Overbearing mother - Religion issues

[ANH11]

My fiance and I were supposed to get married almost 3 years ago. My mother is an extreme Catholic, and although I was raised Catholic, I am not currently practicing the religion. My fiance was married while in the service and ended up divorced 3 months later - we ended up calling the wedding off because she would not leave us alone - she kept telling me that I need to MAKE him get an annulment and even called our diocese and had them write him a letter and send the paperwork to our house. It ended up being a huge fight between the both of them. I told my mom that I was not going to make him get an annulment, he is not Catholic, the ex-wife is not Catholic, and they were not married in a Catholic church - not to mention, I am not practicing.

 

So now after three years - our wedding date is planned - April 29, 2006. And AGAIN my mother is butting heads with both of us. We have decided (TOGETHER!) to have the wedding at the Christian church in town and she can not accept that! The first thing she said to me when I told her we had a date was "where is the wedding" and the second was "so there is not going to be a priest involed at all" then she proceeded to tell me how my marriage was never going to work out and we were doomed and going to hell - I can not take this! That conversation was followed by a phone call to my fiance telling him how I am going to be just like her and how I am going to want to raise my kids etc - He was very respectful and told her that we have decided on the plans together and that is what we are going to follow through with.

 

I do not want to fight anymore over this! I also do not want it to be a huge fight tomorrow when we all get together for Thanksgiving. I am not very good at confronting my mom (I am an only child if that sheds light into why she is acting this way) but I am going to have to do something and my future hubby is very upset with her trying to force her religion on him (he is not a fan of the religion). Does anyone have any advise? I know my mom has good intentions, but it is really getting on my nerves and his. Any advice would be wonderful.

[Enema]

It's unfortunate, but in my experience there is very little you can do to make this type of person see "reason".

 

Their way is the right way and that's just the way it is.

 

You could try giving her an ultimatum, explaining that you and your fiance are adults, you have different views than your mother and you will organize the wedding according to Your desires not hers and that if she will not be happy for her, she does not have to come.

 

In the long run, it's your wedding, your life, your fiance, your day and your happiness... don't compromise that.