independant women

[confussed]

My girlfriend and i have been going out for almost 10 months now and since the summer started she has been acting strange. She has been really busy with her work and cheer and we haven't been able to see eachother as much as we used to. She sat me down and told me that she just wanted to be friends because she when she doesn't see her she "always" cheats on them. I was confussed and heart broken, i asked for a valid reason and if i had done something wrong, but she had nothing to say. Needless to say i went home and didn't get much sleep. she called me 2 hours later and apologized and said she wanted to get back together and that she didn't know what she was thinking. I was so happy and being nieve i thought things would just go back to the way they were. Its been about 3 weeks and we've then talked about is more on several occations and what i've gathered is that in the summer she gets in these "moods" where she doesn't feel like herself and she doesn't like to be romantic or touchy feely, ie hold hands, hug... kiss. And she says that relationships make her stressed and if it gets to stressful with everything else she's just gonna have to put it on hold for a while. Well basically i would like to know if anyone had any thoughts on this or any suggestions for me because i love her and i don't want to loose her.

 

thanks

[sparkle]

Tell her you don't think relationships should make a person feel stressed out. Don't put up with this wishy-washy behavior. Tell her that if she's always confused and if she doesn't know what she wants, then you don't want to be with her right now. Stop calling her for a while and see less of her. Let her figure out what she needs to do or wants to do--but on her own time.

 

Meanwhile, focus on spending time with your friends and family and doing activities that you enjoy doing. That will get your mind off of her. She sounds pretty confused and she doesn't know what she wants. But you don't have to sit around and wait for her to figure it out. You don't deserve that. You don't deserve her moodiness either.

[Lauren]

I guess I'm trying to understand your problem - seems like you skipped a couple of words. I'll try my best. Continue talking to this person if she means that much to you. Obviously you have been together to ten months - something must be working. Has she shown these signs of distance before? Any signs at all - maybe the most subtle, shor-lasted, slightest? Try to get her to open up. I am a very independent woman myself and I know that I drive my boyfriend crazy when I don't totally open up. Mostly I do it to protect myself. I'm much better than I was; and some of it is due to the fact that he and I have had quite an unusual beginning to our relationship. However, he and I ALWAYS talk. ALWAYS!! That really matters. Even if it takes awhile to get to the actual heart of the problem - and trust me, digging around to get to the bottome of a problem is VERY common. These are called "tests" of a relationship. How much are you willing to open up (become vulnerable) to her in order to show her that you are truly THERE? How much is she willing to share (show deep down inside - beyond the self-reliance) to show you that ten months is not the end? If you truly care about her, love her, stick with it kiddo. I'm not an expert of anykind, I just know what I have experience with my boyfriend and I can't imagine how someone could be so wonderful to me. And it hasn't been one-sided. I've put up with some real BULL-SH!!. Everytime he opens up or he searches for my feelings/thoughts - I feel closer to him. I truly feel cared for, appreciated, and wanted. Show her that you are willing to go that far and will be patient and supportive. It WILL happen. My girlfriend and i have been going out for almost 10 months now and since the summer started she has been acting strange. She has been really busy with her work and cheer and we haven't been able to see eachother as much as we used to. She sat me down and told me that she just wanted to be friends because she when she doesn't see her she "always" cheats on them. I was confussed and heart broken, i asked for a valid reason and if i had done something wrong, but she had nothing to say. Needless to say i went home and didn't get much sleep. she called me 2 hours later and apologized and said she wanted to get back together and that she didn't know what she was thinking. I was so happy and being nieve i thought things would just go back to the way they were. Its been about 3 weeks and we've then talked about is more on several occations and what i've gathered is that in the summer she gets in these "moods" where she doesn't feel like herself and she doesn't like to be romantic or touchy feely, ie hold hands, hug... kiss. And she says that relationships make her stressed and if it gets to stressful with everything else she's just gonna have to put it on hold for a while. Well basically i would like to know if anyone had any thoughts on this or any suggestions for me because i love her and i don't want to loose her. thanks