What Do Men Feel When They Look At Other Women????

[Niccigirl]

Ok guys i've bin having problems with my boyfriend, Since we started going out 20months ago he decided to lead me to beleive he was some1 he isnt, he would tell me that i'm the only girl he ever wants to look at, has no interest in other girls and i knew how his friends acted and how all other men act around women but he convinced me that he was different. He is a very sweet and lovely person anyway so it wasnt hard to beleive.

 

A few weeks ago i discovered all of the girls he's bin starin at on the internet, i was outraged, to cut it short, i cried, got insecure, he told me i was better, he just does it for no reason n he'd rather watch t.v than do it, i felt lied to, betrayed, like i didnt evn know him. My sweet (was actually extremely innocent b4 me), lovely boy was actuall every other man in the world. My issues with this was that i felt manipulated, he'd decided to make me beleive he was something else, make me fall in love with that person and then take him away.

We managed to resolve most of this by spending time together and him answerin evry question i had completely honestly so i could no who he was and his outlook on women, we went on the net and i was askin him which of them he fancied, just to get used to the new him, the one thats attracted to other women. I didnt have a clue b4, he wouldnt ever say whether a woman was attractive in general to other men let alone him. Ive also spoke to men and it seems very hard to understand why we have so many issues with this, we dont feel good enough for our men, not adeqate if they feel the need to look at naked women, especially when he made me beleive that i was so beautiful to him that every other girl in the world is ugly through his eyes.

 

So the point i'm at now is trying to get my head around the fact that he thinks i am better looking, sexier +more attractive than carmen electra, denise richards, beyonce etc etc. Getting over that he told me that when he goes out he finds other women attractive. I understand he loves me and only wants me, that he probably thinks that i'm the sexiest and that men just like looking at women, but what i want to know is...

 

What do men think wen they're looking at the women? he says nothing just looks at them for a couple of seconds finds them sexy then forgets about them. But when a guy finds a girl sexy, is he thinking about sex? He told me he finds all sorts of qualities attractive in women tall, short, cleavage, dress sense, blonde, brunnette, different combinations do it for him, does it mean anything that he's thinks girls who look the opposite to me are sexy? i have developed a lot of paranoia over the way i look now, i'm on hotornot.com as 9.1/10 so i'm not bad but he loves breasts and i'm a small 32B, he looks at carmen electra and girls cleavages in clubs, yet still says i'm the sexiest and my breasts are perfect.

 

I'm so confused, i no i cant change him neither do i want to, as he was saying that he wouldnt ever look again but i think he would just be lying to me and him self if this is wot he enjoys doin. So i'm trying to accept him for who he is now, can i ever go out with him and not be paranoid or jealous over prettier girls, i dont want to turn into that girlfriend but thats wot hes doin 2me. I physically hate myself, i havnt eaten properly 4a week, just cereal n a peice of fruit a day coz of this n i no i'm gettin ill, i no i'm skinny i can begin to c where eatin disorders start.

Guy's can i beleive wot he's sayin now? or do u think he'll fabricate more things so it doesnt hurt as much? my major issue is now trust, as he's covered this up from the begininng, could he b covering anything else up?

 

I'm not one of those girlfriends.... i'm not, i wanted to watch porn together, asked him for a threesome with another girl, i really fancy gwen stefani and have tld him, i wanted to make a porn video with him, he knew he could of told me but he said that he lied about not wanting to do these things so i'd beleive he was someone else!

 

AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP!!!!!!!!

Advice to all men, let ur women no about looking at other women and make her see that all men do it, preferably from the start, older women will already know, i'm nearly 20 and have experience the worst characteristics of some men before and was jaded when i met my boyfriend but he manipulated me into loving him, dont ever lie about an aspect of your life especially if u wanna keep her, if you respect her u'll let her no who u r underneath, if its true love she'll prob. tell u everything u owe her the same, it'll make u happier and she wont turn into your nagging mother.

[Merin]

IMO it would be more un-natural to NOT find other people attractive... just because your BF looks and/or finds other people attractive does NOT mean he doesn't love you, or that he doesn't find you attractive.

 

IMO (again) it is unrealistic to think that your mate will (or should) find everyone else who isn't you unattractive.

 

While I can understand your not wanting your BF to be gawking and staring, and for real he should have more respect for you then to be doing that in your presence (and that isn't to say he should be droolin like a fool when your not around) but EVERYONE finds other people attractive even when they are involved with someone else... that is human nature.

[Yamaha]

Yes, he's thinking of sex when he's looking at these other women. Should it bother you? A picture or a fantasy should not bother you unless he becomes obsessed.

Don't you find other men attractive? (but you have no intention of doing anything but look)

 

If he comments on women in your presence then he is just a pig and you should not waste you time on swine.

