I Want To Help, But first i need it.

[andyboy]

At the place I have been working for the past year and a half I have worked with this girl. From the first time I met her I felt this strong attraction to her (the omg this is the one) badly now over time we became friends now the bad thing about this is that I have been told by numerous people that I have that guy friend personality when it comes to certain girls that I meet I have tried once before to ask her out but I was told that I was to much of a friend to her for her to go out with me I guess its because I sat there so many times and listen to her problems when no one else would. now I know in most situations guys would usually see the red flag and just give up at that point but I just cant get her off my mind I love this girl so much, I would do anything to call her my girl. Now for the bigger twist to my story this girl that I want to date so badly has a boyfriend that is very physically protective about her however he treats her like crap both mentally and physically with her sometimes coming in to work crying telling me how bad he treats her and how he just cheated on her and is doing drugs and how she was going to leave him but never did because she has this overwhelming idea that its is going to get better for some reason, telling me she will have no place to go if she leaves because her family doesn’t like her anymore because her mom is ‘a bitch’ and her dad got divorced a long time ago and her step fatter sides with her mother and she fears being alone more than anything and I know that she can do so much better, now that’s about the time I tried to go out with her now this was like 7months ago, now with in the past 2 months she got pregnant and I thought all was lost and basically just gave up now within the last month her boyfriend started to drugs again badly and skipping around on girls again putting excessive stress (bad thing while pregnant) in her life ultimately causing her to loose the baby, I guess that finally put a little sense in her because now this week she has begun talking again about leaving him again although this time I think its a little bit more realistic or at least I hope but she’s talking the same talk again now about not having any where too go and no one to care for her and stuff now I know because I’ve read many sites that it usually isn’t easy too leave an abusive relationship and I doing really hurt for sure know what to do about it I know if it carries on she’ll wind up getting seriously hurt and I don’t want that to happen. I guess what im looking for are suggestions or guidance on how to go about overcoming this situation. I want to help her break her ties with him I just don’t know how please provide guidance!

[Becoming]

Find and give her the number of a domestic abuse center in your area so she can call and talk to someone. You may want to offer to let her stay with you until she can get on her feet, if you're comfortable doing that. If he finds her at your place and he's physically abusive, you could have a real scene and have to be prepared for that possibility. But her staying with you has to be platonic. If you really care for her, you need to provide the space for her to heal without any pressure from you. But with patience, who knows? Many a great relationship starts in friendship.