??? About Anti-Depressant. Good vs Bad???

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

 

Alot of you might have read my post here at the loveshack recently. Long story short. I got in conatct with my ex gf from a year and a half ago. She called me out of the blue and from 1 phone conversation it turned into a 2 month thing. We talked everyday, she told me she missed me, truly made me feel that she wanted me back in her life. She made plans for me to come and visit her, the whole nine yards. Anyways things were great, i went to see her and she did a complete 180 after the second day i was with her. Now she doesnt talk to me and said that the last two months were stupid and a waste of time.

 

So its been two weeks of NC and this whole relapse is killing me. I have missed a few days of work, cant have fun, trouble sleeping, etc.. My uncle told me today that he is worried that I might have depression. It took a lot of heartache to get over this girl the first time and it just feels worse now. Has anyone taken any meds for depression in the past. Im not sure if i need them but i was just curious? What are the pluses and negatives of that type of thing. Im sure this will all pass without them but i just feel so low right now. Any help will be greatly appreciated...Thanks

[Outcast]

Being depressed over a relationship loss is normal. You need to worry about depression as a condition if the sadness, listlessness, etc. lasts for several weeks at a stretch with no improvement.

 

What you need to do is hang out with your friends, eat well, get exercise every day, and treat yourself well. If in a few weeks you are no better, go talk to your doctor who will be able to diagnose you and recommend treatment, which may or may not include meds.

 

It's not good to try to avoid the grieving process. It's normal and needs to run its course. Yes, it hurts, but it will eventually go away and it's not fatal, just really unpleasant. But you survive.

[In Sync]

You are grieving the loss of a relationship, twice...you're hopes were built up and you were let down drastically...it is only natural that you're feeling down.

You are healing because your heart was broken. Your uncle means well because he does not want to see you hurting, when he said you're going through depression but that doesn't always mean medicating. Try coping along side with the heartache before medicating yourself. Seeking a therapist, someone to talk too. That can help a great deal, to talk to openly about all you've been through.

[kodiak]

oukast, nysnc-

 

Thank you for your replies, i think you are right and i just have to ride the rollercoaster ride. As much as it sucks, i have to be strong enough to get by. I just cant figure out why my ex did what she did. i have post under breaking up "just need some help undertstanding things". I would love any feedback you can give to me from maybe experiences you have gone through or ones that you know of that might be similliar. Thanks

[Outcast]

I just cant figure out why my ex did what she did.

 

The answer to these questions is usually 'because she's screwed up'.

[RainyDayWoman]

The answer to these questions is usually 'because she's screwed up'.

 

it can also be just because "she screwed up."

[omegaRED]

I`d agree. But Kodiak, and don`t take offence, stop obsessing why she did it. It`s really stopping you from healing and moving on. I still don`t know why my ex left me. Why she lied to me. Why she couldn`t just told me the truth. Why she strung me along. And i probably never will. But i do not care, or at least i`m taking care not to think about th reasons why. At some point, preferably soon, you need to deal with the facts only. You may never know why she did what she did. It`s more than likely that you`ll never ever find out the reasons. So just accept the outcome. You don`t really need to know, you just need to accept that she did it.

[smile95]

I have taken anti-d's after a break up and it did help me, but I was actaully diagnosed with depression. You may want to talk to a dr? Have you? I knew things were not right when I could not eat, sleep, and cried all day (even all day at work) and shut my self out from others and cried over the smallest things not even relating to the ex. The pills helped me (my family saw a big difference). The side affects of them vary but usually your body adjusts. I am not taking them now, but they did help me get over that hump. I tollk them a little over a year, so it is not something that you can just take a while and stop. Even if you feel better, you have to continue with them for however long the dr tells you or you crash harder(I made that mistake).

 

It really controlled crying for me and made me smile again, but they are not a pill to take to delete the past. All my issues were there, I just still had to work thru them with someone. Good luck.

[bendit]

kodiak, it seems your issue is traceable...you were ok until the very unfortunate and lesson teaching episode of broken NC. Thank you for sharing the results of this break in NC because often we don't get a real time demonstration of just why many people almost have to go this route. I think you'll be ok if you tell yourself that its not the end of the world that you had this set back, at the same time learning from this mistake. You are almost starting from square one again but now will have the perspective of just how disruptive and dangerous a break of NC can be to someone who has an emotional, debilitating dependency to another person. Best of luck and take it day by day.

 

regards