Toni_no12002 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Hi well ill tell you about me brother.When we was younger(hes 26 now,6 yrs older than me)he was quite shy because my mum and dad split up when he was 6 and also when i was born he saw it as i took his mum away.It didnt exactly help that my sister was born 2 yrs after.He was shy at school and people bullied him alot!he used to wet himself and everyone called him names.No one would sit near him.They took his money and really hurt him alot.When he came out of school he had problems he went to boysbrigade and because they pressurised him into doing this badge he burned the church down.1 room each time he burned down 3 in all.He was sent to prison for 5 yrs but only did 2 and a half.My mum was scared she felt that she didnt know what to do. Well my brother came out and he still had problems he tried to kill my dad and his g/f he set the settee alight they stole my dads car and tried to kill himself my driving into a night club.He only broke his nose got out the car and the police van ran over his leg.My dada made allegations but changed his mind but by then it was to late to take it back as he would get sentenced for wasting police time.Again my brother went to prison. He out now and he lives in hull but he wants to come back to here .He keeps ringing my mum saying all sorts of wierd things like people can see the evil in him.He smoking weed and hes frightening me a lot.He told his counsellor that hes jelous of me because i took his mum away.I live down the street from my mum with my b/f and kid.Hes moving near my mum and im scared he going to do something stupid.By the way hes talking it sounds like he might. My mum cant cope ith him as she has problems at the min to especially because her mum died about a month ago and her dad died abit over a yr ago.shes heart broken.We cant deal with him.He knows where i live and i dont know what to do.Hes snaps at people about little things and im sorry to say hes just plain weird.What should i do?I feel sorry for him but if he hurts my kid or my bf ill go mad! On the other hand if its me hes jelous of he might hurt me but he might hurt them because it will get to me.He might not do anything but i cant be sure.hes not thinking right.Even my mums scared hes going to do something again. What can i do??? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Why is he not under psychiatric care? He needs medication, not jail and counsellors. He's not 'nuts'. He's very ill and needs help. Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Don't let your relation to him get in the way of doing what is best for your own safety and that of those you care for. I'd limit yourself to talking to him on the phone and see if you can discuss his condition with the police so that they have a better idea of how to handle him next time they come into contact with him. Many police departments now train their officers to better handle patients with mental disturbances and can help defuse situations where they are getting violent. He certainly sounds like he could use some anti-psychotics. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 He been told hes got a split personality.He sent me this weird message and its scary.My sister goes out with this man whos 40.My sisters 18.He saying hes worried about her but he will get there in the end.Im unsure what he means by this because i know what he means when he sorts things out! At the moment my brothers with a counsellor.He tried to get a psychologist but hes got to wait 3 months!he needs one now.I dont wont to get too involved,i know hes my brother but we have never really been that close and i will not put my sons life in danger.My son is nearly 11 months old he cant defend himself. I was at my mums yesterday and he rang saying he wantd to talk to her because he was having a panic attack.I dont know what to do.I do feel sorry for him but at the same time i hate him because of whats he done to our family. Sometimes and i know this is nasty but i wish he would stay in hull where he is .He wants to come here because hes in debt and is scared.I get the feelings hes going to do something stupid to get back into prison so he doesnt have to face up to it! Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 i hate him That's so mean. He didn't ask to be stuck with a sickness. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 He been told hes got a split personality.He sent me this weird message and its scary.My sister goes out with this man whos 40.My sisters 18.He saying hes worried about her but he will get there in the end.Im unsure what he means by this because i know what he means when he sorts things out! At the moment my brothers with a counsellor.He tried to get a psychologist but hes got to wait 3 months!he needs one now.I dont wont to get too involved,i know hes my brother but we have never really been that close and i will not put my sons life in danger.My son is nearly 11 months old he cant defend himself. I was at my mums yesterday and he rang saying he wantd to talk to her because he was having a panic attack.I dont know what to do.I do feel sorry for him but at the same time i hate him because of whats he done to our family. Sometimes and i know this is nasty but i wish he would stay in hull where he is .He wants to come here because hes in debt and is scared.I get the feelings hes going to do something stupid to get back into prison so he doesnt have to face up to it! Outcast is right.. that's very mean. He's obviously very mentally ill. It's not his fault.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 Ok i dont exactly hate im just angry with him but he has put me and my family through a hell of alot.How can i not blame him at the minute.Hes done other things also and even though i do feel for him and i want him to get help on the other hand i do hate whats he done. Do you understand.We live in fear he will do something else.Yes i know it was mean to say i hated him sorry about that because i dont exactly hate him.I just hate what he has done. Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 Ok i dont exactly hate im just angry with him but he has put me and my family through a hell of alot.How can i not blame him at the minute.Hes done other things also and even though i do feel for him and i want him to get help on the other hand i do hate whats he done. Do you understand.We live in fear he will do something else.Yes i know it was mean to say i hated him sorry about that because i dont exactly hate him.I just hate what he has done. Toni, I most definitely understand as my brother was like that for various times in his life. I hated my brother, too. He ended up in a mental hospital three times in the past 20 years and was very violent some of those times. It's time to have your brother hospitalized so that they can at least try some of these drugs out on him. My brother is fairly stable now and is able to do pretty much everything most other people do, including going to school and having his own friends. And I have another friend with a brother just like mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 My mum wants something done but i think shes scared.Thanks for writing.People dont seem to understand.Maybe to say i hate him is nasty but if youve ever bin in the situation its really hard to constantly be scared of what hes going to do next. Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 You're right, Toni; this is a scary and potentially life-threatening situation. There's mental illness and then there's violent mental illness, and it sounds like your brother falls into the latter category. Go to the police, tell them the situation, and ask them what your options are. I don't know what they are in the UK. Can you have him committed to a mental hospital? How do you do that? Can you get an order of protection for you and your b/f and child? The police should know the answers to this. And folks, this isn't your average garden-variety mental illness. Unless you've seen someone just suddenly go off and violent, you have no idea. I've seen a 90# woman suddenly attack a 200# male psych nurse with no provocation whatsoever, and it took 5 big people to restrain her or she'd have killed the man, who ended up in hospital for a week. Another male nurse was treated for a concussion in this incident. We have a tendency to romanticize mentall illness sometimes, and while most are harmless, some are not, and it's extremely scary. We do no good castigating someone who seems genuinely frightened and in need of help just because she shared what are perfectly understandable feelings given the circumstance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted December 12, 2005 Author Share Posted December 12, 2005 I have no idea on how to go about getting him help.As for the police they wouldnt be able to do anything until something happens!which to me is stupid! my brother has started to have feeling for a women who is double his age and is in a relationship.Where all scared if he tells this women how he feels she wont want anything to do with him anymore and hes the sort of person that will think its the end of the world and do something stupid! Where trying to help him but hes making my mum feel stressed she has quite abit on her mind already like her mum died recently.Although she wants to help him at the same time she cant be doing with all of this right now.He keeps talking to her but no about of us talking to him is going to help.Hes tried to get to see this pyschologist and its going to take 3 months waiting.He needs help now!Anything could happen! Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 I know our medical system's different but as I recall one of the reasons why it takes so long to see a specialist in the UK is because emergencies take precedence. You're going to have to persist. Is it possible to call this psychologist and explain the situation? It sounds like he may need a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication, not just a psychologist. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted December 13, 2005 Author Share Posted December 13, 2005 They wont my brother told his doctor it was urgent but there are other people waiting.I would have thought a psychiatrist would have been better but no one will listen to me :S Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 Hes tried to get to see this pyschologist and its going to take 3 months waiting.He needs help now!Anything could happen! That's to see a state funded doctor. Can your mother pay for a private doctor? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted December 15, 2005 Author Share Posted December 15, 2005 My mum cant afford to as shes on benefits.My brothers in loads of debt to so he cant afford it.It costs loads to go privatley Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 Sorry to hear. I wish I could be of more help. Take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted December 15, 2005 Author Share Posted December 15, 2005 thanks anyway ill just have to see what happens Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 thanks anyway ill just have to see what happens Really, that's all you can do. If by chance you talk to your brother, tell him you have had a chance to talk to someone else who also has a brother that was in trouble like him. Tell him about how medication and couseling worked out in the long run, and that it didn't all turn to crap. Maybe a little hope for the future is all he needs for now while you are waiting. Tell him to hang on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 Yea i will do Thanks alot its nice to know that im not the only one in this situation Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Yea i will do Thanks alot its nice to know that im not the only one in this situation I guess it is also reassuring to know someone who has gone beyond these bad times to a more civil time where you actually like seeing your brother. Maybe not weeks at a time of course. Ha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 lol i just want my brother to be normal and stuff so we can actually behave like brother and sister instead of me n me sis stepping on eggshells all the time around him.Well i think id like him to be as normal as brothers can be like me n me sis we get on good except for the odd stupid arguement lol Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 Well, with your brother you definitely will have to learn what his buttons are and not to touch them. No doubt he has political views he feels strongly about. Let him rant and rave, but don't get pulled into a debate. I learned that one pretty fast. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted December 17, 2005 Author Share Posted December 17, 2005 Me and my sister have tried to get him to come out more by inviting him places.We went to bowling last week and i gave me sis the money and my brother said hed give her the money back but he hasnt.He always goes to play pool with my sister and never pays anything.We know hes in debt but he suggested the bowling and my sister cant afford to pay for him all the time.She darent say anything because he will go off on one but if she doesnt invite him he will too. Its really hard! Link to post Share on other sites
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