being "Just Friends"

[dixie]

Ok. Here's the deal. I was going out with this really great guy. We were together for 3 months...which i know isn't a long time. But during that 3 months we got to be really close, and i've said and done things with him that i wouldn't have dreamed of with other guys.Two months ago he came to me and told me he needed time to think and time to grow up(he's 20 yrs old). I was pretty upset, because i really do love him. And I was certain that the feeling was mutual. Well..to make a long story short..he said he wanted to be "just friends" and i have been trying my best to do this...but a month ago he told me he still has feelings for me and would be interested in getting back together. But he can't seem to tell me when he wants to do that.

 

I want your advice..if he comes to me and wants me back?? What should i do? Let me know what you think.

[PPT]

Well...I can understand how you feel. I think that you need to make sure this guy is good and ready to get involved again before you give it another try...because you do not want to go through the whole ordeal of getting your heart into something that will turn out the same way. I wouldn't necessarily tell you NOT to do it...it doesn't sound like he was a jerk or anything...just make sure that he is really certain that this is what he wants...maybe start out on strictly a "dating" basis where you are both free to see other people until you are sure a relationship is really what he is looking for.

 

Hope I was of some help...good luck!

 

PPT

[little d]

It doesn't sound like he is any more sure now than the first time. Make sure he's not keeping you around as a back up. You don't want this guy to pick up and go whenever he thinks he's found better. If he comes back and wants to be with you tell him YOUR not sure when YOU want to do that. Let HIM wait it out a bit. If he sticks around try it out again, if not he can play games with someone else.

 

Good Luck

 

d

 

Ok. Here's the deal. I was going out with this really great guy. We were together for 3 months...which i know isn't a long time. But during that 3 months we got to be really close, and i've said and done things with him that i wouldn't have dreamed of with other guys.Two months ago he came to me and told me he needed time to think and time to grow up(he's 20 yrs old). I was pretty upset, because i really do love him. And I was certain that the feeling was mutual. Well..to make a long story short..he said he wanted to be "just friends" and i have been trying my best to do this...but a month ago he told me he still has feelings for me and would be interested in getting back together. But he can't seem to tell me when he wants to do that. I want your advice..if he comes to me and wants me back?? What should i do? Let me know what you think.

[Ashesmum]

Do you feel you really want him back in your life. Do you want to try and see if he'll actually stay again or run off? I believe everyone deserves a chance. First time, shame on you; second time, shame on me. So take a chance if you really think it'll be something that will stay together and you'll be completely happy. And if he can't make up his mind soon, then tell him to be on his way. If he really feels he screwed up and wants you back, he be there in a heartbeat. Good luck.

Ok. Here's the deal. I was going out with this really great guy. We were together for 3 months...which i know isn't a long time. But during that 3 months we got to be really close, and i've said and done things with him that i wouldn't have dreamed of with other guys.Two months ago he came to me and told me he needed time to think and time to grow up(he's 20 yrs old). I was pretty upset, because i really do love him. And I was certain that the feeling was mutual. Well..to make a long story short..he said he wanted to be "just friends" and i have been trying my best to do this...but a month ago he told me he still has feelings for me and would be interested in getting back together. But he can't seem to tell me when he wants to do that. I want your advice..if he comes to me and wants me back?? What should i do? Let me know what you think.

[boomerang]

My opinion is don't spend a lot of time with him now, avoid seeing him. It seems like he's let you hanging on for at least a month now. Obviously you still have the same feeling for him. You're just wasting your own precious energy by waiting for him and thinking of him. Move on, prepare yourself mentally to make the next step in life and if he comes along, all the better.

 

Good luck!

[marzipan75]

I hate to say this but you need to blow him off for a while. You are in a very critical stage where you've allowed some time to pass and help yourself to get over this. If you let him toy with your emotions (and whether intentional or not it is what he is doing) then you will be back to square one. Don't let this happen. I would get a little distance from this guy and let him be the one to call you. Then when he does, deal with it when it happens. Don't sit and wait for it to happen and don't encourage it any further.

 

I know it hurts so incredibly bad but it's going to hurt even worse if you let him confuse you any further. You need more distance from this guy, you are still not over him and rightfully so if you admit you are still in love with him. I know that hurts very bad but you aren't doing yourself any good by allowing his confusion to cloud you as well. He is confused, still doesn't know what he wants and if you continue to let yourself be drawn in to his issues then you create even bigger problems for yourself in the long run if it doesn't work out. Think about the hurt and time you have taken to try and get yourself over all this, do you really want to experience the rejection all over again? Just be careful and get some distance is my advice. I'm sorry if this hurts but I speak from experience here. You are letting his confusion get to you and you don't need that.

Ok. Here's the deal. I was going out with this really great guy. We were together for 3 months...which i know isn't a long time. But during that 3 months we got to be really close, and i've said and done things with him that i wouldn't have dreamed of with other guys.Two months ago he came to me and told me he needed time to think and time to grow up(he's 20 yrs old). I was pretty upset, because i really do love him. And I was certain that the feeling was mutual. Well..to make a long story short..he said he wanted to be "just friends" and i have been trying my best to do this...but a month ago he told me he still has feelings for me and would be interested in getting back together. But he can't seem to tell me when he wants to do that. I want your advice..if he comes to me and wants me back?? What should i do? Let me know what you think.

[marzipan75]

This is just my opinion, I wouldn't do it. I would take it nice and slow. It sounds like he's confused and maybe playing with your head. Whether or not he's intentionally doing this, don't let yourself be clouded by it. Ask yourself this : Why do you want to be with him? Is it because three months ago he told you no and now all of a sudden he's changed his mind? Talk to him about it before making any decision and then do some more thinking on your own. Ask him about his feelings, guys can be so dumb sometimes. Ask him if he's feeling this way now because there's nobody else in the picture? And why now after three months have gone by. I hope I'm not sounding rude or insensitive here but having been "confused" by guys myself in the last couple of weeks, I thought I should share that with you. Usually it's like a lot of time has gone by and yes you miss that person terribly still but do you really want to go through the pain you did all over again? Also, you sound like you are still going through it so be careful how you choose to go about it because you could wind up getting hurt again. If he's serious about getting back together with you (and he may genuinely be!) then he will understand that something like this takes a lot of time. He should be able to understand taking things slowly if he's seriously wanting to come back to you.

 

Hope that helps. Good luck!

Ok. Here's the deal. I was going out with this really great guy. We were together for 3 months...which i know isn't a long time. But during that 3 months we got to be really close, and i've said and done things with him that i wouldn't have dreamed of with other guys.Two months ago he came to me and told me he needed time to think and time to grow up(he's 20 yrs old). I was pretty upset, because i really do love him. And I was certain that the feeling was mutual. Well..to make a long story short..he said he wanted to be "just friends" and i have been trying my best to do this...but a month ago he told me he still has feelings for me and would be interested in getting back together. But he can't seem to tell me when he wants to do that. I want your advice..if he comes to me and wants me back?? What should i do? Let me know what you think.