Should a spouse be willing to relocate b/c of their spouses job?

[Moose]

Don't bother yourself with quotes from the Bible; people take sayings out of the Bible and twist them to their own ends. For instance, 'look not on the wine while it is read' is interpreted by some to mean you should not drink.

While the wife and I use the Scriptures to guide us through our lives together, we didn't twist anything about it.

 

Personally I think you use what you just said to discourage others to read them, or as an excuse as to why you don't read them yourself.

 

Either way, you obviously have read enough for you to act as a Judge against my lifestyle. AND, since that's the case, one can only come to the conclusion that you yourself are guilty of what you accuse others in doing.

 

The reason I say this, is because the Scriptures clearly state that the husband should be the leader in the marriage:

 

Col 3:18 - Wives, be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

 

Col 3:19- Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.

 

1Ti 3:12- Deacons must be husbands of {only} one wife, {and} good managers of {their} children and their own households.

 

Tit 2:4- so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands to love their children,

 

Tit 2:5 - {to be} sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

 

1Pe 3:1 - In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any {of them} are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,

 

1Pe 3:5- For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;

 

This all isn't to say that husbands should be merciless, unreasonable, evil dictators either:

 

1Pe 3:7-You husbands in the same way, live with {your wives} in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

 

You can see that there are loads of honor, and love towards both the husband and wife here.

 

Just because the husband has the final say, it doesn't mean that his wife and family doesn't have an influence on his decision......

 

There has to be leader. Plain and simple. If two or more have a goal, it can't be accomplished without one leading.....

 

A car has thousands of moving parts. But none of them matter unless someone drives it.

 

 

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[Hot Coco]

I can respect your way, Moose. Who are we to judge, if it works for both of you?

 

I agree there can only be ONE leader. But in our marriage we take turns being the leader. If there's a decison to be made that we don't see eye to eye on (rare, but it DOES happen) it goes something like this:

 

Me: Well, I guess since I had say on so and so the last time, this one's yours!

 

It's what has worked for us anyway. We just basically take turns leading.

[Art_Critic]

Just because the husband has the final say, it doesn't mean that his wife and family doesn't have an influence on his decision......

 

There has to be leader. Plain and simple. If two or more have a goal, it can't be accomplished without one leading.....

 

Moose .. I would be curious to hear your wifes viewpoint on this 2 statements..

 

Does she know that YOU have the final say ???

 

and Does she know that YOU are the leader and she follows you ???

[Hot Coco]

To me, Moose's way comes down to one person having their way every time. Like I said i'm not judging. Some people don't have a problem with their spouse always getting their way...although, now that I think of it, I can't really think of anyone who wouldn't have a problem with that. So Art, I see your point too. I do see where you're going with that.

[Moose]

It's what has worked for us anyway. We just basically take turns leading.

Good for you guys. Some choose to follow the Bible, some choose other paths. What can anyone do about it?

Does she know that YOU have the final say ???

Of course.

and Does she know that YOU are the leader and she follows you ???

And again, of course she does. It's her choice, isn't it? (She told me to type that.)

 

By doing this, she is serving and honoring God, more than she's serving and honoring me.

To me, Moose's way comes down to one person having their way every time. Like I said i'm not judging. Some people don't have a problem with their spouse always getting their way...although, now that I think of it, I can't really think of anyone who wouldn't have a problem with that. So Art, I see your point too. I do see where you're going with that

I don't always get my way. There are a lot of things I would do differently if I didn't have this responsibility.

 

I realize it's hard to understand, but I am personally liable for how my wife and family turn out. Since I do make the final calls, be right or wrong, I will ultimately face God for how those decisions pan out. If you understood that burden, you'd probably be relieved to let your husband be in charge.

 

Most people have the here and now in sight rather than their final destination. I try to keep the end in sight at all times.

 

Finally, to those women who don't know this, you people do run the world.....my wife influences every aspect of my life, which in turn ultimately affects any and all decisions I make.

 

Think about that a while......

[Art_Critic]

Of course.And again, of course she does. It's her choice, isn't it? (She told me to type that.)

