Not sure what to do...

[PPT]

Hi everyone...hope all is well. I am posting here because I am looking for some advice on my relationship issues.

 

I have been with my BF for almost 9 months...we are POLAR opposites...I am very social, talkative...my BF HATES to talk...I like to express my emotions, he wants nothing to do with it at all, and if I DO try to talk to him about things I am feeling (at least with regards to our relationship, not really with anything else)...he gets aggravated with me and tells me how ridiculous I am and how much he hates it when I try to make him talk.

 

I hate this....you know what? I hate it so much that it makes my stomach turn. My BF has NEVER told me he loves me...I gave up waiting for that one a while ago. Don't get me wrong, he is a decent guy. He is very affectionate (more in a romantic, not SEXUAL way...that is a whole other issue..he has an EXTREMELY low sex drive), he will call 3, maybe 4 times a day..more if I don't see him. The problem is that he will call me...but he basically sits there in silence (because he doesn't really like to talk - see the circle I deal with?). He gave me a set of keys to his house a week or so after he moved in...we do almost everything together, have dinner at his father's every Sunday...etc...he rarely makes plans without consulting me first. So I don't think the problem is lack of committment...whenever I am physically with him, there is rarely a time when he is sitting or standing next to me that he is not touching me in some way...he is as affectionate now as the day we started dating.

 

I am really, really confused. I feel as though if you don't TALK to someone, how can you get close to them? Yes, he does all the "boyfriendly" duties of calling, making time to see me, etc...but how great is it when you call and sit there, breathing????? Maybe it is just that I am SUCH a communicator that I struggle so much with someone who isn't...BUT...I interpret these things to mean that he really DOES NOT care in the grand scheme of things, you know?

 

I guess my question is for the guys...but ladies, please, feel free to chime in with your experiences. Judging by the things that I have said, should I just walk away because it is not going anywhere? Or am I just so used to my own ways that I am overlooking sure signs that he really cares. i am starting to feel like he stays with me out of desire to NOT TO HAVE TO look for anything else, you know? And I REALLY DON'T want that...I love him, I do...but I would rather be alone and take my chances if he doesn't love me back...

 

Thanks in advance for feedback..and for taking the time to read this.

 

God bless!

[Buckeyegal]

Have you told him that you love him? If so, what is his response? Many people have a hard time saying those three little words...but then again, many people say it too easily. Perhaps he was brought up in a cold, reserved family, and feels uncomfortable with displaying and expressing his feelings. This may have something to do with his low sex drive as well. You need to have a serious discussion with him, gently try to get him to open up. If refuses to do that, then you'd probably be better off looking elsewhere.

[sparkle]

Calling each other 3 to 4 times a day and hanging out with each other almost every day may just be part of the problem.

 

Maybe part of the reason that he doesn't have much to say because you two are ALWAYS together. Try to cut the phone calls back to once a day, and spending only a few days out of every week together. Looks like he is really attached to you, almost to the point of it seeming a little unhealthy.

 

Give each other plenty of space. Does he still hang out with his male friends? If not, encourage him to do so. And do you hang out with your friends? Spend more time doing that.

 

Maybe not being around each other so much will give you two more to talk about.