Is it cheating to need a friend?

[lost in space]

OK - many problems with hubby. He has many issues that have caused irreversable damage to our relationship and they just keep happening. Kids are involved (1yr - 12yrs old) so leaving is no longer an option (at least for now).

 

The issues are huge - he kept vital information from me about his past and mental issues he suffers from as a result. I am avid against drugs and the cat has exploded out of the bag that he is addicted to pot. He hides porn addiction and our sex life has dwindled to rare (1-2 times a month is near starving for me). He is a master manipulator and an expert liar.

 

He is a loving father but has become an unresponsive corpse for a friend. I have lost the rare once very deep love for him and replaced it with a roommate affection type scenereo. Trust is gone all together. I know I will get the LEAVE HIM thing but not interested in it right now.

 

We went to counciling but abruptly stopped when it came time for him to talk about him...

 

I am past trying to save the marraige and have accepted that I will just have to learn to deal with the pain somehow..

 

I want to talk with someone real - just talk. Not try to sort out my mess for a life, just talk - I need someone to be interested in me - BADLY. I hope I can offer this someone a friend in return... Never been a cheater and never want to hurt myself or my children with this but NEED A FRIEND - A MALE FRIEND TO FILL THE GAP.

 

I found Love Shack a while back when trying to deal with all of the pain but my hubby stumbled accross it and now knows my user name... I've found it some how theraputic to talk about my pain and anger and read others experiences but now feel exhausted from it all and want to stop trying.

 

I need a friend. I am huge on family life so I focus MOST ALL OF MY TIME here and only have a few close friends that I don't want to drown with my problems. Is this wrong??

 

Everything out there seems to be wheeled around sex - dating - porn... WHere the heck do you go to just meet and talk with someone with no - creepers looking to score or cheat??

 

Please someone respond - I am so desperate. Even a chat room would ease the pain and lonelyness...