My family and dating...HELP!!

[jenna348]

I have recently fallen in love with a person I work with...OUCH! He is the sweetest guy I have ever met, and he loves me too. I told my mom last night that we are in love, and she went off on me. He works in fast food and is not going to school. I am going to college, and my parents feel that he is not smart enough and will not be able to provide for me in the future. The look on her face told me that she believed she had failed in raising me, and it scared me so much. She told me that he is unintelligent and it was like watching "Beauty and the Beast" all over again. She asked me what on earth was I thinking, said I had lost my mind, and that I have noone to compare him to. I respected her opinion, although she has only met him a couple times and has never really even had a conversation with him. I told her I knew, and did not need anyone to compare him to. Plus I have seen other girls and their disrespectful, immature college boyfriends and frequently tell myself how lucky I am. I felt that she had no right to judge him the way she did, but since I respect her, I said I loved her. She just walked away and did not return the love.

He is not the most motivated person because of his parents. They love him very much but did not do the best job as parents. His aunt and uncle raised him more than they did. I did not love him right away. But as time went I learned to, and I encourage him to get a better job and think about what he wants to do in life. My mother did not really give me a chance to tell her that I am not going to marry someone who works in fast food; I am smarter than that and am going to wait until we are both ready. My dad once called him a pinhead behind his back.

He has so many good qualities. He threw me a surprise birthday party, he is completely honest, a good Christian as am I, an excellent money saver, kind to everyone-even people he doesn't know, we have a great time together, and we can tell each other everything. If only I could convince my family. I would have him over, but I have a feeling they do not even want to get to know him. Two of my sisters are married, one to a high school teacher with carpentry and coaching skills, and the other to a smart man who works with computers. I feel like my mother wants me to live up to them. I am so depressed i can't even cry. HELP!

[Outcast]

All you're saying is that your folks don't like him. They haven't forbidden you from seeing him or anything. So see him alone. Your parents may not be able to see the qualities that you see in someone - that's their problem.

 

You sound like a very sensible person who isn't about to jump into doing anything foolish so enjoy his company and don't let your folks' prejudice bother you. If you go out for another year or two and the changes you think might come about do, they'll change their minds about him.