mememememe Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 I don't know if I suffer from it or not, but sometimes I feel SOOO alone and NO ONE understands or suspects it. On the outside, and mostly on the inside, I have "everything" going for me. I help others, love people, make them smile. I got blessed with very good looks and guys approach me often. Except the ones I want are intimidated or maybe they think I"m weird because I dress differently and I'm a free spirit and friendly, etc. but the truth is I am so afraid of rejection that I am passive aggressive. I am so confident with so many things...except my fear of rejection. I feel like it cuts me so deep that I avoid dating all together. I recently had a very well-known person in the entertainment industry as me out and I did the whole passive-agressive thing AGAIN. We went on one date and that was it. I'm too afraid of getting hurt so I end up losing them before getting a chance to date. Besides that, I have lots of friends and acquaintances who care about me and me them....but no matter how many and how great, it can't fill this emptiness I sometimes feel inside. I don't get it b/c I am always in the public eye, I'm getting into acting, etc., people think I have it all. But I feel like such a misfit all the time. I never fit in growing up. My self-image is F-ed but my confidence is all there. I don't understand it. My thoughts and feelings are totally contradictory, too. Is that a condition or something??? anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mememememe Posted November 25, 2005 Author Share Posted November 25, 2005 I also want to add that I am completely paranoid. I see a shrink, but I don't think she can tap into me. It's so sad, I have it so "together" in therapy...I come up with all the solutions on the spot b/c I am good at that, but then they hit me in the back of the head when I least expect them to. I am paranoid about what others think and say about me. WHY?? Part of me could care LESS about what they think, and the other part is overactive. I feel like people hate me sometimes. Maybe there are just triggers, though...b/c I can walk into a crowded room alone (which I do a lot) and talk up the whole room and have the best time... ALONE. Then in other places, like where I went to highschool, I want to crawl in a hole. Maybe it's the holidays. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 I see a shrink, but I don't think she can tap into me. Shrinks are not trained in mind-reading. If you genuinely want to experience life differently, then you have to step up to the job of working with the shrink by telling her all your thoughts. You will never get your problem solved if you don't participate in the solution. Link to post Share on other sites
jasmine111 Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 I dont know... i definitely wouldnt call depression a disease like so many other people, thats ridiculous (some people even say homosexuality is a disease...) i have pretty much the same problem as you, im paraniod about what people think about me and sometimes i really dont care. i also have lots of friends and aqquaintances, but there are many times when i feel extremely lonely. but i dont like shrinks, i dont trust them Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 i definitely wouldnt call depression a disease like so many other people, thats ridiculous You can call it 'pink ducks' if you like, however it has now been realized that depression is a failure of your body's chemistry - and that's not really different from diabetes so it certainly classifies as a disease. Link to post Share on other sites
jasmine111 Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 oh i wasnt sure that it had to to with the chemicals in your body i thought the pharmeceutical industry just wanted to make money off anti-depressant drugs, i also heard there have been cases where kids in highschool were treated with medication because they were diagnosed with depression and it made them worse and led to suicide Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 anti depressants certainly can make people worse, but it doesnt mean that depression is not a physical illness. you can overdose on paracetamol but it doesnt mean headaches arent a physical illness. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 by the way i dont personally believe that anti depressants are the answer. there are lots of natural alternatives and natural healing for both body and mind out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mememememe Posted November 25, 2005 Author Share Posted November 25, 2005 thanks guys, however I'm more interested in the types of FEELINGS depression brings on. if anyone can elaborate on feelings/thoughts they have, I would appreciate it. one minute i am fine, the next I find it hard to get off of my couch. i have to get excited about something in order to do so. little things get me really down, like if a guy I really like stops calling or something. i start thinking abot all that is wrong instead of all that is right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mememememe Posted November 25, 2005 Author Share Posted November 25, 2005 thanks guys, however I'm more interested in the types of FEELINGS depression brings on. if anyone can elaborate on feelings/thoughts they have, I would appreciate it. one minute i am fine, the next I find it hard to get off of my couch. i have to get excited about something in order to do so. little things get me really down, like if a guy I really like stops calling or something. i start thinking abot all that is wrong instead of all that is right. Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 mememememe, There is probably more going on than depression.You seem to have deep insecurity. That is different than depression. But depression can result from the isolation of insecurity. There was a book out some time ago that called people such as yourself unaffirmed. Meaning that the emotional development was lacking or not complete. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 thanks guys, however I'm more interested in the types of FEELINGS depression brings on. if anyone can elaborate on feelings/thoughts they have, I would appreciate it. one minute i am fine, the next I find it hard to get off of my couch. i have to get excited about something in order to do so. little things get me really down, like if a guy I really like stops calling or something. i start thinking abot all that is wrong instead of all that is right. Do you have some very stressful things going on in your life? What's triggering your feelings. Make a list for yourself. I suffer from an anxiety disorder (I get panic attacks, though not as bad as I used to, now it's more just a build up of anxiety and I feel anxious at times for no real good reason) and had some mild depression. Never had to go on Meds though, so for me, that's good. I'm not a pill popper. I am seeing a therapist and doing CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) which has helped me alot. Maybe you could benefit from this kind of therapy. It's all about learning about how to control and change your mind to be more positive. The mind controls so much of how we feel. I know for me, when I've had my bad days, bad thoughts and negative feelings hit me. I try my best to override those thought patterns, they aren't worthy of me! I accept a bad day as just that and tell myself tomorrow will be better. Noone is happy all the time, but if you're feeling down and out most of the time, then you have to find out what it is - Either because of a situation in your life that isn't good, or it's hormones, weather related, (S.A.D), etc... Then you can face it and deal with it. Talking to a therapist will help you cope and learn how to handle your fears, your insecurities in life. We all have them! The older I get, the more I realize NOONE has a perfect life. We all have s*** in the closet that effects us and some deal with it head-on, some pretend it's not there and try to live life. I did that for a while and it caught up to me...Hense the anxiety disorder. IT was my body's way of telling me to STOP and deal with my issues and my health instead of just going on and not acknowlegding it. Hope this helps and please, one thing...Don't isolate yourself. Reach out, call a friend, talk to your family. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 mememememe, PM me if you can. My Master's thesis was on depression, and I'll gladly send a PDF file to you if you'd like. It may help. Link to post Share on other sites
jasmine111 Posted November 25, 2005 Share Posted November 25, 2005 I can be a little sensitive about small things like a guy not calling and thinking about it all wrong. I guess im a bit insecure. Im in my teens and ive noticed the difference with teens and adults is that problems (especially social ones) bother teens a lot more and they get way more emotional because they are focused on the present. They think their life is over, but adults know that life goes on and there will be better days. That always helps me, so i dont spend my time crying into my pillow like some hopeless teenager. But i dont know how old you are..... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 by the way i dont personally believe that anti depressants are the answer. there are lots of natural alternatives and natural healing for both body and mind out there. Meds are fine if they work, but they work better with therapy as well. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 oh i wasnt sure that it had to to with the chemicals in your body i thought the pharmeceutical industry just wanted to make money off anti-depressant drugs, i also heard there have been cases where kids in highschool were treated with medication because they were diagnosed with depression and it made them worse and led to suicide Jasmine, there have been reported cases of that - and people have said that Prozac, for instance, increases aggression and has resulted in suicide. Someone taking anti-depressants under proper medical supervision could use their increased levels of energy and motivation to make positive changes with the help of counselling and other forms of support. Unfortunately, there's no guarantee that every person put on meds will use their increased levels of energy in a positive manner If, for instance, a potentially suicidal person is put on meds without receiving appropriate ancillary treatment or support, then there's a risk that they'll simply expend that increased energy on preparing a suicide plan or acting out aggressive thoughts and feelings. This is where something like cognitive behavioural therapy - which encourages people to address faulty/negative perceptions they have about themselves and the world - is extremely useful for someone who has been put on meds and requires some assistance in positively channeling their increased physical and mental energy. Link to post Share on other sites
Black Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 The same as happiness just the opposite. Link to post Share on other sites
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