Sloppy Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 I am just wondering... Once I got past the worst heart-break part and to an easier stage of dealing with the break-up, I felt like this is my chance to improve myself, to figure what is going on and why I follow certain patterns - in shortcut to work on my self, take a break from life for a while and focus on me only. I am not sure how to do that. I feel like if I don't grab this chance of being in sensitive and vulnerable stage and make the best out of it, I will never be able to do it again. I have been meditating and writing a journal, analyzing the choices I make and my behavior, changing my habbits, trying to be open-minded and try new things. I feel like I need to go really deep into my soul and start from there. I know it will be painful (and it has been) and I am not afraid of the pain. I am ready to face it head first. But I just don't feel like I am doing it 'right'. Where do I start? What am I missing? Do you have any experience with your self? Have you gone through similiar urges and situation? I don't believe in God, but sometimes it feels like He/She/It is right here. Life has been a bit strange lately (in a good way)...just the way things have been working out. I try to give my self up to 'higher power', but that's not working too well since I don't fully believe in it. I feel trapped. Thanks for your insights. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 i know what your going through, im going through that my self..and whats different is i am afraid of the pain...i try not to be but im a wuss lol. right now there really is no good place to start but to do what you think your doing is right..bc right now you will feel a little lost. I of course do...one day when the pain is gone you will be right where you belong, things will be werid and kind of hazy....i guess thats what pain does to do you and it really sucks....especially your first experience with it because you are so incredibly loss and confused . i think your doing the right thing right now....do what you usally do...and you can improve..dont do anything drastic , because thats not who you will turn out to be Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 I am doing all the self help stuff too.I am also starting to get in touch with my spiritual side which I have never explored before.I try meditation and basically things that I never tried before.Its amazing how lazy we get on working to better ourselves when we are with a patner. I guess another key to a successful relationship is to both partners better yourselves always not get stuck in a comfort zone and rely on the other person for happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 Its amazing how lazy we get on working to better ourselves when we are with a patner. I guess another key to a successful relationship is to both partners better yourselves always not get stuck in a comfort zone and rely on the other person for happiness. wow that is so true, maybe those break ups slap us in the face to remind us that" were worth it too"....that is defiently a good point im so glad you said that... Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 23, 2005 Share Posted November 23, 2005 Actually, Dr. Phil's 'Self Matters' is a pretty nifty tool to help you gain insights into yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sloppy Posted November 24, 2005 Author Share Posted November 24, 2005 Actually, Dr. Phil's 'Self Matters' is a pretty nifty tool to help you gain insights into yourself. I don't know how I feel about Dr. Phil, but I will give it a shot. Keeping open mind, right Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 It takes a traumatic event for people to open up and self search. I never used to believe people when they said "You will become a better person for it" after a loss.... I guess this is what it means.... Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 i think you become a better person after a lost of bf/gf??? what about death.....doesnt that scar you for life? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sloppy Posted November 24, 2005 Author Share Posted November 24, 2005 i think you become a better person after a lost of bf/gf??? what about death.....doesnt that scar you for life? I, personally, think that all traumatic events will scar you for life. It is just up to you if you make that scar your accessory, of if you are ashamed and bitter about it. Of course, some scars will be bigger and uglier than others. I believe that there is always at least one good thing about even the worst situation. Take up on the challenge, find it, work on it and make it shape you into a better you. Sometimes it's so draining and tirening, sometimes it feels like an impossible task, but it's that much more rewarding if you manage to make it into something good. I am still struggling to find the good about my recent situation. I know what was good before, but not what's good now. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 24, 2005 Share Posted November 24, 2005 nothing about my relationship was ever really healthy...but its still so incredibly hard and hurtful that things got so messed up the way they did..i dont want it to scar me... i do want to fall in love again Link to post Share on other sites
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