 

By doing this, she is serving and honoring God, more than she's serving and honoring me..

 

Thanks for answering.. It sounds like she drank the koolaid

[Outcast]

Some choose to follow the Bible, some choose other paths

 

Meaning 'some of us will go to Heaven and god help the rest of you heathens'

 

Sorry, Moose, but the Bible also condones beating your children, stoning disobedient kids to death, and having slaves. Are you planning to implement these practices in your day-to-day life, too?

 

Because if not, you cannot truthfully say you 'follow the Bible'. Instead, you follow the bits which suit you and back up the way you want to live.

 

PS everything you wrote is from letters written by St. Paul so of course they all say the same thing. One guy's opinion, Moose.

 

Ask your wife when you should go buy yourself some slaves, Moose, and how best to stone the disobedient kids to death. It's all there in the Bible.

[Moose]

Meaning 'some of us will go to Heaven and god help the rest of you heathens'

That's not what I said. Some prefer letting God's words and instructions guide their lives.....some don't.....

Sorry, Moose, but the Bible also condones beating your children, stoning disobedient kids to death, and having slaves. Are you planning to implement these practices in your day-to-day life, too?

No it doesn't. You're displaying your ignorance in what Scripture actually says.

Because if not, you cannot truthfully say you 'follow the Bible'. Instead, you follow the bits which suit you and back up the way you want to live.

Wrong again. You must take the Bible as a whole. You're only referring to the Old Testament, big mistake.

PS everything you wrote is from letters written by St. Paul so of course they all say the same thing. One guy's opinion, Moose.

PS, The Bible isn't a bunch of manly opinions compiled into a novel. It is God's words. NOTHING in the Bible would be there unless God wanted it there.

Ask your wife when you should go buy yourself some slaves, Moose, and how best to stone the disobedient kids to death. It's all there in the Bible.

She says, "this is why I don't get on those forums......too many people misled, or close minded that they insist they're right and everyone else is wrong, you can't win with them, why bother".

 

And I agree to a certain extend. Everything that you just said is YOUR opinion, and it is merely one man's opinion......PLUS, you couldn't be further from misundertanding the Bible as a whole. And you even admit to conforming to men's opinions. If it were more than ONE man, what say you then????

 

Double Whammi, Outcast.....

[d'Arthez]

NOTHING in the Bible would be there unless God wanted it there.

Hence the translation issues in the thousands, if not tens of thousands, translations that have been made through time.

 

A professor of theology once explained to me we are not even certain about the "rib" part concerning Eve.

[Art_Critic]

She says, "this is why I don't get on those forums......too many people misled, or close minded that they insist they're right and everyone else is wrong, you can't win with them, why bother".

 

Aren't you expecting us to believe your right and we are wrong ??

 

That would make you as closed minded as the rest of us

[Moose]

Aren't you expecting us to believe your right and we are wrong ??

 

That would make you as closed minded as the rest of us

I'm not trying to convince anyone is right or wrong.

 

I'm explaining the reasons we believe the way we believe.

 

Who better to instruct a Marriage than the Author of Marriage? The Author says the Husband is to lead the family.

Hence the translation issues in the thousands, if not tens of thousands, translations that have been made through time.

 

A professor of theology once explained to me we are not even certain about the "rib" part concerning Eve.

It's important to allow the Holy Spirit take control when studying Scripture. Not the words of, "Professors"............

[Hot Coco]

Look, I'll say it again..if it REALLY works for the two of them who are we to judge? Moose didn't judge ME for saying my husband and I take turns being leader. And obviously he doesn't really believe in that way but he didn't beat me down for it. I think you should all stop beating HIM down. If his wife is happy with the status quo, and we have to take him at his word on that, then why should we knock it?

 

At least he's not pushing his religious views on others. He's just explaining his stance on it.

[pinkrosette]

I think that the decision to move should be based on what both parties want---not just one person having the say in the matter.

 

That means it needs to be discussed and discussed further. The poster is happy with her job. That's very important and hard to come by these days. The kids have friends and are happy where they are also.

 

Making more money in AZ does not matter much considering the differences in the cost of living in the midwest vs. the west coast area. Moving would not make things financially better.

