Should I hit on girls who already have boyfriends?

[MarcoInaros]

I read somewhere on this forum that if a girl has a boyfriend and is hit on by a guy who is of higher caliber, then she'll dump her current bf and go out with the new one. And several girls agreed with this.

 

So since girls almost never initiate anything and are the submissive sex, it must be naturally acceptable for a male to hit on her and it is her choice whether to go out with the new guy or not.

 

I was thinking of trying this on a girl who comes into my work sometimes. My coworker says she has a boyfriend but I don't care. And if she doesn't want to, then fine, I'll find someone else. But the point is that loyalty doesn't exist until girls say "I do", and even marriage is becomeing an antiquated practice.

[Art_Critic]

are you of a higher caliber than her ?

[westernxer]

Some people don't take their relationships seriously, so you probably will find someone willing to trade up or, at the very least, fool around.

 

All it takes is a little nudge (or charm) and they're all yours.

 

I don't engage in this sort of thing, but if you can get away with it, more power to you.

[jasmine111]

just make sure her bf isnt around

[johan]

I think it's bad form to deliberately go after another guy's girl, no matter whether they are serious are not. It's kind of desperate, like she's all you think you can get. Then if you do get her, you'll have to worry she'll be willing to jump to someone else.

 

I think you're an a**h*** if you make "friends" with her in order to horn in on whatever it is they have.

 

If it were me, I'd just be cool with her and focus on someone else.

[Giselle]

Being a girl with a boyfriend, I find it almost rude when a guy hits on me knowing I am not single. Sometimes a little on the creepy side. So in my eyes, overtly hitting on me doesn't help their chances out much at all.

 

But then...are you sure that your coworker is right about her relationship status?

[MarcoInaros]

Being a girl with a boyfriend, I find it almost rude when a guy hits on me knowing I am not single. Sometimes a little on the creepy side. So in my eyes, overtly hitting on me doesn't help their chances out much at all.

 

But then...are you sure that your coworker is right about her relationship status?

 

Actually Giselle, that is a very good question. My coworker could be totally wrong because he hardly knows her. And since he isn't sure, I am not sure either, therefore it is not unethical.

[Giselle]

Maybe he wants to hit on her and is trying to dissuade you! Haha.

 

If you aren't sure, then I would say go for it. Just be respectful of her boundaries. I was referring to guys who would hit on me knowing for sure that I have a boyfriend (and in some cases have met him already!)--that to me is disrespectful.

[slubberdegullion]

Sure, go for it. Just make sure your medical and dental insurance is paid up.

[JayKay]

When guys asked me out, KNOWING that I had a boyfriend, I found it kind of creepy.

 

I guess in my younger years, I thought it was flattering. In my teens and twenties, I enjoyed pretty much all male attention, whether it was well-intentioned or not.

 

Now, however, when adult men seem intent on convincing me that I don't want my boyfriend....I want them....they seem no different to me than a dog pissing on a tree.

They just seem to want what they don't have, like big old babies.

[mini696]

No you shouldn't.

 

Just expect her to leave you for someone else if you do.

[jane23467]

What you want to say to her is something like "Pity you've got a boyfriend, if you're ever single again I'd love to take you out". That way you're showing you're not a sniffer and also your patient, caring side! You'll be able to tell what kind of woman she is from her response.

 

If she hasn't got one, you've just made her feel she's a catch, if she has, you've not made an immoral move.

[witabix]

Sure, go for it. Just make sure your medical and dental insurance is paid up.

 

Ha, yes, right on. Or alternatively make sure her current b/f is a little guy who is unlikely to break your head!!!

 

Why on earth would even need to consider this issue? If she is involved she is off limits, end of story. You can ask her if she is seeing someone without hitting on her, as for the "If you are ever single....da da da da..." line, although it may be cute, its still a little over the top for me. You would at the very least get a warning.

[penkitten]

if shes so easy to trade her boyfriend in on someone new, remember that because karma will see to it that it happens to you too.

[bunnzy]

I've had some guys try and hit on me when i have a boyfriend and i just ignore them. I am loyal to the bone and would never ever cheat, not even look at another man.

 

Now if someone asked me out, and i am wearing my engagement ring i think its time to get my fiance onto them. He is a black belt in karate so i wouldnt envy them.

[Panhandler]

There's nothing wrong with asking...a lot of girls these days don't have stable relationships. Until a girl is married and has a child, she's open game. Wether or not she likes to cheat on her boyfriend, or plays the field is a different story.

