strange situation

[Quentz]

I've been seeing a girl for two months and we are both seriously in love. The trouble is that she has been lied to in past relationships and she now trusts no-one. Recently after much soul-searching she decided to trust me and believe in me. I have never lied to her about anything, but she still doubts what i say and doesn't totally believe me when i've been out with friends that i haven't been cheating.

 

This is possibly causing another problem:

 

Although we have interests along the same lines and have a powerful love, we often have trouble talking in places like restaurants or if one of us comes home from work (we live in a shared house). She describes the feeling by saying that she is bursting to tell me things and see what i think about things, but something in her stomach stops her. I feel the same too.

 

She worries about us all the time and has recently said that she doesn't want me to be imprisoned with her as life is too short. Also, every couple of days she tries to push me away by starting an argument, even though she knows this will hurt me, she cant stop herself.

 

We both really want to make this work, but it feels like such a struggle at the moment.

 

Do any of you lovely people have any thoughts on this?

[Ashesmum]

You've only been dating for a short time. And usually knowing the bad things you do already in the relationship doesn't look positive in the future for the relationship. Do you really want to have these problems all the way down the road in the future? You both need to go to couple counseling. Get some help to find out her problems. She'll never deal with her problems if she doesn't figure out why she's always doing it. It's not fair to you either. Good luck.

I've been seeing a girl for two months and we are both seriously in love. The trouble is that she has been lied to in past relationships and she now trusts no-one. Recently after much soul-searching she decided to trust me and believe in me. I have never lied to her about anything, but she still doubts what i say and doesn't totally believe me when i've been out with friends that i haven't been cheating. This is possibly causing another problem:

 

Although we have interests along the same lines and have a powerful love, we often have trouble talking in places like restaurants or if one of us comes home from work (we live in a shared house). She describes the feeling by saying that she is bursting to tell me things and see what i think about things, but something in her stomach stops her. I feel the same too.

 

She worries about us all the time and has recently said that she doesn't want me to be imprisoned with her as life is too short. Also, every couple of days she tries to push me away by starting an argument, even though she knows this will hurt me, she cant stop herself. We both really want to make this work, but it feels like such a struggle at the moment. Do any of you lovely people have any thoughts on this?

[sparkle]

You need to sit her down and firmly (but nicely) tell her that you do not deserve this from her. Tell her that you deserve to be treated better and you want to be with someone that fully trusts you and feels comfortable around you. Tell her that you want someone who isn't going to become paranoid everytime you go out with your friends.

 

Tell her that regardless of what has happened to her in the past, you are NOT one of those people. And if she can't trust you even though you have done absolutely nothing to hurt her, then she's with the wrong person. Tell her if she can't start with a clean slate and put a little faith in you, then you don't want to be with her.

 

After you've had this talk with her...and if things are still the same...and if this relationship is giving you a big headache rather than a wonderful feeling, get out of it soon.