like I'm just something that she can fall back onto when she can't impress this fellow. Am I just jealous? or is she still immature(shes 16 im 17) ?

 

What would anyone suggest in this situation? Tell her what I think? wait and see what happens? or am I crazy?

[slubberdegullion]

Yes, she's certainly immature, no question about that. She knows exactly how you feel about the fact that she's inviting other fellows over. She's even admitted it, in an offhand way, when she said she likes it when she knows other guys like here (sic)."

 

Put yourself in this other guy's Nikes for a minute. He's been invited over to a chick's place, even though the chick already has a boyfriend.

 

What do you think his reaction is going to be?

 

So no, you're not crazy. Best to be upfront about it with her, but not while the other fellow is there. You'll have to do this one-on-one.

 

But be prepared for a sudden rush of "You just want to control me!" and "This is my life, I'll do what I want" and similar bulls***. Those are tactics that are often used to get the focus off of her behaviour and onto yours.

 

Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.

[capitalone]

Thanks for the quick reply.

 

I plan to a one-on-one whenever I get the chance.

The only thing that gets me is when she says "I can't beleive you feel that way" which she has said on differnet occasions. It stumps me because I don't want her to think I'm trying to control because in no way do I want to. I really just want her to be honest and for her to tell me that she's still serious about our realationship, which I don't think is too much to ask.

 

After thinking about more, I know that if I was to invite a buddy and a girl she would probaly not like it one bit.

 

I want to keep on the subject but I hate to argue.

 

Any advice on how to word it would help.

 

Thanks again.