 

When I hit on a girl who has a boyfriend, my comment is so, I have a girlfriend. Any good looking girl is gonna tell you they have a boyfriend, even if they don't. I wouldn't let it stop me, but you know I hate situations when you even have to ask someone that. Your chances are a far cry when you are already friends and let things happen.

 

Last girl I had sex with, well technically "almost had sex with" said she had a boyfriend. I don't really think much of it at all, cause I know I'm the only one getting any.

 

Boyfriend is a vague term, by all means play whatever cards you can.

[Milo]

Is it just me, or is it just freakin' tacky to ask out a girl who has a boyfriend? Sheesh. Plenty of single girls out there, dudes. Look into it.

[expos]

I find it to be the opposite...it seems like every girl I want to date or think about approaching has a boyfriend. I find this out after having a long discussion with them, getting their phone number, and even agreeing to meet up on the weekend.

 

Does anybody else have this problem? Or do I live in a ****ed up town?

[MarcoInaros]

I find it to be the opposite...it seems like every girl I want to date or think about approaching has a boyfriend. I find this out after having a long discussion with them, getting their phone number, and even agreeing to meet up on the weekend.

 

Does anybody else have this problem? Or do I live in a ****ed up town?

 

Yes I have this problem. I think the last 5 girls I have asked out already had boyfriends. And the ones who were single wouldn't even give me a chance. God damn them all.

 

And no, girls do not initiate anything. Ever. At least not in my case.

[JS17]

I find it to be the opposite...it seems like every girl I want to date or think about approaching has a boyfriend. I find this out after having a long discussion with them, getting their phone number, and even agreeing to meet up on the weekend.

 

Does anybody else have this problem? Or do I live in a ****ed up town?

That's pretty messed up. They should let you know early on that they have a boyfriend.

 

I went after the last guy I dated. He apparently wasn't up for a relationship (which is something he might have thought about mentioning at some point) but it was the most comfortable I've felt with someone that I've dated with the exception of my first love. If I found someone I liked I would approach them. I think I have a better idea of who will work for me than the men that choose me.

[ReluctantRomeo]

If you want pain and embarrassment in front of your coworkers, it would be easier and quicker to just pull down your trousers and slam your genitals in one of the filing cabinets... why go to all the hassle of hitting on this girl?

 

Seriously, there are so many ways this can go wrong... awkwardness with the girl, jealous and violent boyfriend, you get her but she turns out to be a cheat...

 

Go for someone who is available.

[expos]

I had girls initiate things in High School...I remember I'd get calls out of the blue from girls after school and it was such a trip.

 

I college I had a couple secret admirers...but I became involved with a girl, and that stopped happening.

 

Now...I'm being set up on blind dates by my co-workers. Needless to say those are dates I'd rather forget.

 

I relation to this topic...it's hard for guys to even initiate things these days because 1) We are afraid of being shot down and 2) Most already have boyfriends. It get's to the point where you say to yourself "why bother".

[MarcoInaros]

I relation to this topic...it's hard for guys to even initiate things these days because 1) We are afraid of being shot down and 2) Most already have boyfriends. It get's to the point where you say to yourself "why bother".

 

Exactly. I don't even feel like trying anymore. Am I supposed to? Am I supposed to go to every woman I find attractive and try to seduce her? That seems like an abhorrent waste of time. And it isn't fun.

[westernxer]

Most girls who are taken have friends who aren't. You should have them hook you up at a party or something.

 

Of course, you may not like their friends very much when you meet (for whatever reason), but at least you gave it a try.

[expos]

EVERY relationship I've ever had came about by me getting enough balls to walk up and get face to face with the girl and introducing myself. I can tell within the first 20 seconds if they are interested in me. I go by appearance initially...that's what ATTRACTS me to someone...and then if their personality is good then I continue with the pursuit, dating, etc.

 

Sadly, what I've never had happen to me was being introduced to someone and having my attraction grow stronger towards them over time. I've come to realize that more often than not...these relationships end up lasting longer. How many times have you asked somebody "how did you guys meet" and they say "well we hung out a couple times (in a group setting) and we got along great" ? I can't count how many times I've gotten this answer from people.

 

 

Most girls who are taken have friends who aren't. You should have them hook you up at a party or something.

 

I couldn't imagine doing this. That would be personal torment. I'd still be wanting to date the girl I originally asked out and spending more time with her...and her boyfriend...would just frustrate the hell out of me.

 

I've started to live by the motto of that Cinderella song, "Nobody's Fool". If somebody tells me "no", I basically burn the bridge with them and subtley tell them to "**** off". I've been burned a couple times in my past and I'm not wasting my time.