Mother Issues...or maybe it's me?

[Audrey1]

Ahhh, the holidays. Lovely indeed. Nothing like spending quality time with the family.

 

So...my mother. We are very close. Talk about everything. She's fabulous in so many ways. Honest, kind, patient, amazingly intellegent, educated, cooks well, outdoorsy, fashion savvy and stunningly beautiful. I'm grateful that I was also lucky enough to receive many of these qualities from her her as well. BUT...there are things that she does that drive me 100% insane to the point where I detest the very sight of her at times. Over the years these little annoyances have begun to grow on me where I often find myself mad at her for no reason other than she's just being herself.

 

For example...she gets obsessed with her pets and acts like a looney about them. She talks politics non-stop. She repeats the same stories over and over. She's dramatic and has mastered the "one day I might not be here" guilt monologue. She nags 24/7. She sucks at decorating and just buys things that are blue. Whatever...not the end of the world. She could be worse. But they annoy me to no end.

 

So on Thanksgiving I traveled to see my parents and she was her usual self and I found myself furious at her for no reason. Every last word out of her mouth bugged me. Everything she wore bugged me. Her very existence bugged me. So I was quite snippy all weekend for no reason and of course when I left I felt badly about how rude I was.

 

Then it dawned on me. I've been picking up some of her annoying traits myself and I can't stand it. That old stigma of daughter turning into the mother? Case and point. I suppose you can't help it. You spend time with someone and they rub off on you whether you know it or not. But these traits that I'm picking up I CAN'T STAND in her and I want nothing to do with them...I don't want to be these things.

 

So I'm furious at my mother for having these annoying traits because I'm picking them up and I feel like she's ruining me in some way. Sounds crazy I'm sure (and dramatic) but I'm going nuts for feeling angry at someone for being themselves. Especially when she's really an amazing person and she's been an amazing mother to me and an amazing wife to my dad. They've been married 41 years and they are still so much in love and I was so lucky to be raised in that environment. I mean, I've learned SO much from her and she's been such a huge influence on my life and now I have a great life...because she gave me the strength and tools and wisdom to get through it. So WOW do I feel bad for focusing on these annoying habbits. But lately, that's all I see.

 

Oh well. Not sure what to do. I just feel guilty and mad and frustrated.

Sorry for any typos..typing fast

[penkitten]

hmm what should you do?

you could call her up and tell her everything you dont like about her but that will probally just hurt her feelings.

 

you could just forgive her for being human and love her for the good in her.

 

you can also try to change the things about yourself that you do not like.

 

if you absolutely hate how she dresses, take her shopping one day just the two of you and pick out something. tell her she looks great in it. remember your mothers favorite color is blue , lol.