[pinkrosette]

Thanks for answering.. It sounds like she drank the koolaid

 

 

ROFLMAO!

 

I was thinking the same thing.

 

There's a radio station here that preaches the same stuff he's talking about. I have to turn it off before I punch the radio console.

[Outcast]

At least he's not pushing his religious views on others.

 

Then what do you call

 

Some prefer letting God's words and instructions guide their lives.....some don't.....

 

There it is again - "I'm going to heaven and the rest of you will rot in hell."

 

Double Whammi, Outcast.....

 

You made no points, Moose. 'There are no so blind as those who will not see'.

[bab]

Then what do you call

 

Some prefer letting Moses's words and instructions guide their lives...some don't...

 

Some prefer letting Muhammad's words and instructions guide their lives...some don't...

 

Some prefer letting Buddha's words and instructions guide their lives...some don't...

 

and so on....

 

Does that mean I think you are going to hell? Come on, give Moose a break. You are infering what he's thinking, which he has every right to do, not what he's saying. If you are going to be militant left, gotta be militant left for everyone, even those who are militant right.

[Hot Coco]

At least he's not pushing his religious views on others.

 

 

Then what do you call

Some prefer letting God's words and instructions guide their lives.....some don't.....

 

I'd call that a statement of FACT. It's not a judgement. Do you understand the difference? It's FACT. Some DO let God's words guide their lives (as Moose put it) and others DON'T. How the hell is that judging. How is that statement indicative of someone "pushing his religious views on other?"

 

I see it as a simple statement of fact. Nothing more and nothing less. Your letting your own views on this subject color your perceptions.

[Moose]

There it is again - "I'm going to heaven and the rest of you will rot in hell."

To you maybe. You take what I say so defensively. If I wanted to say that you where going to hell, I'd tell you, "You are going to hell".

 

I wouldn't want any confusion about something like that at all.......

[Art_Critic]

To you maybe. You take what I say so defensively. If I wanted to say that you where going to hell, I'd tell you, "You are going to hell".

 

I wouldn't want any confusion about something like that at all.......

 

Moose.. I thought you were not preaching?? Seems like you are as closed minded as the rest of us.. even more so because you are not admitting it..

[Hot Coco]

Honestly, I don't see where you guys are getting the idea that he's preaching. And believe me, I'm not a big fan of the religious right by ANY stretch of the imagination...they're all over here in the Bible Belt. BUT, having said that, I honestly don't see that Moose is doing that. He's only stating what works for HIM. He's not telling anyone to do it his way. He's not saying that if we don't, we'll go to hell.

 

Why am I not seeing what you guys are seeing in his posts? It's really a stretch to say he's pushing his religious view and judging. I just don't see it.

[bab]

I agree HC, I just don't get it either.

[Moose]

Hot Coco,

 

This happens every time with them......it's always the same people too.

Moose.. I thought you were not preaching?? Seems like you are as closed minded as the rest of us.. even more so because you are not admitting it..

How do you get I'm preaching?

 

How do you get that I'm closed minded?

 

I'm explaining what works for me. Other people explain what work for them.

 

There was a question of opinion, I gave mine....move on would ya??

 

Quit trying to stir up arguements and bring this around to a religious debate.....

[Hot Coco]

Moose,

 

Yes, it seems that that is what happening here. I don't believe that YOU were trying to make it into a religious debate. And frankly, without naming names, I'm surprised at the (usually) intelligent people on here who are doing this. They're CLEARLY letting their own religious views color what has been presented here by you as nothing more than a statement of fact about what YOU'RE guiding principles are.

 

Had you been pushing your religious views on others, I would have been FIRST in line, believe me, to call you on it. That's always been a real thorn in my side with certain groups. But I just don't see that you've done that at all.

 

You guys really need to step back for a minute and look at this again and be fair to the man. He's as entitled to state his views as we all are. And I don't see him knocking those who believe differently from him.

 

I'm really quite surprised at some of you.

[westernxer]

Moose is cool in my book.

[Moose]

Moose is cool in my book.

Thanks West.