Never been in a relationship, but I've always had a thing for a girl at work...

[Den1985]

Hi, I'm new to this site just looking for some help with some stressful/troubling times I've been going through.

 

I'm 20, and have never been in a relationship. I've always had really awesome friends and just never felt the need to get involved with a girl....until I got my job. I've been working at the same job for the past 3 years. A few days after I got hired this girl got hired also. I had NEVER even been truly "attracted" to a girl until I met her. Since the very first day I met her I have just been flat out crazy about her. In the past 3 years there have been a few other girls I've kind of had feelings for, but she's always been in my mind. When these other girls didn’t really "work out" the feelings for her come back stronger and stronger each time. I'm not going to sit here and explain all the different feelings I have, but I just don't know what to do. We have been friends for the past 2-ish years and I'm so grateful that I'm friends with her. But if I were to tell her how I felt about her, I don't want to risk loosing that friendship because of things becoming awkward. She has a BF (of a few months) at the moment, and I don't want to mess anything up, but I'm just confused. I'm just stuck in a really hard position and don’t know what to do. I know everybody says "don’t **** where you eat", and with her being a co-worker, that saying applies, but like one of my favorite movie quotes says “the juice is worth the squeeze”. Any help on what to do would be greatly appreciated.

[Yamaha]

You have blown it by becoming her friend. Anything more is out of the question ( with her ). You will have to realize that when women become comfortable with you ( as in friendship ) the possibility of romance is gone.

It sucks but you have time to learn and don't repeat the same mistake.

 

When you see another girl you like don't take the friends route but let her know you like her as a women. Women will understand this and be attracted to it. Don't get timid or be ashamed for having sexual desires for her. She will appreciate your honesty and be flattered, even if she says no.

[Den1985]

I've heard exactly what you said so many times before, and I know your probably right, but its like I just cant push it aside like I should. I'm not trying to sound like a pimp (because I sure as hell know that I'm not) but almost every day I talk to girls who I could probably get somewhere with in a relationship. But I never do because this girl is always on my mind and its like I dont even want to consider taking anyone besides her. I've been able to push other girls I've liked before aside when I've learned something wont work out, but its different with her. Since we first met, it just seems like theres been just the tiniest amount of chemestry between us, but I've never had the balls to really find out, or try to take it a step further. Right now I'm just going through one of those times...

[diana_me]

As a general rule, don't make a mess in your own backyard. ;-)

[Devildog]

So you have been working at this place since you were 17? Now, in general, yeah, don't $hit where you eat, but speaking of eating, do you happen to work at a fast food place? Is that what you have in mind for your career? So what do you really have to lose by a realtionship with a co-worker in that kind of situation?

 

I will say this, friend or not, until you do something you will never get this girl out of your mind. If you don't do something and get an answer, you will always be wondering "what if?" Sure you might end up dating someone else, might get married, but even then you will still have moments where she will pop into your head. Unresolved situations have a tendency to do that.

 

Take care of this situation while you are still young enough to be impetuous.