bjohns54 Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 My girlfriend and I live together. We found out that she was pregnant. We had previously talked about marriage and everything. Now she says that she wants to give the baby her last name and then i should take hers when we get married. Do you think this is alright. I love this girl enough to do it, but i don't know how i will be viewed by others when they find out that i took her name and out baby has her name also. Could i have some insite on this situation. I am only 21 and i don't have the answers for everything. Thank you for your time and insite! Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 maybe there is a way you can put both names together, say your last name be the middle name?....that could work Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 It's certainly not the norm - is there a specific reason she wants to do this - like there are no opportunities for someone to carry on her family name? If you are ok with it - I don't see it as a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 How others see it is irrelevant. It's a power play by her. The child is yours (at least, that's what I'm assuming) so he or she should have your last name, or at the very least a hyphenated name. Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 most brides take the last name of the groom and want their children to have the same name.if you get married now you can do that more easily. if she has the baby first and names the baby her name, it can be changed once your married. it cost very little to do. Link to post Share on other sites
blazer Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Maybe she just wants some reassurance of your love for her. By agreeing to take her name when you get married, it shows a commitment on your part. With her being pregnant, its natural to feel insecure. She might just want to know that you plan on spending your future with her and the baby. Learn when to pick your battles. And don't sweat the small stuff, especially if taking her name is only a problem for you because you worry what others might think. Do things for her out of love for her. And she will do the same for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bjohns54 Posted December 17, 2005 Author Share Posted December 17, 2005 ok...you've helped me with my first problem...now i have a much bigger one. She (my girlfriend) has come to terms with her self and wants to get an abortion and possibly leave me. What can i do to show her that i really want to have a child with her and to make her feel more loved after i try to do everything possible already. Is there any reasoning behind why she would feel like this all of a sudden? Are there any answers out there for me? Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 How others see it is irrelevant. It's a power play by her. The child is yours (at least, that's what I'm assuming) so he or she should have your last name, or at the very least a hyphenated name. Eh, I don't think so. I was just discussing this with some unmarried mothers and I disagree. Many women think they should give the baby the fathers name, so they do, then when the father is not in their life anymore and she's living with a child with a different name. I think its a little like salt in the wound for the child. If she remarries, she can't change the name to her new husbands without the permision of the natural father, in many cases. Sounds like a pain in the butt to me. If I was unmarried and pregnant, I would give my baby my name without question. She (my girlfriend) has come to terms with her self and wants to get an abortion and possibly leave me. What can i do to show her that i really want to have a child with her and to make her feel more loved after i try to do everything possible already. Is there any reasoning behind why she would feel like this all of a sudden? Are there any answers out there for me?I dunno, what reasoning did she give? Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 ok...you've helped me with my first problem...now i have a much bigger one. She (my girlfriend) has come to terms with her self and wants to get an abortion and possibly leave me. What can i do to show her that i really want to have a child with her and to make her feel more loved after i try to do everything possible already. Is there any reasoning behind why she would feel like this all of a sudden? Are there any answers out there for me? Most likely she is not ready to have a child in her life.. is reason enough. You have not mentioned any details about financial matters, your g/fs age, or if it will interupt her goals in some way. Forcing yourself on her or your desires is good way to end up losing her. An unwanted pregnancy is difficult to deal with regardless of her final choice. Be supportive and do not push her right now. a4a Link to post Share on other sites
LifeRealistic Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 We need to know her motives? Like someone asked, is she last in her family ? a family of only females maybe? Was she close to her father and no he is gone- need to carry on name? Is she well known for last name somehow ( business?) Is she fearful people will know right away that she is not married because her child with have a different last name? If that child is yours she should not have a problem giving the child your last name - I mean does she even know if this is a boy or a girl? Giving a girl her name would really be pointless - in my mind. And it messed with history, and the whole family tree concept. And honestly, yes you would be viewed as maybe a little light in the loafers. Also, if you do not marry her before the baby, and you do not go to court saying you want your rights - that baby is 100% hers. Just a little FYI. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeRealistic Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Ohh wait I just read your lasted info!! I hope I am not too late. Is there anyway, that you were not the father of this baby>? If you are or even if you are not, please check this site out . http://www.abort73.com/ Please watch the video - but I will warn you the second half is brutal. Link to post Share on other sites
gfpjay1232 Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 My girlfriend and I live together. We found out that she was pregnant. We had previously talked about marriage and everything. Now she says that she wants to give the baby her last name and then i should take hers when we get married. Do you think this is alright. I love this girl enough to do it, but i don't know how i will be viewed by others when they find out that i took her name and out baby has her name also. Could i have some insite on this situation. I am only 21 and i don't have the answers for everything. Thank you for your time and insite!hey dude im only 16 and my gf is saying she is pregnant. i dont know if she is telling the truth or just saying that. what should i think Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 My girlfriend and I live together. We found out that she was pregnant. We had previously talked about marriage and everything. Now she says that she wants to give the baby her last name and then i should take hers when we get married. Do you think this is alright. I love this girl enough to do it, but i don't know how i will be viewed by others when they find out that i took her name and out baby has her name also. Could i have some insite on this situation. I am only 21 and i don't have the answers for everything. Thank you for your time and insite! The traditional thing to do is you she take your name and the baby too!! I would want to be on the birth certificate that way she can't say you have no rights!! Link to post Share on other sites
luckygirl Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 It is the norm that women change their names to the husband's after marriage. However, women are no longer slaves and have to give up their identity and should not be forced to do so. If you cannot agree, then do not get married! I got married, had two children, and gave them his last name. I got divorced, wanted my maiden name back, he was willing to give permission to change the children's names back to my maiden name because his family does not have a good reputation, but it was going to cost a lot of money and an attorney. So I have to remain with my married name because I do not want my name to be different from my children's. None of my old friends know my last name. People never remember my married name. I no longer have a history. Which may not be bad for some people! I hope everything works out for you. I married as soon as I was 18, and I thought it was going to be forever. I was too young to make that big of a decision. Link to post Share on other sites
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