[Craig]

Speaking for myself only. When I look at a pretty woman's picture or in a club I don't "feel" anything on a high emotional level. On a lower lever I might "feel" sexually turned on by her appearance. I might "think" about what it would be like to have sex (not make love) with her but recognize that as a fantasy and would not do so even if she offered it to me.

 

If I'm in a relationship all of the above is true but the fact that I'm in a relationship stops me from approaching her--I'm a one woman man.

 

That you consider yourself opposite to these women that your bf looks at is probably not really true. Speaking for myself, I like the shape of a woman and they come in different sizes. Size and color is not the same as shape. Thin women and heavy women all have the shape of a woman and I find the shape attractive.

 

Women that don't want their SO's to find other women attractive surprise me. How can he find you attractive if he doesn't also find other women attractive? He might only have love for you but that doesn't mean he is blind even if that is what he says.

[johan]

IMO it would be more un-natural to NOT find other people attractive... just because your BF looks and/or finds other people attractive does NOT mean he doesn't love you, or that he doesn't find you attractive.

 

IMO (again) it is unrealistic to think that your mate will (or should) find everyone else who isn't you unattractive.

 

While I can understand your not wanting your BF to be gawking and staring, and for real he should have more respect for you then to be doing that in your presence (and that isn't to say he should be droolin like a fool when your not around) but EVERYONE finds other people attractive even when they are involved with someone else... that is human nature.

 

Who is this "Merin" person posting here? We used to have a Merin, but that was long ago. I'm going to need to see some ID.

 

I like to look at women. When I'm with a blonde, brunettes catch my eye. And vice versa. It's a fact of life with guys. It's a matter of character whether a guy would actually ever cheat, but no guy keeps his eyes to himself. Women don't either.

[slubberdegullion]

What do men think wen they're looking at the women?

Well, what does a guy think of when he looks at a beautiful painting, or an exquisite car, or a stunning piece of architecture?

But when a guy finds a girl sexy, is he thinking about sex?

Maybe, but it's not always the case. Sometimes it's just nice to enjoy the visual.

does it mean anything that he's thinks girls who look the opposite to me are sexy?

Nope, doesn't mean a thing. Beauty comes in all forms.

[Outcast]

Oh come ON. You will never convince me that you don't look at Brad Pitt or some boy band guy or other famous guys and not think them hot or sexy. But that doesn't stop you from wanting or loving your boyfriend, now does it?

[RecordProducer]

Don't worry, his dick gets up just to see the girl better with his its one eye on top of its head!

[makaze]

You shouldn't feel threatened by thoughts/fantasies. I understand your issue is that you were led to believe he was 'different'. The fact that he told you he is 'not' like that could mean lots of things. First of all, those girls most likely mean nothing to him compared to you so he wants to emphasize that by telling you these things and wants to make you feel special because to him you are. Another reason is, it's just not a usual thing to say to your girlfriend that you sometimes imagine sex with other girls. I mean, there's honesty and then there's just pointless insensitive blunt honesty. I don't think he was just trying to sweet-talk you and be sneaky about it.

 

It's good if you can talk about it with him if he feels comfortable about it.

[johan]

What I think about when I check out a girl: "Is my girlfriend watching me?"

[whichwayisup]

Ha, I actually have pointed out women to my hubby if he isn't looking. I'm not threatened by it and he isn't one to oogle and ahhhhh. Infact, recently I pointed out (well not POINTED) a woman crossing the road and told him to check out her boobs. She was like DDD!! We just laughed about it.

 

I look at men, but I don't get turned on by it. Some women do, but I don't. I like to look at people, not just men. It's nice to see a good looking couple walking down the street. It's neat to see a woman with a good bounce (which I always comment if she's real or fake, we play it is real game alot in the car) and also for me, I like to see hot men. This has nothing to do about my love for my husband, this is called HUMAN NATURE. We all look and we like to be looked at by others. No big deal.

[Milo]

Hey, it's nice that you mentioned looking at hot couples, wwiu. When I was salsa dancing with my friend from work a while ago, there was this couple who were just awesome to watch on the dance floor. She had long, brown hair and was just stunning. Now that was nice.

[whichwayisup]

I love hair, so that is something I notice on both men and women. I like to watch hair bounce! (Hehehe) I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this... Walk by a window while "window shopping" catch a little glimpse of yourself. Then I casually look and like to see my hair flipping in the wind...yeah I know, I'm weird...lol

[jessica77]

You know the funny thing, guys will make all the excuses in the world to look at another women, but the moment they catch their girl looking at some other guy all hell breaks loose! I have a friend who says that he talks to a lot of women and even goes out on dates with them, but never really does anything with them. So, buddy why go out with other girls, why not just guys or why not go in a group? Doesn't make sense, yet they make it sound logical!!!

