Boyfriend is acting suicidal

[QsGirl]

Ok, here it goes. I have been dating my bf for a year and 1/2. We have had our ups and downs, including dealing with his addictive behaviour. Now, he recently was convicted by the Bible and joined the SDA Religion. He became arrogant, judgemental and basically anal! He gave up porn, video games, smoking, sex, tv, radio, meat, eggs, milk, etc, etc. This was a huge transition for the both of us. Needless to say, it eliminated many things that we did together. Ok....now, during these passed 4 days, he bought himself a video game, smoked, masturbated, ate meat, and has been eating junk food. Oh and he dishonoured the Sabbath by shopping and masturbating. Ok. All these "sinful" activities were done while I was out of town. Now, I got back into town and he is acting all righteous and let's me know that if I kiss him to much, that he gets turned on and that I should stop. So...it is my fault if we "fornicate". This is annoying, than he keeps saying that he is depressed, and that Jesus should just kill him. He sees no point to his existence and feels like an extreme failure. I try to give him words of encouragement where I say, Jesus is not killing you because he has a plan for you. My bf claims that he is a horrible person because of his weakness and wants to die. Basically, suicidal expressions. I am concerned and don't want it to be too late before I do or say something. This is not really a question, but just a way to vent a little. Any advice is welcome.

[Outcast]

Send him to his pastor for counseling. You can't fix this.

[newbby]

i agree you cant fix this yourself. im not sure about what would be the best place to help him though.

[d'Arthez]

You cannot fix it. Perhaps a pastor can help him. These ideas are anything but easy to change - and even though he seems to be conflicted about things, he will see that only as a proof of his weak nature, and not as something he should seek help for.

 

Relationships that are changing drastically under the influence of sudden conversion in religion ared hard, if not impossible to maintain, especially since he is trying to live up to those ideals.

The way he is treating you is not right, so you may want to consider getting out of the relationship. If not now, then in the future. He will / is punishing you for the conflicts he is going through himself. And blaming his "sins" on you. "Sins" he is engaging in himself regardless whether or not you are present.

[slubberdegullion]

Agreed to all of the above. He needs professional help. I don't know if a pastor would be the right choice, but at least he'll probably be more likely to see a pastor than a professional counsellor.

 

By the way, what's SDA Religion?

[westernxer]

By the way, what's SDA Religion?

 

That's what I wanna know, so I can avoid it.

[ReluctantRomeo]

By the way, what's SDA Religion?

 

I'm guessing Seventh Day Adventist - they're very strict.

[westernxer]

I'm guessing Seventh Day Adventist - they're very strict.

 

That makes sense, especially with the ban on meat. For a minute there, I was thinking FDA with all the food references.

[ReluctantRomeo]

For a minute there, I was thinking FDA with all the food references.

 

Bureaucracy goes religion... that's scary

[d'Arthez]

Bureaucracy goes religion... that's scary

I would not be surprised if the European Commission had plans in that area. :eek:

[QsGirl]

That's what I wanna know, so I can avoid it.

Yes, it's the Seventh Day Adventist Religion. I agree they have strict rules, but the rules are almost impossible to keep, even by highly devoted SDAs. Hence, the whole "I'm a failure and I am weak" syndrome.

[ReluctantRomeo]

the rules are almost impossible to keep, even by highly devoted SDAs. Hence, the whole "I'm a failure and I am weak" syndrome.

 

Alternatively, they cheat and pretend... rule-based religion just doesn't cut it for me.