SoSweet Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Long story short...my x husband and I have been divorce now for 2 years. We were seperated 4 years prior to that making it a total of 6 years since we have lived as husband and wife. I left him. For good reasons.....I think. Since then, we have remained friends. Good parents to our daughter. He went away for the war and came back wanting to work things out. I was in a relationsip with a man that I have been in a relationship with for the last 4 1/2 years. No he was not the reason for our break up. Anyway....I was confused and told my x husband basically no. My husband was seeing his former secretary off and on since our break up. No she is not the reason for our break up either. Neverthess...My x husband has moved back to the same state i live in. We have been spending a lot of time together off and on with our daughter. School functions, cheerleading,etc. The thing is that he moved back with the secretary. I didnt find out he was living with her until about 6 mos before he moved back here. He didnt tell me. Terrible I know. He would always make up excuses why my daughter and I should not visit him when he was living up there. Because of his work, it made since until things started not to add up. When he moved back here he didnt tell me he was bringing her....but he did. He moved back into our old neighborhood which is about 30 minutes from where I live now. I have not met this woman. Neither has our daughter. When my daughter visits him she leaves the home. Only because I asked to meet her before he introduce her to our daughter. He refuses so she leaves the house. My x husband and I were and are very close. We share everything except we dont talk about our relationships. I broke up with the guy I was seeing for two reasons. One he was very inconsiderate and two...well I think I am finally ready to admit that I still love..no I am still in love with my x husband. Now what? He is living with this woman. This past weekend my daughter stayed one weekend night with her Dad. I went to pick her up and walking in their home was like dejavu (sp?). NOt only is it in our old neighborhood, but the house is just like our old house. So here is my question....what do I do now? He finally admitted that he loves her, but says he is still in love with me too. We have spent a lot of years wasting time. Anyone else ever have to deal with this? Can I or we fix it? Help...I am spending every night up crying and praying....wanting to find the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
whereismylifegoing Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 looks like the grass wasn't greener? was it............... have you really thought about taking him back or do you want him back because it bothers you that you broke up with him and he is doing ok with himself? usually when you get married you should make sure he/she is the one. nobody has any family values anymore. this country has turned into a place where real love is non existent. it's all about careers and doing things for self. you broke up with him because he was inconsiderate but that's all? or was there more to it. if that was the only reason, you havn't dated enough jerkoffs. think about it. remember actions speak louder than words. you leaving him and dating somebody else is enough to tell him that he wasn't the person for you. you made your decision now stick with it. mabey if you tell him that you shouldn't have left in the first place, that may help........but a man that has to think about his ex wife (that left him) sleeping with somebody else is pretty hard to turn over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SoSweet Posted November 22, 2005 Author Share Posted November 22, 2005 Apparently you didnt read my posting! I didnt leave him because he was inconsiderate. I didnt say why I left him in my orginial posting. I also, didnt leave him for anyone else. My x boyfriend was inconsiderate...the man I dated years after my split up with my x husband. The relationship I have and the relationship my x husband has came years after we seperated. And I didnt come on here to get negative opinions....I came on for advice. If you dont have a valued opinion then dont post any thing. It appears you have been cheated on....the way your response reads seems like you were talking about your own bitter life. Go back and read my orginial posting again. Maybe it will make sense the second time around. Now, to people that can really help please post your advice. And for the record...I left my x husband because of something he did and he will be the first to admit that. However, I believe he has learned from that and so have I. Link to post Share on other sites
whereismylifegoing Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 oh your right.... i'm sorry you said the other guy was inconsiderate. but i'm not being negative i'm being honest. and my life isn't bitter but a little sour with that last comment you made. so with that said...........have you tried bringing the conversation to the table? like flat out asking him if you could try again? it seems like you are still on good terms with him and he OBVIOUSLY still loves you. he said that. try that....... i have to stop posting here i read these stories after a long night at the bar and makes me want to cry. i wonder if these could happen to me. P.S. i never got cheated on....my girlfriend of five years left me because she needed time...... but i'm an idiot and i still talk to her having no idea what the outcome maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
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