confused696969 Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 I've met this girl, through a friend of a friend and we've partied and such and became really good friends over the course of a couple of years. She is a great friend to me, we talk about lots of stuff, life, relationships, sex and everything in between. We share the same humor, lifestyles, and personality. It's just that she told me that she wants a man thats like me in every way, passionate, funny, and someone she can get along with and hang with the same way she does with me, she just couldnt go ever go out with me because we are friends and it "might" be weird for the friend we met each other through. Is there any chance, or im way past the 'friend' hump and cant get in the relationship part, because i woould rather get into a relationship with a friend that i know allready then get in fresh with someone i hardly know or trust. If i am past the 'friend' hump and cant be in a relationship with this girl, how do i possibly not get to be too good of a friend with a girl to actually start a relationship with one. Any comments welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
AmberAriesMom Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 Friendships turn into more all the time. Don't let this one experience stop you from being a friend first in other relationships. However, with this girl, take no for an answer and enjoy what you have with her. But do date other women. Maybe she'll change her mind....but on her own...please don't you ask her again...or heck, on second thought, did you bring up having a more intimate relationship with her at all? If not, then maybe she was feeling you out to see how you felt about moving to the next level. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 Friendships turn into more all the time. Don't let this one experience stop you from being a friend first in other relationships. You're kidding, right? Few things are more frustrating for a man than to be stuck in the friend zone, when he's expected to be supportive of all her irrational decisions, listen about all the men she dates, and just generally be another girlfriend who happens to have two X chromosomes instead of an X and Y. Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 if you are stuck in the friendship zone and dont want to be there, make a move. lean in and kiss her and see where that takes you . a chance is a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Teimour Radjabov Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 NO. It's over, you have no chance with this girl, trust me, it's done, finito, GAME OVER. This is what happens to guys who focus on Rapport with a girl, rather than attraction THEN rapport/comfort. If you start out with comfort, and then try to kiss her or **** her, of course she will weirded out! This only takes a few hours to call in friendzone, and for you it's been years.... you are screwed bro. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Moai Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 I don't think that you are totally shafted, but you are in for an uphill battle at best. If you pull back a little and become more of a challenge then she might consider dating you, but it's a longshot. But, she could have been feeling you out to see if you'd consider it. The curious thing is her comment about how your dating would be weird for your friend who introduced you? Why does she care? Your friend would get over it. That sounds like an excuse she is using to back you off. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Few things are more frustrating for a man than to be stuck in the friend zone, when he's expected to be supportive of all her irrational decisions, listen about all the men she dates, and just generally be another girlfriend who happens to have two X chromosomes instead of an X and Y. That's some funny !#$@#. I'd be annoyed by the characterization of women if it wasn't, well, partly true. Confused, I wouldn't try to kiss her. I would just cut your losses and be her friend (if you can handle it without getting her back in the future because you feel rejected). I've had a lot of guy friends that hung out for a chance for more. Very disappointing because I have never dated one. If I date someone I ask to start as friends but it's pretty clear we're headed towards a romantic relationship eventually. My male friends and I are just friends. Sure, friends do turn into more sometimes. But in my experience it's never happened. Daphne Link to post Share on other sites
michaelk Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 To me, it sounds like the opportunity for romance may have passed. Either she felt the 'spark' for you early in the relationship and you missed it, or she was never going to feel it. By this point in time, the two of you are almost too familiar for it to happen. It's hard to create excitement, mystery, anticipation, romance, etc. with someone who you already know so well. Having said all that, you need to ask yourself: Can I continue this friendship? Do I want to? If you're going to be miserable trying to carry on, or you'd rather have romance or nothing, then take a chance. Put a bit of pressure on her, either positive (kiss her) or negative (distance yourself), and see how she responds. On the other hand, if the friendship is important to you, I'd recommend you not push things let you lose what you have. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 How many times have we seen this? The cross gender friendship, we are only friends! She says we are only friends, he clearly wants it to be more. Or vice versa. Makes me laugh out loud! People who collect friends of the other sex are, IMHO, just collecting a set of admirers. People who they feed from, feeds their ego's, where are the posters with the "When Sally Met Harry" quotations? Think about your future, her line about the other friend is obviously bullwaste. She is really saying that she wants to keep you around but she doesn't want to go further. You gonna go for that? Good luck if you do, because that will stunt your future relationships and cause you to be a problem with hers. Assuming she even has a problem with telling her new b/f that she can't see him because she is hanging with a good friend, who happens to be another man! That sucks IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 The Friend Zone - easy to enter, impossible to leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 The choice is yours. Either you accept the friendship ( and I would recommend against it ) or you end it and find a gal who sees you as a man, not a male g/f. You will never get out of her friend zone as long as you hang with her. My advice would be to tell her you want more and you can't just wait around when she obviously is fine where things stand. Next time do not become friends with a gal you find attractive. Look for one who has a sexual interest in you and ask for a date. She will get mad at you because you won't do as she wants but that's life. Don't stay there if you can't just see her as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 Friend Zone : You are put there rather quickly and thats where you will stay forever .....as you imagine that she changes her mind....She won't. You are a friend. Find a new playmate , okay ? Link to post Share on other sites
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