Violet Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 Hi, I am confused and hope someone can help explain this to me. I have been seeing this guy for over a year and we have been taking the whole relationship thing pretty slow. Lately we have been seeing more and more of each other. We get along great, laugh alot, have fantastic sex, talk, act goofy together. I knew he had been in a bad relationship prior to meeting me and it hurt him a lot. So, I just kept my own life as usual and took things at his pace because I really care for him and didn't want to scare him away. So far it has brought him closer to me. However the other night he asked me " what are we doing " I told him hanging out enjoying each other, being who we are. He told me he loved me but wasn't or didn't know if he was "in love" with me. He said he was scared and didn't want to hurt me and didn't want to get hurt. I told him I didn't understand what he meant by "love" and "in love" then he said it didn't come out right. We haven't talked about our relationship, we have only told each other how good we feel around each other and how happy we feel together. Mostly because I am afraid to because I don't want to scare him. I care for him deeply and even love him. I am just going with the flow of it all. But I don't want to lose him. He doesn't want to break up or stop seeing each other or slow down. I think the whole girlfriend label freaks him out. I could care less it is what is in his heart that matters to me not some title. He says he considers me his girlfriend and he isn't going anywhere. So what does this mean in guy speak ? Did he just need to get it out there that he is scared. And what does the "girlfriend" thing mean why is it so loaded? Please shed some light. I need some insight because I don't understand. Thanks so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 YOU ASK: "So what does this mean in guy speak ? Did he just need to get it out there that he is scared. And what does the "girlfriend" thing mean why is it so loaded?" It does you absolutely no good to get others' definitions of all this when it is this guy's definitions you require. You need to sit down, talk to him, and ask HIM what he meant by all this. It won't take but a few minutes. We would only be speculating. My guess is that he isn't ready for any kind of special committment, but that's ONLY a guess. Of course he would like you to remain his girlfriend. He obviously cares about you and is getting every benefit he could want from a woman so why change things. I hope you are able to work this relationship out so you are able to meet your own personal goals within its context. If your mind is on committment and marriage and his isn't, give it just a bit more time. Check again and if he hasn't changed or become more clear on his ideas on what he wants, move on. Simple as that. Link to post Share on other sites
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