xxgnxx Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 I was seeing this guy I developed feelings for him in the course of 6 months. When i went to see him this past week, I found out that he's been seeing another woman. I darted out of there very upset. it's been 3 days since I left but I still feel like crap. I do'nt deal with rejection very well and all I could think of is what a fool I was. I didn't plan to have my emotions involved during the course of our relationship and it snuck up on me. Now I'm this negative type of mentality. i hate hiding that im feeling okay. Inside, my mind is screaming asking myself why why why? At the same time, another side says "you'll be okay, it wasn't even love." But the pain of rejection and being replaced still hurts. How do you deal with rejection? I don't deal well and I want to get over this emotion Link to post Share on other sites
Panhandler Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 sometimes people like to imagine their lover is perfect, to perfect their feeling of self-worth and peace. So they imagine and fantasize that this person likes them just like they like them, and they are in a sort of euphoric dream world. Then when reality comes crashing down, and they see human nature, and all of it's imperfections, it hurts them. You just have to deal with reality, human nature, is quite deceptive and imperfect. Get used to it, boys and girls like to hurt eachothers feelings all the time and play hard to get, or do things to piss the other off. Link to post Share on other sites
Teimour Radjabov Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 Listen, What you focus on = your reality! Even if what you focus on isn't real! So, if you focus on this, which you are, of course you will feel like ****. Change your focus... and don't think about this anymore, it's pointless. You probably even want him more now knowing that he has a girlfriend.. the joys of pre-selection.. lol, that's instinctual, it's not your fault. ;] Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 When you lose someone who didn't do anything really bad to you you have a hard time accepting the finality of the end. You miss them and you hurt from the loss. They are human and even if they didn't intend to hurt you it doesn't make the world seem less gray. I have found that it helped me to replace an ideal image of them in my mind to something not so ideal. Rather than think of them as wonderful I would replace that image to something I don't like or desire. In other words when you think of them replace your old image or them to the one that you don't find pleasing. If you have to think of something repulsive ( like a puss infected acne face on them ) then do it. Your emotions should change from hurt and disappointment to feelings of relief. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 How do you deal with rejection? I drink. But seriously folks... Like you, I know the sting of rejection very very well, and though I'm better at managing it now than I used to be, it's still a paininthea$$. How I deal with it depends on the source. If it's a client that criticizes my work, I have no problem with that because I can use their information to make my work better. If it's an editor that shreds something I've written, same thing. If it's a woman that I have just met and I don't yet have a lot invested in the relationship, then that's ok too, though it still stings a bit. But if it's someone I care for and have known for a long time, especially if they are someone whose opinion I value, then I have to take a long hard look at the situation and try to determine where I went wrong. Teimour Radjabov made the point of, "What you focus on = your reality! Even if what you focus on isn't real!" Yes, that's true, but there's more to it than that. I'd like to put a bit of a spin on that. What you focus on determines what you miss as well. It's like having a stone in your shoe. The sun could be shining, you could have money in your pocket, you could be walking hand-in-hand with your beloved, you have time to spare and feel good about the world... but jeezuz, that damn stone in the shoe! Focusing on the irritation tends to obliterate any sense of the positive things. People are like that, though I don't really know why. So put the feelings of rejection in their proper place. Compartmentalize. Sure, it's a portion of your reality, but only a portion. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
AlmostMarried77 Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 I drink. That one worked for me in the past too. The pain of the hangover the morning after forced me to put things in to perspective. By far and away though it definitely not the best or most recommended way of dealing with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Panhandler Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 People are strange, that is what I tell people if they are playing me like they don't like me. I just say you're a very strange girl, and smirk and leave them be. I know that they don't know me that well if at all, and I just don't care cause I know inside that they are just dumb girls. Link to post Share on other sites
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