In love with best friend, yeah another one.

[TrashcanRobot]

Ok here goes, There is a girl I have been best friends with for the past four years, we have dated off and on through out the beginning of our relationship, but we wound up just keeping it as friends. We have a really special relationship, like nothing I've had with any other person. We are very spiritual minded people and we connect on that level. We really talk about the things we think and feel, I mean we share everything with each other. I think about my passed relationships I've had, and they were good and I am still friends with my ex, she is a good person, but all those passed relationships had those negative asspects, you know the jealousy, posessiveness and the emotional games, not to say that the relationships were horrible, they were mostly good but all had the subtle undercurrent of unsatisfaction, do you get what I mean?

Anyway I have no doubt in my mind that this is the girl that I want to spend my life with. Now here is the problem, she has a boyfriend. I know she is not completely happy, we have talked about it before and I know that eventually she will end it. But i want to tell her so badly how much I love her, I do tell her that I love her and she tells me back, but she doesnt know the extent of it. I have this love for her building inside that I just want to let out. I am hesitant to tell her because I know how difficult it is to break up with someone and I hate to think of possibly forcing her into that difficult situation. Also we are living in different states right now and she is planning on visting me in a couple of months. Should I hang in there and wait till she comes to see me and see what happens? I dont know, I need to let her know one way or another. Mainly I just needed to tell someone how I feel about her, even if it is just a message board.

[Liliana]

Hi Robot,

 

Well, I don't know how much advice I can give here, but anyway people are definitely listening!

 

Falling for a friend is scary, huh? What you have with this girl seems really special and I wouldn't give up hope in the long term. I don't think that confessing all right now is going to be a good move - if she is already in a relationship that may be going pretty badly then adding more emotional stuff into the balance for her to consider will only confuse her. Paradoxically, you may end up driving her further into the arms of her current boyfriend, since she might think, 'I'm only having doubts here because of the latent feelings between me and my friend, T.'

 

All I can say is hang on in there. If she is really unhappy in her present relationship, it will come to an end. She will appreciate your being there for her and listening to her. Then maybe later you can start making subtle moves (I'm thinking perhaps the sort of things that you might do either as a friend or a boyfriend, things that might just make her wonder why she isn't still dating you) and see how she responds.

 

Pay attention to how she behaves towards you when she comes to visit, and take your cues from there.

 

Keep us updated! Good luck

[Outcast]

Should I hang in there and wait till she comes to see me and see what happens?

 

Absolutely. What you can do when the feelings overtake you is write her a letter or start a journal where you can write everything down. Don't send the letter, of course. Someday you can let her read it but for the time being lie low and wait until the visit to decide what's next.

[TrashcanRobot]

Hey guys, thanks a lot i really appreciate the advice. It really does feel better just to write out how I feel. I guess the best thing is to wait, even though I really want to spill everything out, but I will play it smart. Thanks again.

[Liliana]

attaboy!

 

:bunny: :bunny: