Kisar Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 I went to the doctors today for a normal prenatal visit. Doctor stated that he wanted to talk to me..I already knew that I had a tumor on the right side of my ovaries, but he informed me that it seems to be getting larger and larger. He stated that there was a posibility that it was cancerous but that they would not be able to know until after I deliver. Initially we thought it was just a normal fibroid or something but now it is getting out of hand. I told my husband about the fibroid a few montsh ago when we were communicating, he was the one who said that it could potentially turn into cancer because it happened to his sister. She had to undergo chemo and everything. He really scared me, but at the same time showed me no support. I told him that I was sacred and he never repsonded, he just said what are you crying for just deal with it when you know what's happening. Needless to say, I put it on the back burner and now my doctor is really freaking me out. I am not religious or anything but I do believe that God wants me to go right now. I feel like I am being thrown so many axes and that he is telling me that I don't belong here anymore. I am not trying to be a sap, but my world is shattering. In defense of myself. I am a really good person, I am educated, my 6 year old has one of the highest IQ's in my state, I help people, I love people with all of my heart, I am faithful, I can go on and on, but I really am a nice person. I just can't understand what it is about me that made my husband of many years abandon me, my daughter, and our unborn son. Now this scare? I am trying to focus on myself but it is hard to know that someone you spent over 10 years with can walk away without warning and care less whether you are suffering or dyeing even. Link to post Share on other sites
trickynj99 Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 talk to the people that care about you, the people that you care about. there are so many loving and supportive people out there and the fact that he doesnt seem to be there doesnt change who you are.. bad things happen and we have to deal with them and you are really getting hit hard right now but it doesnt change who you are I hope on the medical front from here on out everything turns to good news Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 Aww Kisar! *Huge hugs* First of all, your husband abandon you and your child because HE is the one with the problem. You have to understand that this is not your issue, but it is his. Were you prefect? Probably not, noone is. But right now, him leaving has everything to do with HIM, not you. You have to understand there are two issues, one the relationship that you have participated in, and two the actions HE IS CHOOSING to do. These are his actions and his choices and has nothing to do with you. He's the one who is running from his problems and not taking responsiblity for his responsiblities. This is HIS character flaw, not yours. Second of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your health situation. But I do not believe God doesnt want you here. I think God gives us just enough crap that he knows we can handle. He wouldnt give it to you if you couldnt handle it. I've had a similar situation in August where my mom ended up in the hospital unexpected. I felt my world crushing around me and was close to a nervous breakdown. But then I realized that it's time to stop mourning my marriage and start focusing on other more important things in my life. And I think this is God telling you the same. Right now you have to stop grieving your husband (cos he's a total assclown) and take charge of your life again and start taking care of yourself. You are a very good person. And you have the strength inside of you to make it through this. You will get through this! Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 Aww Kisar! *Huge hugs* First of all, your husband abandon you and your child because HE is the one with the problem. You have to understand that this is not your issue, but it is his. Were you prefect? Probably not, noone is. But right now, him leaving has everything to do with HIM, not you. You have to understand there are two issues, one the relationship that you have participated in, and two the actions HE IS CHOOSING to do. These are his actions and his choices and has nothing to do with you. He's the one who is running from his problems and not taking responsiblity for his responsiblities. This is HIS character flaw, not yours. Second of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your health situation. But I do not believe God doesnt want you here. I think God gives us just enough crap that he knows we can handle. He wouldnt give it to you if you couldnt handle it. I've had a similar situation in August where my mom ended up in the hospital unexpected. I felt my world crushing around me and was close to a nervous breakdown. But then I realized that it's time to stop mourning my marriage and start focusing on other more important things in my life. And I think this is God telling you the same. Right now you have to stop grieving your husband (cos he's a total assclown) and take charge of your life again and start taking care of yourself. You are a very good person. And you have the strength inside of you to make it through this. You will get through this! Everything happens for a reason and we don't question it... Maybe this happening to you is a test to see what you can handle.. Take care of yourself and your family that is your main priority right now!!! Forget your inconsiderate h and move on and live your life and don't think one second about that loser!! You will make it through i promise God will give you the strength!! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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