nextel Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 My "b/f" did not contact me on Thanksgiving nor did he invite me to his house during that time. He has not contacted me after thanksgiving. I tried to call him the evening of Thanksgiving to see how things went on his end, but there was no answer. As I write, he has not made contact. Does this mean that he has decided to end things? I have not called him since the TG night. Before TG, he would call me everyday without fail. 2 days before TG he wanted a key to my place and I refused to give him one....(see posting of need insight). Should I take his not contacting me as a sign that it is over? Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 how long have you two been going out? its surprising that he didnt call you to wish you a happy thanksgiving...you should call him and see whats up?... Link to post Share on other sites
Leilao1 Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 no, he is just mad at you for some reason and pulled away Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 I doubt that he would end it this way.. He is giving you the silent treatment to get his way.. The key.. It hurt his feelings that you said no.. I will say this.. he is most likely rethinking things right now.. You might find that when he talks to you that he does breakup with you.. it depends on how he feels the no key thing will play out Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 Anger makes you do foolish things. He will contact you when he cools down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nextel Posted November 26, 2005 Author Share Posted November 26, 2005 We have been seeing each other for the last 6 months. What I dont understand is why would he expect me to give him a key to my place when he has never ever helped me pay a single bill? When I did ask him for help, he never came through. Then out of the blues, he asks for a key to my place. I know that he loves watching football and because he does not have cable and I do, this was an opportunity for him to watch all the games. I guess I ruined that for him. But giving someone a key is such a huge step and being that he has not taken any huge steps himself, I dont think that I should give him a key to the place that I pay bills for by myself. If anyone should be upset, I think it should be me and not him. Well, I hope that everyone here is right and that he is rethinking things. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Nextel, You don't have to justify your reasons for not giving him a key. You just don't. I'm sure he'll get over it but if he doesn't, he's truly a big baby. It's pretty petty not to wish someone a happy thanksgiving just because they didn't get their way. Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Well I'm going to buck the trend and say that he is probably ending things by disappearing. It's only happened to me twice but I've seen it happen many times to others. Lots of men, when they don't want to deal with you or the relationship, will just disappear instead of ending it. But hey, I could be wrong. Your case might be different than all the others. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nextel Posted November 27, 2005 Author Share Posted November 27, 2005 I will just take it as, such is life. Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 I will just take it as, such is life. That's the way you have to take it. Disappearing is a very immature way to handle things and it's hurtful to the person that you're doing it to. It leaves you with a lot of questions that you'll never get answered. You constantly wonder how someone could behave this way. It only makes it more clear that the problem is not you but the person in question. Just from your posts on this thread he sounds like a selfish and volatile person and it's not surprising he would handle things this way. You deserve better treatment than this. Link to post Share on other sites
Liliana Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Hi Nextel, Hate me for saying this, but I think for the next week or so it's going to be a question of wait and see. Perhaps he's just mad at you. This sounds most likely. But if he doesn't get back to you within a week, it's probably safe to assume he's silently called the whole thing off. In any case, if he's still mad at you after a whole week just because you wouldn't give in to him, how unreasonable! For the record, I think you did the wisest thing not giving way on the key. Better that the relationship comes to an end or you have to argue things out than setting a trend in which he always wins by being childish and demanding. (at least, IMO!) Link to post Share on other sites
Author nextel Posted November 27, 2005 Author Share Posted November 27, 2005 Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
mini696 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 I'm shocked that your BF wouldn't ask you to spend TG with you (in Australia we dont celebrate it at all of course). I agree with the above posts suggesting he may be upset you didn't give him a key. And he might be thinking you arent taking the relationship seriously. Why did he want the key? I gave my ex-GF one only 2 months into our relationship, my reason was because I wanted her to have a refuge she could use whenever her current living situation got too much, or when her ex-bf (and father of her child) was threatening to come over (always to fight and ask for her to come back to him). She never used it (which actually upset me in a way) but it was there just in case. Even now we are broken up she still has it, and I dont want it back yet. Link to post Share on other sites
drgnflybethany Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 You are a true gentleman, mini - a rare breed... Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Even now we are broken up she still has it, and I dont want it back yet. Wow! That is where I am too. Something really strange about that key. It is symbolic of the complete demise of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 I see his selfishness in many forms.... is not giving to the relationship, too cheap to pay for cable , wants a key to your place so he can lounge around and watch your tv, you tell him no to the key and he ignores you on Thanksgiving . What a lamer. How good of a bf was he ? Did he just mostly want sex ? Did he take you places, out to dinner , spend lots of quality time ? He might have constructed himself as a FWB, un-be-known to you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author nextel Posted December 4, 2005 Author Share Posted December 4, 2005 He did contact me the Monday after thanksgiving claiming that he had to rush "out of town" on the 23rd. I grilled him about it and he stated that he needed to take care of his business property in another state. When I asked him why he did not contact me while he was away to at least let me know...he stated that he thought about it. I told him that I was not happy that he did not contact me even while he was away, and then to wait until Monday when he got back on "Sunday". He stated that because I was too upset with him, it would be best that we spoke another time. I told him not to bother contacting me ever again and I said my goodbye. On the December 1st, he called me up talking about an unresolved thing that we needed to take care of. I told him to contact me whenever he was ready. He then asked me if that was all I had to say, I said yes. He then stated that he needed to talk to me. I told him to talk because I was listening. He stated that he wanted to talk in person. I then reiterated that I had nothing more to say. He was quiet then stated that he needed to talk to me in person. I told him that I was home and if he really had something to say to me in person, he could come over and say what he had to say. Needless to say, he never did show up, nor did he call me to tell me that he was not coming over. I have not contacted him (he probably thought that I would call him to find out why he did not show up). I have decided to do away with him. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 I'm sure you'd have given him the key on your own if you felt he was something special. But you didn't, and that says enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nextel Posted December 4, 2005 Author Share Posted December 4, 2005 Good point, W. Never looked at it like that....but you made a very good point. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 By him treating you that way on Thanksgiving and then finally having the opportunity to come over in person and settle this : He chose to do NOTHING. Sounds like a real P**** to me.....better off ..rid of him Link to post Share on other sites
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