Mike6285 Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Too sum this up I need some womens advice. My GF of 3 years had trully instilled in me that she loves me she wants to be with and get married and start a family as soon as the financial game is solid. She does everything in her power to make me happy and I love and respect her as much as I can for that. However I need to know if I am the one who is clearly blowing this out of proportion or it something I really do need to stress how "unusuall" this is that she does this. O.K so I have never really cared if my Gf would go out if it did seem that way to her it was only because on the inside I just wanted to have her all to myself But I didnt say that or act like that. Well lately she asks me not that she needs to but she asks about once every two weeks between work and college on the weekends if she can go out. My response is most likely sure just call me when you get home and dont drink anddrive i will pick you up. Well i havent been getting calls until 3,4,5am in the morning usually with a call that says "Oh i just got home from (a girlfriends) house. Well right now I'm sittting here close to 6am. Where do I draw the line since im almost 100% sure shes not cheating? Do I let it go, say something? She is 19 and able to make her own decisions I guess I just feel like being out until 6 am is wrong or am i the one making the mistake by being jealous/over protective...Please Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Searching Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Well, I guess it's really only a decision you can make. If it really bothers you that she does this you may have to say something to her and decide if you want to be with her or not. The fact that she is asking you I feel is enough respect for your feelings. She is only 19 and that is the time to have fun and go out I guess. One question, do you guys ever go out together or does she ever invite you? Just keep in mind, if you start to put too many demands on her about going out she may do it to spite you. If you continue to act like it doesn't bother you that much she will have no reason to lie to you or " act out" on purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
mini696 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 I would just ask her but try to be tactful about it. Do you know these girlfriends that she is staying with? Talk to them, but again be tactful. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 at 19 she is just beginning her butterfly stage.. if you want to keep her then you need to not be jealous and try not to suffocate her.. If her behavior bothers you try an sit her down to talk to her about it.. but don't show any controling tone or words in your voice.. Link to post Share on other sites
Boudicca Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 I'd give the girl a little space Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Honest answer? If she's not cheating on you, it's only a matter of time. She is 19 and has been with one guy for 3 years. She is going out until all hours She may have no intention of cheating, but she is a young girl and dudes WILL be coming up to her constantly in the clubs. Men do not go to clubs to dance with their buddies. They go to see who they can get into the back seat of the car. A girl who intentionally puts herself in that position is just waiting for trouble. Girlfriends do not go clubbing on a regular basis or hang around in bars without their boyfriends. She's not bad or evil, she is just 19 and wants to have you locked down and her freedom. I suggest that you start going out too with your pals. Link to post Share on other sites
XDOR Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Next time she asks you if she can go out.... Tell her the truth, that you don't feel confortable with it. It is natural that you tell her what you feel (not that she might cheat, but that you prefer her to come back earlier). If you are not honest and communicate your feelings now.... it will be worse later when you get married. Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 She has been your girlfriend for 3 years so it as though she has never really been out there in the single world. 19 is still young. What may be taking place is that she is just repeating the script to you that she percieves for herself. Society seems to give most women this script at some point. Her heart is not in to it. There is that side of her that is seeking independence and freedom. And most likely other guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Shasta Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 She's 19...she's enjoying her teen years! Every woman, no matter if she's single, taken, married, etc needs some time with her girls. You shouldn't over react just because she is staying out and having fun. If you start getting all crazy on her, she's just going to do it more often. I think that you should just kind of mention to her that you were worried because she stayed out so late. Maybe something like "I'm glad your doing ok, I was kind of worried when you didn't call by 6am". This way, your just kind of mentioning that you were worried, byt your not calling her out on anything. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Imagine what she'll do when she turns 21 (assuming you live in the U.S.). She's gonna party her ass off and meet tons of guys. Link to post Share on other sites
mini696 Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Girlfriends do not go clubbing on a regular basis or hang around in bars without their boyfriends. Yes they do. Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Yes they do. yes they do. what do you think girls do with their girlfriends when they're not with their boyfriends? play barbies and paint each other toenails? maybe some do that, and maybe some don't even go to clubs, but......come on. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 what do you think girls do with their girlfriends when they're not with their boyfriends? play barbies and paint each other toenails? . Nope--they're supposed to be waiting by the phone for the man to call and dreaming of an engagement rock. If I was the OP I wouldn't be waiting by the phone either. You both can go out and have fun with friends and not ask for permission first. Keeping tabs on anyone won't stop them from cheating with other people if that's what they really want to do. If she starts to spend more of her free time hanging out and partying with friends over being with you, then it's not going to work. Link to post Share on other sites
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