melissa85 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Hey Guys, I have a friend who is a guy. I have known him for a year now. we have lots of things in common, we get along quite well and I talk to him like 4-5 times a day. He always picks up the phone when I call him, no matter how busy he is. If he is too busy, he'll keep the conversation short at other times, we talk for about an hour or so. we have gone out for dinner together, along with other friends(never alone). However, he always singles me out and teases me, calles me nicknames, sometimes really pushes my buttons. Sometimes, I feel like I am in grade school, when I am with him. However, here's the wierd stuff...... He never calls me on his own, i.e never initiates the call. Last week, I didn't call him for a week and he didn't call me even once. And when I did call him, ne never asked me where I was for a week. I don't get it???? If he talks to me everyday, wouldn't he miss me or wonder what's going on? I am really confused....I think I might be falling for him, but I dont know where he stands??? What can I do??? Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 I think it's obvious you are falling for him. Do you talk about other guys you'd like to date in his presence and how does he respond to that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted November 28, 2005 Author Share Posted November 28, 2005 I don't talk about other guys in his presence...but once or twice we were in the company of some other guys(common friends)...and he kept staring at me when I spoke to those other guys. Once we were walking together and some older guy made a pass at me and he came and stood right next to me. later me told me that had that guy said something to me, he would have hit him in the nuts. I don't get it..all this.....yet he never ever calls me or asks me out on a date??? What's up with this??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted November 28, 2005 Author Share Posted November 28, 2005 Oh!ya and he als tells me how other girls call him and how he just loves the attention. so, once I asked him , why does he tell me all that and he said "Oh, boy mel....you are so jealous" and when I tried to tell him, I wasn't , he just started a fake fight!!!! Last week, I told him, I'll see him next week and he said why, won't you call me?? So, what's the deal here...if he like me why can't he evr call me??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted November 28, 2005 Author Share Posted November 28, 2005 Just wondering if any of the guys could help me out here and suggest what's going on ? Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Either he's playing games with you or he just wants to be a friend. I guess you could try the direct approach and ask him why he never asks you out. A guy who likes a women will call them and spend time with them. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted November 28, 2005 Author Share Posted November 28, 2005 so, why does he waste his time with me....like for hours when he could be doing other things. Why does he get jealous when I talk to other guys? It doesn't make sense.... Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Maybe he likes you but not the way you like him. If you want to know why you are going to have to ask him. Is he worth the gamble? Only you can decide. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted November 28, 2005 Author Share Posted November 28, 2005 Hey Yamaha, I just noticed that u are the only one answering my posts, its like a conversation between us. Wonder what the others are doing:) In any case, I decide yesterday that I am not going to call this guy, for as long as I can , hopefully for atleast two weeks and I'll see how it goes. If he doesn't call, I guess that will answer everything. So, God help me!!! It so difficult to fall in a bad habit.... its like smoking or some other addiction...its so easy to fall in the same trap. So, it is with liking someone, I guess you build this illusion around you and look for cues to make your self believe that people like you as much as you do them. But, Its not so... So, I am going to be strong and keep myself away from this guy. It seems like bad news to me and to answer your qns Yamaha.....no its not worth it....I guess for that matter nothing is!!!! So, what are your thoughts...since you will be the only one who answers:) Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 I would make him chase you. If he doesn't then you have your answer. Sometimes you have to create "space" between you and him to see if he likes you. Lay low for awhile and see his reaction. Link to post Share on other sites
filarena Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 I'd bet money he's playing head games. Classic reverse psychology with trying to make you jealous and teasing you. Territorial with other guys. Plus I've got some good female friends, and I don't spend an hour on the phone with them. There are of course some exceptions, particularly mommy, but for most guys, if he's actually using the phone, for a significant amount of time, he probably likes her. Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 melissa85, Are you sure he isn`t gay? Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 "Sometimes you have to create "space" between you and him to see if he likes you. Lay low for awhile and see his reaction."Thanks Yamaha for your reply, can always count on your response . Thanks filarena, certainly makes me hopeful...yet I have decided I don't wanna play games no more...I have a lot of things going for me , I am a good student and am currently working towards a scholarship...so I am not going to let some guy ruin my head. You know something guys, I am glad I wrote here...It gives me the strength to take the hard road...I'll keep you guys posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 Oh! ya..he's definitely not gay!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Well, I guess he is just not that into you. It may be good to back off considering that you went a week and he didn`t contact you once. It`s possible that he may welcome you giving him a break. But, it doesn`t seem likely he has any romantic or relationship plans with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 yup, you are right Neptune. I guess what might have helped me even bfore all this was if he would just ignore my calls...That way I would never have been led on to believe that he likes me:) Wonder, why guys do that:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 hey guys, I didn't think I'd be writing here so soon, but he called today!!!! he was like" hey, stranger...where have you been"...I was really excited..I am not sure what it means...but I waited like you said Yamaha and it worked!!! I would like to know what you guys make of it??? Please I really need your input...it helps me decide things better!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Keep your conversations short when you talk to him. Don't blow him off but make him think you have things going on and he is just a part of your life. Many times people get in a rut and need a wake up call. They need to see that you may just lose me if I'm not appreciated. Like I said before, make him chase you if he's interested. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Triple booh yahs;) ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 thanks yamaha, seems like a good plan to me. So, should I just wait for him to call everytime or should I call too once in a while, I don't want it to be like it was when I was on the receiving end.... So why do you think he called?? I really acn't figure it out.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted December 1, 2005 Author Share Posted December 1, 2005 so, just to keep you guys posted....no call today....well, I amnot sure what to do, should I maybe call him tomorrow? since, he made the first move so to speak!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 so, just to keep you guys posted....no call today....well, I amnot sure what to do, should I maybe call him tomorrow? since, he made the first move so to speak!!! Don't call him. You can't give in because he is not doing what you want. If he isn't interested you can't make him interested. Sometimes you just have to accept it and move on. Do you ever see him or is it just contact by phone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted December 1, 2005 Author Share Posted December 1, 2005 NOpe, I don't go out with him that much!!! He just calls , well mostly I call and we talk for hours sometimes...or sometme for just few minutes...but talk atleast 3-4 times a day(generally speaking). But, we are both really busy, got very busy careers and I guess its also something I haven't paid much attention to... But we talk a lot...I know everything going on in his life and vice versa...... So, ina way he's a big part of my life... I have tried several times to just stp calling him and he always calls back to see why I didn't call.....so I don't know.....I don't get it..why does he miss talking to me if he is not into me?? You know what I mean... Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 He might be into you as a friend. He doesn't see it as a problem not to call you every day because he doesn't have the same feelings you do. I agree when you share your life with someone you develop feelings for them. His might be on a friendship level as yours are more romantic. If it really bothers you that he doesn't have the same feelings you are going to have to pull away. You can ask him if he likes you as a friend or something more. It will probably be the only way you will know for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melissa85 Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 Thanks yamaha, I guess you are right!!!! Maybe I should just stop talking to him completely. Like never ever call him, do you think I can do that? I wish I'd never met him... Link to post Share on other sites
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