Does anyone think I have a second chance?

[taylor3205]

My ex told me he no longer loves me, but he still cares a great deal about me. He left me 6 weeks ago and has since been partying hard, drunk most nights, out over the weekends. Which he rarely done when in the 7 years we have been together. He has flirted with other people and even kissed them. Although he said he didnt take it further as he was not ready but he would eventually. But then he still wants to remain friends. He said that he misses talking to me, that he wants to come round and visit me for a chat and a cuppa now and again and wants to know Im ok. He keeps saying he has no feelings for me romantically anymore and acts as though leaving me was the best thing he ever done. He said he enjoys just doing what he wants, when he wants with no ties.

 

But other things he has said also said include, he doesent want to do anything phsyically with me as his feelings for me might come back, he is not ready to see other people, he actually phoned me today and said he would come round to take the dog out and see me on sunday. If he were to come back it wouldnt be to the person I am right now. We were talking the other day and he said that he was sick of everyone as they are only happy when he is doing what they want and as soon as he didnt they werent happy. He said he would contact me more if most of our conversations didnt turn round to the subject of 'us'. He enjoys talking to me and likes me as a person but he doesent want to be with me. I asked him if he did meet someone else then what would he do if they didnt like him coming round to see me, he said they would have to take him as he is and if they didnt like it then that was their problem. He also said that if I found it too hard just being friends then it was my call. I was asking him if really truly deep down he still didnt have feelings for me the other day and tears came to his eyes after saying no and he said he had to go and became distressed and then left.

 

I really do want him in my life, I love him. But I want him back, I will allways want more than friendship and he knows it. I really dont want to cut him out of my life completely as I want him with all my heart. Then again, I dont want to be just friends. How can you just leave someone after 7 years and then just want to pop round to see them every so often for a cuppa?? I know it was hard for him to break up with me and he was as upset as I was with the whole situation.

 

He also said that at one point when he ever thought of a life without me he would cry but now he doesent. I would do anything to have him back in my life. I am totally and utterly lost without him. People tell me if it was to be, it will be and just wait it out. I find it so hard not breaking down when he calls, today I didnt break down. I want to be strong and be happy when I am with him and talk to him so he sees the confident happy me and he might miss it, as I know that me breaking down makes me look weak and that is unnatractive. I aked him the other day what he would feel like if I met someoen else and he said happy for me. That hurt soo much. Is it me or does he sound as though he is unsure? or is that just me hoping? Is there still a chance?? I really hope there is.

[JosiePosie]

I feel for you, because I know how hard it is. This guy isn't being fair to you. You are going to have to tell him straight up that it is either "all or nothing", because he will continue this until you put a stop to it. Until such a time that you are ready to be friends on a platonic level, he is going to have to give you time and space to heal. Because 7 years is a long time, he cannot expect you to switch modes when it is suitable for him.

[taylor3205]

I feel for you, because I know how hard it is. This guy isn't being fair to you. You are going to have to tell him straight up that it is either "all or nothing", because he will continue this until you put a stop to it. Until such a time that you are ready to be friends on a platonic level, he is going to have to give you time and space to heal. Because 7 years is a long time, he cannot expect you to switch modes when it is suitable for him.

 

If I gave him an ultimatum I know the answer right now would be nothing. He is prepared to give me time and space, but I dont want to loose him. I will fight to the bitter end to make things work out. I cant let go, I dont want to let go. If he thought I didnt want to spend time with him, he may think I dont care. I do care.

[jayteresa]

All I can say from past experience is that he probably needs you still for emotional security, your still like his blanket and he is used to you being there for him, this could all change if he finds someone else then he will more than likely drop you as quick as that and move on to the next. If he is really what you want then carry on fighting, but always be prepared for the worst.

Sadly men are not as emotional as us and can move on suprisingly easy with no feeling of guilt or remorse. I wish I could give you the magic answer, but sadly I am still searching for that one myself!

Just be strong and keep positive, if he is truely worthy of you he will be back, otherwise one day you will meet someone else, he will regret it and you will wonder what you ever saw in him!