[elijahBailey]

Women that don't want their SO's to find other women attractive surprise me. How can he find you attractive if he doesn't also find other women attractive? He might only have love for you but that doesn't mean he is blind even if that is what he says.

 

 

.........EXACTLY!!

[elijahBailey]

You know the funny thing, guys will make all the excuses in the world to look at another women, but the moment they catch their girl looking at some other guy all hell breaks loose!

 

Yup, I'm like that.

 

If my girl does that she gets no booty for a week even if I have to suffer for her crap.

[the corinthian]

I don't know what to to think if you honestly believed this man would never find another woman attractive. I think you ought to have known he could not have been telling the truth.

 

When I look at other women, I just think to myself that those women are attractive. Attractive women are just nice to look at, and I don't think it is wrong of me to appreciate the beauty of other women even though I am in a relationship.

 

I look at porn and my girlfriend knows. I tell her so. I sometimes look at other women that I think are attractive, and my girlfriend knows because I told her that I do when I was questioned. I must be doing something right, however, because she claims never to have noticed me looking at other women.

 

If this guy is with you and being faithful to you, then you should be grateful for that.

[mymojo]

IIf this guy is with you and being faithful to you, then you should be grateful for that.

 

 

I get so tired of hearing how "grateful" we should be because a guy mentally undresses every woman he see's,views copious amounts of porn yet manages to not stick his penis in anybody else.

 

 

If a guy gets aroused elsewhere, let him satisfy his urges elesewhere too. I'm tired of pretending to be grateful that he limits himself to me like that's some sort of huge, awful burden. He wants to screw others ? I say let him do whatever he wants as long as he stops mouthing platitudes about how "grateful" I should be to him.

[Outcast]

If a guy gets aroused elsewhere, let him satisfy his urges elesewhere too

 

That is ridiculous. Arousal is about biology. It's not a deliberate act. It's like getting angry at someone for blinking.

[elijahBailey]

I get so tired of hearing how "grateful" we should be because a guy mentally undresses every woman he see's,views copious amounts of porn yet manages to not stick his penis in anybody else.

 

:lmao: You crack me up.

 

Ya know what, somewhere in us guys' heads there is a switch...... which, when you turn it off, we'll stop lookin' at other women other than our own.

 

.......except that we don't know where it's located.

 

If you happen to know where it is, do let us know

[loveheart59]

Compared with my friend youre havin a field day!

 

One evening he was told her that "Mariah Carey is HOT!!! If you had a body like her, Id be f**king you every minute!":eek:

 

At least your guys not rude and he cares about your feelings. At the end of the day women wear such tight revealing clothes nowadays that its hard for guys not look. Even I struggle not to look, im not exactly fully bisexual but the way people dress now its hard not to notice if a girls got a curvy ass. Beautiful things are nice to look at, doesnt mean anything much. If guys were walking around in tight vests and toned bodies Im sure your eyes would be drawn, for at least a second!

[mymojo]

That is ridiculous. Arousal is about biology. It's not a deliberate act. It's like getting angry at someone for blinking.

 

 

Well he can satisfy his "arousal" whever he gets it. I'm so tired of the sham called monogamy and having to act all grateful for it. I don't value the so called "sacrifice" of having sex only with me as any sort of heroic gift.

 

Long story short.. who he sleeps with is no longer my business.

[Toni_no12002]

Ive been through this thing beofre.People have told me it doesnt mean anything about him looking but im sorry to say it doesnt really help.It doesnt sink in im thick lol.Im in counselling now and people on here said it to do with self esteem etc my counsellor said that to also that im anxious so im likely to keep worrying about it.Maybe you should see someone.If not exercise it stops you worrying and makes ya feel better about ya self.Im not saying it will stop overight because i still have really bad days.It will take time.But im sure as hell it wont beat me

 

Men look i know that and women do .i think if you notice a man doing it he should be a little more respectful and try not to show hes doing it as it will only add to the worry.Do something to make you feel gorgeous.when you feel that your good enough yourself maybe then you wont care about him looking because you know hes already got the best

[filarena]

Looking doesn't mean anything. I have a hard time believing girls who say they never look. If he's with you and a girl walks by and he stops listening to you talk, that's bad. If he happens to observe that an attractive woman is in the room when he's out by himself, that just means his heart is still beating. Personally, I notice attractive girls and I also frequently compare them to my girlfriend while I'm looking. She's pretty hot, but my girlfriend's prettier. She's got a nice boy, but my girlfriend's is nicer.

[filarena]

Yup, I'm like that.

 

If my girl does that she gets no booty for a week even if I have to suffer for her crap.

 

I've told my girlfriend she's welcome to look. She can tell me too, if she wants. She once told me a good friend of mine is the type of guy she'd go for if she wasn't with me. I didn't care. I told her about a friend of hers I find attractive. But we also made a point of noting something about their appearance that isn't attractive, just to make it easier to hear.